DarkPhoenix


DarkPaladin Male Dominant, 66, Hayward, California	DarkPassion Male Dominant, 42, Hannover	darkprincess Female Switch, 22, jackson, Michigan

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	About DarkPhoenix Sydney University and all other institutions using this site or its associated sites for projects - You do not have permission from me to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action. ( I suggest the rest of you post this notice) 02/13/2010 W/we are also looking for a female friend who is willing to share quality time with her Master when she is not available due to family issues. Someone who understand that He is available for friendship and even erotic / sexual times with or without her, but that He is committed to her. 01/05/2010 I am honored to once again have My precious in My life, heart and soul. I made a FEW mistakes and mis read a letter from her and nearly tossed everything away. For example, while she said she need to be with her family and take care of her mother, I over looked the fact that she asked Me to contact her and discuss this with her. She had said something to the effect of "do want to talk with you about this" It was toward the very end of the letter and I stopped reading the letter when I got to the point of her saying that she needed to be there for her mom and her children. That was a MAJOR MISTAKE on My part. Had I read that part, it would have been clear that she was trying to express only feelings and wanted My input on what to do as well as what I thought. I am learning with and along with her, to keep very open lines of communication and have to understand that she is not like any other woman that I have ever been involved with. She is be far one of the best things that has ever happen in My life and I will make whatever changes I need to do in order to reflect that level of commitment with her. 01/04/2010 I am learning and growing and healing. I have made some mistakes and now and working on correcting them. I am a Master but I know when I have done wrong and I did wrong to something that was very precious to Me. Now it is just a matter of time to see if I can fix what was once perfect. With My precious, I finally realize what a true Master is. A Master is not someone who thumps His chest or who has to bark orders. With her, I can be Myself and enjoy all that W/we have to offer each other. I moving forward on a journey that will go beyond the physical and enters the Spiritual realm. Life is too short. Like the song: Do something once a day that scares you”. This phase inspired Me to strive harder and enjoy the short life that we have on this planet. I do not want to go to My grave wishing I had did XYZ. __Some of My favorite sayings:__ "Dance Like No one is watching Laugh as if you have no care in the world Love like today is the last day of your life." I am far from perfect. If you are seeking a God, then what you found is a Man. I have many faults. But I do try to improve myself. No one in this world is perfect. "Why keep someone as a priority when they keep you as an option?" “Always Appear Weak when Strong. Always Appear Strong when Weak.” Ancient Art of War “Bear your heart and soul to the One and expect them to do the same. If they cannot and they hold back, then you need to pull back and move on.” My title does come from not My Ego but from the real world. If you wish to know more....simply ask.

Brent

Thank you for your clear and consise letter. I have been reflecting and understand what I did was wrong. I have been in constant contact with My precious over this matter.

I have not been trying directly to hurt or insult her. I was not trying to directly trick others into give Me their sympathy. I was rather trying to make sense of something that I DID NOT READ completely and accuratly.

I have no one to blame BUT MYSELF on this screw up. When I received the letter, I literally stopped reading as soon as I got to the point where she was going to stay with her mom and her children. I completely over looked the fact that she wanted to talk about her feelings and hear My side of the conversation that she was trying to start.

I will not defend anything that I did as right. I will not take offense to anything that you have said. I feel that you are correct and that her and (MOSTLY) I need to keep very clear and open lines of communication with each other. It is far to easy to read something and fly off the tangent in regards to the written word.

Once she explained herself, and I realized that I was wrong, I wanted to change everything and once again show the world that her and I are O/one and that I had screwed up. However, I mistook what she said to Me in that she would have felt that I was pushing things too fast back to where they were. That is why I have not changed anything on My profile or journal entries.

Please do understand that I love this woman and am blessed by the fact that she is not like any of the other ones that have played games, mislead, etc,etc. I am learning from her as much as she is learning from Me.

Please feel free to contact Me with any thoughts, ideas and suggestions. I am far from perfect and am not afraid to share that with the public at large. I will even go as far as posting My response to you in My Journal entries.

Thank you for your direct, honest and helpful letter.

Be well and Be Blessed

I am looking for a roommate who is lifestyle friendly. Major plus if you are submissive and open to possible relationship with Myself and My precious.

I am on the North side of Las Vegas and am looking for someone to share expenses at My residence. Your own room and parking space.

You are expected to be serious, prefer single and committed to the lifestyle. Please look over O/our profile and contact Me with any questions.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Sorry about the days between journal entries, been working on a new karaoke location. If you love to sing or like to watch,? let Me know and I will keep you posted.? I have to sign the contract and then I will post the actual location!

Three icons from My youth have died in the span of a single week. I still remember the poster of Farrah on the back of My bedroom door (My mother was not one for posters all over the room.) I remember watching the Price is Right every summer and on days when it was vacation, sick day from school. Now Michael Jackson, regardless of what some would called him, died at the young age of 50.

Life is too short. If you waste it, there is no undo or re-wind button. It is simply game over.

To all that read this, know that life is precious. DO not waste it with games, fakes, pushing things off till tomorrow, and the like. Do not waste the time. Deal with it now. Do it now. Hug them now. Regardless of all the money that you earn, no matter how big a burial, the results are the same. You came into this would with nothing and you will leave with nothing.

Leave some good memories. For that is the only real way that you will live forever

When looking for that perfect Dominant or submissive, never rush it. Take your time. Too many times, a person will rush into a BDSM relationship for all the wrong reasons: Lonely, fear, need ( financial / emotional), or just plan survival. A perfect rose is not grown on the first try, it takes years of study, cross breeding and pruning to yield that one perfect rose. The same goes for the search of the perfect submissive or Dominant.

Slow down and get to know each other. Save the play for a later time. Leave your clothes on and open your mind to each other. Good things come to those who are willing to take their time.

Remember that is someone is in a rush to meet you, ask yourself why? If they sound like their life is in disorder, do you want to take that on? Remember that you are not the only one that they are talking to and you may find out by surprise that they are no longer avaiable.

Some people can not accept correction / advice. ? They have to be petty and try to belitle someone who turns to them and tells them that they are wrong.? All you can do is chuckle and wish them the best. ? In the end, prehaps they will relize that just because they were corrected, that does not mean that the person who did the correct is worng. ? Perhaps it means that the person who was doing the correcting was not a good match and leave it at that. ?

Just a little something I learned over the last 20 years + in the lifestyle

Another year older and another year wiser

Since I have been here in Vegas, I have seen a lot and learned a lot.
As I reflect on the last year, I wonder what the new year brings for
Me. A new business and a new life has rose from the ashes. A new way
of thinking and new out look on life. Life passes by only those who
let it. Life was meant to be ridden like a bull, for when the time is
up, there is no replay.

I say this because of becoming another year older and looking and
wondering what could have been, what should have been and what may
become in the next few months and year.

Live life to the most and let no one hold you back.

Sir Black Steele

Great weekend. ? I enjoyed much and did much. ? Now to focus on the future.

I received this from a female who read My journal entry:

I am curious why any woman would be proud to be high maintenance. Well, unless she is high maintenance and maintains herself. High maintenance, is that the same as a gold digger? Isnt a gold digger the same as a prostitute in a sense. I mean they pick men with money, sleep with them, date them, all for the sake of money.

I like to think of it like this..... if we were homeless and had to live in our car, or under some bridge somewhere, would be still be okay with that, if we still had our loved one by our side, would our loved one love us enuff to be by our side if things got that bad. Would our loved one stay with us if we became (God forbid) a quadrapalegic, and they had to do everything for us and never have sex?

ALOT to think about when making serious decisions about a person.

EXCELLENT THOUGHT PROVOKING JOURNAL ENTRY.

I logged on and a random person profile popped up. I was struck by the journal entry and something that she said in her profile.

She said that she was a down to earth woman Later in one of her journal entries, she stated that she was a ?high maintenance? woman and that men should just think about why they are complaining when they say that they do not want a high mantenance woman. I for one am one of those who does not like that in a woman

If she has to have the latest in everything, nails perfect, the hottest / sexiest car and the like, does that really show that a relationship is solid and long lasting? Or does it scream that she is there for as long as the $$$ hold out? What happen to the lifestyle? What happen to love? I open the paper and I see dozens of homes being foreclosed on due to people living well over their means. What good is it if you lose the house but have that 70" flat screen?

Too many guys I know, both in and out of the lifestyle have watched their ?loves? walk out the door when times are tough. Show Me a woman who can can dirty with the best, do backing breaking work and who cleans up real good and she is more of a prize than any of the ones who look like a super model and who have not eaten a real meal in over 20 years.

One guy I know, was laid off from his job, came home and told his girlfriend of 2 year what happened. What he did not tell her was that he had saved up enough cash in his savings to pay the bills for the rest of the year and then some( he was saving for a truck). He went to the bank to verify the savings and when he came back, she had packed up her things and was out the door. He had the last laugh when she came back (after running to her other boyfriend and he kicked her out ) and he was back working (in under 2 months).

Do not get Me wrong when I say that I want a woman to look nice and to be a woman. I would like for her to have a nice car, a nice career and have nice things. But if that means that I have to spend more on her than on My house, there is an issue. If she was to get all these things for herself, great. But if she is focused on having the latest and is living on the edge of financial ruin, then I would certainly not want her around. But in the end, does it really matter if you have a $45,000 car, two homes, $1,000 Gucci sunglasses, and manicures / pedicures, if you can not pay your bills or you kick the bucket? Unless someone knows something that I do not know, you can not take it with you. All the fancy clothes in the world mean nothing. In fact there is a man from London, England, who is willing to give away $38 million from the Lottery winnings there, for one simple wish: He is dying and would want to spend a few more years living with his wife, Ida.

To Me, he clearly understands what is important.

Someone had placed an journal entry that touched very deeply. So deeply that I had to respond via My own journal entry. This versions address what I see wrong in current American women and the lifestyle. My next entry will be more on what is wrong with American Men from a Man's point of view. These are thoughts and feelings based on what I have seen over the years. They are not directed at any one person and to take this as such is a sign that you may have more personal issues that you have to deal with.

Women are attracted and drawn to many of the same characteristics in men. It does not matter if they are submissive or a Domme, they want a man who takes charge and who is able to make decisions, strong, aggressive, romantic and a clear communicator. If a man waffles a bit, he is walked on by woman and used just as fast. Women can respect a strong man as mentioned before, but quickly lose respect for a man who they can step on and mold into what they want. But once a woman has a strong man, what is it that they do? They work on changing him.

A submissive said:

"So what do most American woman do? They have tried to neuter men. They all talk about fifty/fifty relationship but are not willing to meet a man half way in the mental area. Men are different then women. They do not talk about feelings all that much, they are visual creatures, they are geared to get what they want in an aggressive manner. American women though pound into their heads that they should defer to their wishes, their natural desires and interest are wrong and that the things that woman are drawn to and make them successful in other parts in their life are now wrong and selfish in their relationship."

I have said it over and over again. Men and Women are different. While a man needs to be able to meet a woman on her needs, desires, passions, etc, what I see is women not wanting to meet a man on the very same points.

Men are visual. That is the way Mother Nature designed us. What is sexy about a woman who dresses sloppy around the house? She does not have to dress sexy, but from a man?s point of view, why would he look her and think that she is sexy and attractive when she does not even take time to do clean herself up a bit. If you want to go out with her, it takes her about an hour or two to get ready. Why? Because she has to do all the things that she did not do so that she looks good in public. What about in private? Makeup is not always needed, but do not look like you are just rolling out of bed when it is 3 PM. A nice blouse and jeans is fine. Heck even a house dress is cool. Lipstick is fine or some touch up with "LIGHT" make is very nice. When you walk around in your worn out pajamas or worn out clothes all the time, what does that tell Him? That you do not care about your appearance let alone that you do not care about the relationship.

So what happens when an American woman captures their man? The desires to be spontaneous vanishes. They want to do only what they want and not what he wants. They can not handle it if He speaks his mind and only want to hear what they , the woman want to hear. Be strong and macho, but only in the bedroom and only when they want it. They want a man to be romantic, but only if it is like what is in romance novels or what they see on Oparh. They change the man so that he is no longer what he was and has become what they can control and what no other woman would want. Why do you see many married men wearing clothes that no single man would ever buy? Because, their wives bought it for them and it clearly says to other women that they are spoken for.

Sex is another area that is very touchy with American women. They are quick to tell you that they desire a man who mets all their sexual needs and desires. Most will tell you that they want a man to preform oral sex on them. Ask them to do the same for a man and you will hear something like: "Is that all you want? " Why is that? On a side nte, if a woman wants a man to go down on her, then make sure it is clean down there. Take a few minutes to freshen up before hoping in to bed or on to the sofa or whereever. Nothing is more of a turn off then finding pieces of toilet paper there, or her smelling like she has not washed in a few days. Is not a good sexual relationship one based on both a give and take? Is it moe about pleasing each other verses pleasing only yourself? I am amazed at how many women complain when their man want to get them some sexy outfit that turns them on. They will complain about how they feel or what it looks like on them. Perhaps they should also think about what kind of effect that it has on their man. As long as it turns them on, what does it matter. Granted if it was being done in a degrading manner, that is one thing, but as long as your man is pleased and turned on and you both in the end enjoy yourselves that is what counts. Heck, I am even looking for a nice pair of chaps so that I have something sexy to wear in the bedroom....LOL

It is hard to be the Man when the woman does not seem to respond. It is hard to get flowers for someone who does not get you flowers. HINT Ladies, real men can wear pink and do like receiving flowers and stuff like that. When you make a big production over it, it is a turn off. But, us Men like it as well. It is very upsetting when a woman can not make something for her Man that is not from a box. Cooking from scratch is a lost art. But if a man can cook, look out, then all you want is is him in the kitchen. If a guy was to buy all the gifts that "most" women expect and want, he would be broke. How many times has I heard as a man that you need to buy Me a ring, or an necklace or soe other form of gold/ sliver/ or whatever she likes? When was the last time a woman has brought a man something other than just power tools? I dj , when was the last time a woman has brought Me something that I can use for My business?

I have been told time and time again that what I see as attactive is wrong. Excuse Me, but has a Man, that is what I like and I can not control that any more than I can control the color of My skin. Just accept it and move on. Women will dress up in something sexy for some major event, bu what about a Friday night out? I was talking with some guys at work and one of biggest complaint is that women will not wear a skirt or heels any more. Sadly, they will dress like the guys: sweat shirt and pants. If you take them someplace special, dress pants and a blouse. What ever happen to a woman wearing a dress? What happen to a woman looking like a woman and wearing a skirt with a nice blouse? As a guy, I am expected to dress up when I go out, but I can not get the same in a woman? Or they will take it to the extreme and wonder why a guy reacts the way he does? Here is a good hint: wear a skirt or dress more than once a year and you may even get the guy to wear a suit or a tie more than once a year as well. Do that and you will discover that your man will even react in a much more positive way. Give a little to get a little.

A woman wrote "American woman are selfish and confused. They dress with barely there outfits and complain when men stare at them. They want their man to be considerate like notice when they are tired and take them out to dinner but then they always act like they want to be taken out to dinner so what difference does their man care." This is a very touchy area in that I know it all too well. I like My woman to dress in something sexy and even slutty. Who cares what others think as long as she is with Me. As long as I am pleased then, should it matter? So as an American man, I have to wonder what it would be like to have My woman dress in an outfit that I may see another woman wearing. A woman will dress sexy and even slutty when she is trying to catch a man. What happens after she catches him? The outfits vanish and she dresses more like a mother or an old lady. If you want a man to keep the spark in a relationship, then perhaps you should also work at it as well. Go and break out that skirt with the daring slit or the dress with the killer neck line. I believe that a man should constantly work at wearing what turns his woman on or find the scent that drives her wild. If all I wanted as a warm bed, I can get an electric blanket.

If you want a man to take care of you, then you need to work at taking care of him as well. If I work 6 days 12 hours a week and all I hear is how tired you are after working 30 or 40 hours, it quickly gets old. And if you are not working at all and you are complaining then, it will surely get My goat up. Be has hard working as your man. Why would I want to get all the nice toys and listen to that selfish line" What is yours is Mine and what is Mine is Mine."? To Me that just tells Me that you are too lazy to get it for yourself and that you will use a person. BOTH sides need to give equally. There is no excuse there. That is why so many guys are more interested in protecting their retirements and assets when they get involved or married. There are too many gold diggers out there and I am sorry, but I am a guy who has spent My life busting My ass to get what I got, I will not give it up or lose it to someone who is only in it for a free ride.

I see so many women who want their guy to work and yet cannot meet even the basic needs on the homefront. Dirt work clothes for Him. A dinner that is brought from a fast food place or one that he has to cook once he gets home. You looking like you have been in bed all day while he ran his ass into the ground for you. When I was out of work and My ex was working, I had dinner on the table for her and a bath ready for her when she got home ( something that I did for her that was special). I made sure that her clothes were clean and even made sure that I looked good for her when she walked in the door.

So what do I see attracts American women? The romance novel kind of guy. The tough Cowboy kind of guy. The hard motorcycle kind of guy. Give an American woman a nice guy and she can not handle it. She wants the wild bad boy. The problem is that when the wild bad boy mis-treats her, she comes running to the nice guy for a should to lean on and to cry to. If a woman was to really think about it, nice guys are just as wild and crazy as the bad boy. Give them a chance and you would be surpised. BUT if you tell a nice guy who likes to get wild and freaky that he is sick and wierd, then why did you get together with him in the first place? Clearly you were attacted to his wild side and now you want to beat it out of him? And when it is gone, complain that you want that wild, freaky side?

A good example of this is the number of women who say that they are bi. They are looking for a good solid relationship with a Dominant man, but once in that relationship, their bi side vanishes. If He says that he would like to play with her and another woman ( nothing sexually) or that he has a desire to be with two bi women at the same time, she is against it. Either she has done that with others and no longer interested. Or she can not handle the thought of him with another woman. Or she states that she is no longer bi. Or she states that no women is really attractive to her any more. If that is the case, then WHY HAVE IT IN YOUR PROFILE? That is like a guy saying that he has a 12" dick and he was using AOL inches and only has a 4" pecker. That is misleading. If that is one area that you both agreed on when you got together and you later change the rules, then why should a guy not be upset? If a guy says he likes going down on a woman and then stops all together once you two are together, that is wrong. Did he do that just to get you?

So what is an American guy to do? If he wants a woman who is a woman, does he look overseas for such? Does he look for someone who is 20 years younger so that he can build a BDSM relationship that is more of what they may BOTH want? Does He give up on finding a woman who is closer to his age and who is ready for a long term BDSM relationship becuase she has so much baggage that it drags the relationship down? Not sure, but I do know that it needs to change, for there is no reason why it has to be this way. There is no reason why an American woman can not be just as loving, caring, wild, outgoing, sexy, slutty and even a lady without the games. Ladies, please remember that it is a two way street and a good relationship requires BOTH parties to work at it.

Now I will stop here and My next entry will be what is wrong with Men from a MAN's point of view. It will be for sure just as long, if not longer...*S*

Now is the Male version. Guys I would suggest that you strp in. As with My other ournal entry, these are thoughts and feelings based on what I have seen over the years. They are not directed at any one person and to take this as such is a sign that you may have more personal issues that you have to deal with.

What is with the Americna male. They seem to mis understand women and seem to see them as onl y body parts and what they can or can not do. American men seem to think that a woman who is submissive is weak, stupid, childish, and helpless. Why would a man want someone like that? So that he can prove that he is superior? Get real! A submissive woman is far from weak; in fact is very strong woman. She has to be strong enough to let someone dominant her. She has to be strong enough to look within herself and let her needs and desires flow with the right person. If American men think that a submissive is weak because of her willingness to submit, then you do not really understand what submission is.

Just because we are a strong Dominant man, that does not mean you can not be romantic. Guys seem to think that you only have to buy flowers or cards or special gifts during the holidays, Feb 14 and her birthday. When was the last time that you gave her something for no reason whatso every. Being a Dominant also means that you need to understand your woman?s needs. She needs to feel that you care for her beyond the holidays and special events. You do not have to be like the romance novels that she may read, but you do not have to be a lump of coal either.

Do remember that women are BOTH visual and mental. Women lean more toward the mental side. A big dick or an expensive car will only impress a small section of women. Are those the kind of woman you really want? Remember that a woman who is attracted to a big dick. She will only want a big dick and there are bigger ones than what you have. The same goes for a womsn who wants the easy life. If you are smart with your money or you run into bad times, she may vanish faster than a bad singer on American Idol. Most woman want a man who can excite them mentally, arouse them with actions and words. All want a man that they can count on. If she calls you when she needs you and you do not respond or ignore her needs, then why should she meet your needs. I have heard from one submissive after another that when they are sick or need to reach their Dominant, that their Dominant takes forever to return their call or never gets back with them. All that shows her is that you are not what you claim to be. You want a woman to care for you and you can not care for her? You want her to drop what she is doing to be their for you and you can not do the same for her? Then why should she call you her Master, when it is clear that you are not willing to do all that is expected of a Master?

Do not be afraid to share your deepest desires, needs and fears upfront as you both get to know each other. This shows her that you are confident as a man and secure in your manhood. If lets her know upfront what to expect and she can react to everything in what should be a supportive manner. IF she can not accept your needs, desires and fears, then It does not matter how great looking she is or what she can do sexually or non-sexually, MOVE ON. A good relationship should be based on a mutual respect and support of each other.

This part is directed to African American males. If you want to be seen as something more than a gangsta or a big black cock, then do not support or care on the sterotype. That does not mean you have to "act" white or blast the entire internet with shots of your dick. What that means is that you can be a proud African American without acting like what TV or the Movies seem to think we should act like. Why is it that so many black males who are educated seem to think that they have to act like gangsters, dress like they can not afford a belt or decent clothes. There was a time that blacks were looked down on for dressing like street trash. What happened? All the fine clothes do not make a black man "white", but when you dress like trouble, are you not treat like it? Are you not judged by the clothes and the company you keep?

Also if you write a white woman and she turns you down, then do not claim that she is a racist. Many are not open to being with someone outside of their race, that is not being racist. Many cannot handle it or handle the pressure that their family / friends will put on them. Just leave them be. Block them or hide them so you do not see them again or something, but do not play the race card unless it is truely warranted. Not every white woman is into the "Jungle Love" or "BBC" so deal with it. Not every white woman is like those you see in a porn movie any more than every black guy is not like the "thugs", "gangsta" or "hung like a horse" in the same porn movies. I would rather she be interested in Me for Me being a Dominant. Now if she is also turned on by Me being black as well, that only adds to the relationship. Now if she comes to Me and says that she is turned on by a BBC or serving a Black Master, that tells Me just how far this will go and I can either accept it or say no thanks. Do the same as well: If you are only interested in white taboo sex, then just say it. Be honest with yourself about it and do not get pissing if you are turned down.

What is one of the first things that an American tries to do with a woman: He tries to change her. Now if that change is for the better, that is fine. For example, getting her to quit smoking so that you both can live a long well into your later years , or to help her lose some weight so that she can be healthier is fine. But if you force her to change into something that she is not, just because you want it, that is not right. While some change helps strengthen the bond between you both, other changes may strike her at the core and could drive you both apart.

If you come to a woman in the lifestyle and you state that you are a straight or a Dominant, do understand that she is expecting that you are going to stay that way. Most submissives are looking for a certain level of stability. Unless you tell her upfront that you are bi , bi-curious or that you want to switch, she could be turned off. Nothing is more upsetting, than a Dominant who tries to get His submissive to accept something along these lines, when she is clearly not into these things.

Can you guys use photos that are not 10 or 20 years old? If you state your age as mid to late 40s or 50s, then WHY use a photo that is 20 to 30 years old? Very few of us do not change, we have receding hair lines or the belly grows a faster than your hair or more wrinkles appear on your face than on a single box of raisins. Be honest and upfront about your looks and age. DO not comb the hair over the bald spot, use a photo that is 20 years younger and expect her not to notice when you met her. The same goes for those guys who all claim to have over 12". Stop using that AOL ruler and use a Stanley. When you met her face to face, she will know if you are telling the truth. As for when you drop your pants, you will be embarrassed when she laughs, gets dressed and leaves.

More to come....

Happy New Year to all

Merry Christmas to all and may all your wishes come true

What would you do if your submissive's children disrespect you and use you, would you end the relationship or just ignore and not have anything to do with the children?? ( young adults over 18)? ?

I was asked that question by a lifestyle friend. ? I have been down that path a few times....sadly.? Not a way I would start the holidays

I think I will head out to My favorite coffee shop and relax for a bit before running errands. Read the paper and view the world around Me. Perhaps I will run into someone, perhaps someone will say hello, perhaps someone will just smile. But I need a break and coffee is in order...*S*

Why is it that so many women think that every black man is hung like in the movies? Is every white guy hung like what you see in the movies? I highly doubt it. While I would like to care on the myth that all black men are over a foot long, that is not the case. While I may be black, I am certainly not hung like those guys in the porn movies. If I was, trust Me I would be working there?.and I would not be getting as much action one would think. For every one woman who can handle a guy who is over 12 inches there are a few dozen who can not. Thankfully I am not over 12 inches, closer to the lower double digits. At least I have never had a woman as if I was in there. I have had a few say ?Damn!? but never had any run away screaming ?Get that thing away from me!? I would suggest that before any woman assumes that a black man is hung like a horse, you can at least ask. While you may or may not get an honest answer, it all depends on the man if he is honest and real with himself. It also helps if he is not using AOL inches

Yes I am being funny!!!

This is in loving memory of what Lord Colm and Jade hav e. I look to them both and their readings and life. I hope to one day Meet Lord Colm in person. I look up to Him. What they have is what everyone in the lifesytle should strive for.

In Loving Memory
Jade's Rose
My Beloved Jade
1970-1999

He Takes Me Beyond

Beyond thought
Beyond pain
Beyond consciousness
Beyond shame.

He takes me beyond
All earthly fetters and chains
He fills up my world
Until nothing remains.

Beyond touch
Beyond sight
Beyond reason
Beyond right.

He takes me beyond
The prison fear brings
My spirit's released
And my heart has found wings.

Beyond fear
Beyond measure
Beyond flesh
Beyond pleasure.

He takes me beyond
The places I've been
Only to return me
And take me again...beyond.
Copyright?1997 by jade

In the early morning hours of February 3, 1999, my precious Jade
slipped unexpectedly from this existence into the next. Her body, left
weak and defenseless by a nearly year-long struggle against systemic
lupus erythromatosus and months of debilitating chemotherapy, was
unable to fend off a bout of pneumonia. Within 24 hours of being
admitted to the hospital for difficulty breathing from a respiratory
infection, she was goneShe had fought her way back from near
death, endured the ravages of chemo, and had finally managed to gain
some control over this insidious disease. She had gained most of her
kidney function back, had completed chemotherapy, and we were making
plans to get on with our lives together. But in a cruel twist of fate,
the weekend following her last chemo treatment she contracted an upper
respiratory infection. Her immune system, unable to rally against the
invading opportunistic disease because of the effects of her chemo,
simply could not defend itself. The antibiotics were not working, and
she was admitted to the hospital the morning of February 2. None of us
could have expected what would follow. Despite valiant effort by the
hospital staff, she deteriorated with unimaginable speed. 24 hours
later, her heart fell silent. And she was gone.Her last words
to me were, "Don't worry, although I suspect you will anyway. Please
take care of you for us, Master. I love You so very much." I
will take care of me, my precious one. For us. Rest now. Thank you for
sharing your life with me, for loving me so beautifully. My life has
been blessed in sharing our little time together. Thank you for making
me more than I was and for showing me the meaning of unbounded love.
Thank you, little one, for opening my heart and shining your light on
places I'd long ago locked away. There you shall forever reside. Good
bye, my treasure. For now. In time our souls will once again be
reunited as they have been destined to be since time immemorial. I love
you, sweet Jade, more than I ever dreamed was possible. Good bye. Jade's
family has taken a moment from their grief to express their gratitude
to you, dear readers, for the outpouring of emotion and support you
have lent us all in our time of tragedy. They take comfort in knowing
that their daughter meant so very much to you. A special "thank you" to
a very special friend who made these words available. B., you have
eased my suffering more than you can know. Thank you for being there
for us all. Click here to read. Our Heartfelt AppreciationNever
could we have expected or imagined the outpouring of love and
expressions of grief shown by so many people from all over the world.
Words cannot express the comfort we find in knowing her brief life
touched so many in ways we are yet unable to comprehend.An
angel carried our baby away long before we were ready to let her go. As
we struggle to find ways to accept the unacceptable we find strength
and solace in sharing our loss with those who have offered their
sympathies and encouragement. To each of you we send our deepest
gratitude for letting us view our little girl in your eyes.To
her life's partner and faithful companion, we send our love and share
your pain. Thank you for loving her through the worst of times and
never failing to make her laugh. In your care she learned the true
meaning of love and sacrifice. Thank you for reaching beyond your own
grief to comfort her family and friends, who otherwise, never would
have known the woman you knew as your Beloved Jade.Sincerely and with heartfelt gratitude,The parents, family, and friends of Jade

It is the holiday season. ? Time to spend time with loved ones and good friends. ? This season will be hard since I do think of My mother who passed away and that I will not get to see her smiling face again, except in My memories.? There are a lot of thoughts going through My mind on this holiday.

I would like to wish all good times and best wishes.?? Do remember that life is short and that we can not turn the hourglass back over once it has run out of sand.? I wish that everyone here find what they seek and that they realize that life is not about getting laid or how fast you rush into something.? Life is about sharing, talking, growing and learning about each other and yourself.? It does not come over night, but over the long haul.?

Life is not about how many toys you have or all the people that you play with/ sleep with/ know.?? Life is about the ones you can turn to when the barn burns down.?? The one you can call at 1 AM and they will rush out to get you when you are broken down on the side of the road.?? It is about the person who you stop what you are doing and come to their need without expecting a handout.?? Life is about good friends and family.??

Once life is over, it does not care how much money you have or do not have.? It does not care if you have a house in the "good side" of town.?? All that is left is the memories that you leave behind in the various people that you touch.

Life is about the love of someone whose soul you have touched.? The kind of love that is blind and never ending.?? The love that so many seek and very few find.?

I wish all here the very best this holiday season.? I hope that My words will get you to stop and think.? Perhaps reach out to that special someone and tell them how you feel.?? Perhaps get you to slow down and spend time with them, for time can never be set to rewind.? Look at what is important in your life and remember what lives on past you.??? But do remember that you have to be honest and true to yourself before you can be honest and true to someone else.? Love yourself and you will be able to give love freely.? Only then can it be returned freely.

Best wishes to all....

Well today was another interesting day. I had a female from My past msg Me ( after not talking to Me for over a year) and drop hints that she wanted to be spanked and fucked. When I asked her , WHY she could not have talked to Me over the year and why she seems to only contact Me when she wants a BBC, she was offended. She complained that she was working long hours on two jobs( one managing an escot service and the other regular job) and that she does not have time for freindships, let alone anything other than a fuck. Now, she was someone that I was interested in and when I tried to get to know her better, she had rushed off to be collared by someone ( it did not last). A few months after that she contacts Me asking if I wanted to join in on a gang bang that she was having, which I told her no way.

Well, back to the present. I was very blunt and clear that if she only wanted My BBC, that would have been fine, EXCEPT that she has not shown any interest in My needs and desires and that it seems to only be for her pleasure and enjoyment. Personnally, I would not mind a FMF good time, but I will certainly not contact someone that I have not spoken to in over a year and say to them , "care to let Me spank you/fuck you"

Why is it that most of the Vegas women I have come across seem not to have any respect for any guy unless it is to feed their needs and desires? I hate to label like that, but it seems to be the case. Use them and abuse them (guys) and move on to the next one. If a guy does that, he is an A-hole, bu if a woman does that, she is exploring her opitions or something like that.

I know that she will contact Me in about 6 to 8 months as if nothing as happened. It is sad, one day she will wake up and she will discover that she is alone, hurt and abused and that it as mostly by her hand. I generally look up to submissives, this one I do not.

some people can be just rude ...others can be just black in the heart.?? They will reap what they sow.

I djed a wedding last night.? It was a Greek wedding and it was a blast.? The hightlight of the night was the young man who caught the garther (with s shove from his mother). ? When he found out what he had to do with the garter, his eyes was about 10 times the size of the dinner plates.? He was shocked to say the least......LOL

Well I heard back from Tracy and she has moved on. ? She is trying to "date" in the lifestyle and is now talking to a couple of Dominants. ? I wished her the best and told her to take her time.? Do not rush it. ? I know what she is going through.?? Ihave gone through it a few times and it does not make one feel very happy and secure.? I can only hope that someone does see her for the rare find that she is.?

I have been slow is keeping My enteries up to date.?? This one is very important:

A female freind contacted Me online and vented on My shoulder about a guy who is cares about deeply and who she has tried to capture his attention /? heart.?? She cried that all he does is talk about other ladies and can not see her for what she really has in her heart.?? She has even come right out and asked him what his thinks of her and if they could perhaps explore something more meaningful and deep.?? His response was that he was afraid to hurt her ( I have heard that line a few times in My life.....only to have the woman later come back and say they should have taken the chance)Saddly, the only thing I could do was listen and say to her that it is time to move on.?? I told her that if he can not see you for your real feelings for him and is not willing to explore something more meaningful with you, that you need to stop making yourself available for him and just move on.?? Stop being his shoulder to lean on, a warm smaile on a bad day, stop reaching out to him and just start taking care of yourself.Saddly, she agreed.?? She knows it will hurt, but as each day passes, she also realizes that he will fade into the past and perhaps she can find that Special One for her.I will Keep you in My prayers, Tracy.??? Hang in there.

It was a riot there!? Everyone had a great time.?? The ladies were hot and dancing everywhere.? I played everything from old school rock, to country and everything inbetween.? I am so looking to go back there and rock the place again.

They want Me back for another round.?? Lets see if I can pack the place!

Last Sat was a blast!? I was spinning tunes from the 80 to today, Country, Rock and more last Sat. If you were there for the best decorated cowboy hat, you would hae seen over 30 different ones. The winner was Bob and his is on display there.?? It was so much fun that I have to go back there and do it again.???

Well another year older, another year wiser. ? Need to get out and see about having some fun

It is time to break out the leather......WEG

It is time to express the fire within and to release the fire within someone elese.? THis promises to be a very good day.... perhaps more later...WEG

A friend is someone who you trust.A friend is someone who you turn to for a shoulder.A friend is not someone who will hurt you.A friend is not someone who you hurt.A friend is not someone who you walk away.If you cannot trust someone that you call a friend , then why call them a friend?Sometimes one has to look at someone and realize that they are not the
freind that they claim tobe, but are only interested in their needsand desires.When that is the case, it is time to walk away and startover again.

Okay, being somewhat of a loner here Vegas (very hard to make any real freinds in this city), It is coming to that time where I will be another year older. Suggestions on what I can do besides bake Myself a cake....*LOL* Lets hear some interesting and wild ideas.....I really want to enjoy this one.?? I need to get wild and free!!!!

Thanks

I am in a very pissed off mood. ? Someone that I have not talked to in over 2 years, wrote Me about some health issues.? While I wished her a seedy recover, I had to tell her that I do not remember her and that I was drawing a blank.? No problem, I figured that she would poliely remind Me (after all we are only human) and I would feel like a fool, but we could get to know each other again.

Instead, she starts cursing and ripping into Me because of something that happened in her past (she was robbed, raped and abused by someone from NYC in the lifestyle). I have a thick skin, but to read her colorful use of the English language, I was shocked to say the least. ? I received 3 emails cursing Me and calling Me various names all because I did not remember who she was.?? Well I put a quick stop to that, wrote two polite and direct letters ( the first one she deleted without reading) and then blocked her from contacting Me again.?? If there is a next time, I will just report her and be done with it.

If you have anger issues like that and can not talk to someone in a civil and respectful manner, then I would suggest that you seek help and stay out of the lifestyle.??? While it is sad that there are guys who will abuse, that does not give you the right to launch into an attack when someone could not simply remember your name and who who you are.? No one is perfect, so if your claim to fame is that you are....then you certainly do not need to be around this man.

Think before you lash out.?? That is something that I have learned as a hard lesson in the lifestyle over the years.

I like it when you have those that ask for assistance in meeting others in the lifestyle and who claim to be looking for a friendship. ?? You write them and they not only do not have the manners to reply to your email, but they even delete it without reading it. ? Clearly, you have to think that they are making a judgement based on what? ? Looks? ? What is in your profile?? Or perhaps they are only interested in finding someone who gets them all hot and bothered? ? EIther way, I can see why some of them are still blown off and ignored by any of Us decent guys who want a freind more than just a fuck buddy. ? Remember:? you reap what you sow.

Would you want to be RAPED , while your partner sat by and watched or walked away?

If you are going to write Me and request that I fuck your wife without her knowing or consent, then you better be willing to show your face as well as send her pics.

I get at least once or twice a quarter, some "dome wannabe" who is looking for someone to fuck his wife without her knowing. The latest wanted to drop her off, with duct tape over her mouth and her bound and wanted Me to have My way with her. Notice, THEY never wrote Me and asked if I would be interested in something like that. Notice that he was quick to send her photos, but refused to send his. Notice that when questioned about it, became defensive.

If you question them on it or point ot the fact that it maybe consider RAPE or worst, they act like they are all high and mighty and that you are not a Dominant for not just wanting to use some woman like a slab of meat.

Do not get Me wrong, if I was approached by someone who was interested in exploring their interracial sexual side and they both were willing , understood all, and both were willing to talk to Me, I would seriously consider it. But to treat Me as if I am just a Big Black Cock / Didlo , make demands out of the clear blue, not knowing anything about Me and have Me risk My life as well as My freedom for a clearly one sided demand( she has no say in the matter), is clearly the sign of someone who really does not understand the complete dynamic of a deep and powerful BDSM relationship.

Just because you are My property, that does not give Me the right to abuse and mis use you. I need to know that what I am doing is something that you deeply desire and I need to find someone who is willing to share that same respect for you as we both reach deep down inside your desires.

I love karaoke. ?? I have to reprint My books so that I have My new songs ready for My next Gig? Any singers on here? ?? Perhaps you need to head out to Henerson and join in the fun.

I think that it is time to start blocking and removing those who can not find the respect? to respond to email, even if it is just to say:? "No Thank you".? I hate when they write and I write back and never hear back from them. ? I notice that I have received about 15 emails and wrote another 80 + and only heard back from less then 3 of them.? That is very sad to say the least. Trying to make freinds in this lifesytle is very hard at times....but I have to ask Myself:? "Do I love Myself and why do I put up with the games?" ?

A dear friend of Mine msged Me today and informed Me that she is no longer with her Husband and Master.?? What was upsetting is that they had an open relationship and while she wouldonly be with those that he stated that he was interested in with, he also went behind her back and met other ladies.?? He played with them without any condom or protection of any type.

She also told Me that he gave her a STD.?? So she can no longer be with anyone else or give blood or the like.? She is still in tears and is crying all over this.

While I would like to have a poly or even an open relationship with the male favorite (F-M-F) at what point do you look at it and say "What am I doing?"
He threw away a beautiful? relationship with her.?? I thought they were the perfect couple.? Now she is cursed to be alone for the rest of her life.?? and he does not even care.?? What is wrong with that picture?? ?

Why is it that a Dominant is expected to respond to every and all email that They receive, while the submissive / slave can not show the same respect that they demand? If I do not, then I am called rude, un-caring, not a real Dominant. It seems that the lifestyle, has become more about filling ones sexual needs and less about the core deep trust, respect, value and honor that resides within the BDSM foundation.

Perhaps a few ladies will read this and learn from it. One can simply say: "Thank you, but No Thanks" or the like. If the loser is now rude or hounds you, then report them and block them. I know that I have blocked a few submissives who do not get the message and who are only into themselves / their needs.Just food for thought.

Once again I had to step back away from a possible issue. Saddly, I did not to, but I knew that if I stayed in it, I would be involved in something very messy. That is Drama that I do not need, not when the door could have been closed and a new door opened. Such is life.

It is hard to watch someone do something that you know will kill or hurt them in the end.? Sometimes you have to be strong enough to walk away.?? Perhaps that will help them grow and open their eyes.?? I can not be someone's safety net.

Happy Valentine's Day to all

I hope that everyone finds the one they seek.? I even wish the best to those who can not reply to My email.....*S*

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."

"We must learn to live together as brothers, or we are going to perish together as fools."

"Non-violence is not inaction. It is not discussion. It is not for the timid or weak ? Non-violence is hard work. It is the willingness to sacrifice. It is the patience to win."

(1)Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)

I have just a few thoughts about the people in the lifestyle. First directed to the Dominants / Dommes in the lifestyle and then the submissives / slaves

Would you as a male go to a woman in a bar to get on her knees and suck your cock? Would you tell her to bend over and spread her ass cheeks? Then why would you write a submissive and issue her commands? I have talked to several submissives over the years and it is amazing that there are so many males on here that bring down the lifestyle with their large collection of toys and very little idea of what the lifestyle is all about.

Just because you place a Sir, Master or Lord in front of your name, that does give you the right to demand anything of a submissive that you have no contact or prior knowledge with. I can understand if you have several months and even years of knowing that person. I can understand even if you both have an interest in each other and you both decide to explore things together. But, how can you expect someone to be submissive to you that neither of you have know prior knowledge of each other.

How can you demonstrate that you are in the lifestyle, if you have various photos of your penis and you in various nude positions? Now I can understand if you are willing to tease and try to be a bit sexy, but why when a submissive asks for a photo, do you honestly thinks she wants to see your dick ( limp or hard).

I am surprised in the number of Dominants that feel that this is okay to act this way. If you are one of those, then you need to grow up. You need to rethink why you are in this lifestyle. If you are only here for nothing but sexual release, then you are no better than the married guy who visits a hooker just to get a BJ.

Now, Dommes are just as bad. If you are going to demand that a submissive pay you homage and flood you with gifts, then you are no better than the males on here who try to command the submissives/slaves.

Now submissives /slaves, I have to ask the same of you. If you are serious about the lifetyle, then why create a profile that doesn?t express what you are looking for beyond just the willingness to explore. As a Dominant, I have to read and learn about the lifestyle over the years, I would expect you to do the same. There are various books out there that you can read to help you become a but more aware of the lifestyle. Not just the various romance novels, that only provides the wrong view of the lifestyle. When I say the ?wrong view?, I am referring to the highly romantic or overly sadistic view of the lifestyle. What I am suggesting that you read books like ?SM 101? or ?Screw the Roses and Give Me The Thorns.? At least you can collect some level of knowledge and that will help you in selecting a Dominant as well as protecting yourself.

If you do not try to learn on your own before hand, then you open yourself to being used and abuse by those who are fake /players. Why place in your profile that you are a pain slut and that you have no limit, when you know that you are setting yourself up again to being abused. Perhaps you are a pain slut, but then again if you claiming to be such, then clearly state your experience.

Why would you expect a Dominant/Domme to treat you with respect when you also place nothing but various nude or sexual explicit pics on your profile as well? If you are a person of class, then should you not have photos that display that? There is nothing wrong with photos that tease, but there is a difference. Carry yourself with respect and you can and should demand the same in return.

We all should show each other the same respect that we should each other in the work place and in life. If we do that and demand that, we can enjoy the lifestyle.

Great time at Studio 54. ? I wish I knew some more people so that it could have been a real blast

This is a part of an email that I received from a woman:

no, we're not "afraid" of becoming someone's friend. we just flourish under the security and stability of something more: friend, confidant, partner, lover, all that.   "friend" has become cliche for "i'll be around for you some/most the time but i'm not committing"

My response:

if that is what you believe then so be that.   I beleive that if soneone is NOT someone that I want to be involved with,that I can at least be freinds with them and still enjoy life.   It has nothing to do with fear of commitment, but the realization that we may not be more than just someone to talk to , share thoughts with and enjoy life.

So you ladies are saying that if a man is involved that he is not worth the time to have as a freind?

It is no wonder that most men stay away from women except for sex and a one on one relationship.   You want us to be there for you as a freind , a partner, person to share life with. Why does it always have to be just one on one and you can not be part of a circle / family of friends?    Freinds are the family you pick and share life with.

What is wrong with being someone's FREIND? ? Are all ladies afraid to be a FREIND with a guy? ? Hmmm....

A freind is someone you talk to , reach out to , trust and confide in. ? When the chips are down, you turn to your frineds and family to help you through the tough times. ?? I wish there were more people like that here in Vegas. ? Sadly, someone that I called a friend is sounding more like a fake? /? player so I had to break it off so that I did not have to deal with the games. ? Oh well. ? not much one can say, except "Move On, life goes on"

Today I am a bit side and down. ?? But I am sure that next year will be wonderful. ? May everyone who read this have a wonderful holiday and may all your dreams come true.

For a Child.....

For a child, a mother will walk through a burning fire

For a child, a father will battle death to the end

For a child, a person will risk their life

But there is no greater gift,

than for a child, to give up love and happiness

so that child will grown and have love and happiness

Commincation is the biggest key to any relationship. ? If you are friends with someone or in love,? the lack of commication is one way to kill any relationsip.? IT is one of the basic "foods" that is needed for a relationship to grow. ? Without it, it will dry up and die.

How can you have a relationship with someone if they are going to ignore your needs and desires? ?? How can you have a relationship with someone if they look at you in only terms of sex and not love?

I ask these questions because I know that Myself and a few others have gone through that.? Why should I work hard at a relationship if the other half is only intersted in their needs and deisres??? How can you plan for the future if they can not help themselves?

I have to chuckle in that if? a woman wants a man to stand beside her, then it would be nice if she can stand beside herself.? Remember, if you want a good relationship, then? it should be as close to 50/ 50 as it can be.? Over time, it will be, but if it is not, then you should ask yourself, why put up with it.?

(1)Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)

Here I am working on mixing new music. ? Pity that I could be playing at a club or a bar and sharing good times with others. ?? What is everyone else doing online tonight?

I can respect a person's views on life, relationship. I am surpised at those who wish to have people be polite and respect them as individuals when they can not respect others. A bit of sugar goes a long way. Nothing wrong with being polite. Do not demand respect or politness if you are not willing to give the same in return.

How can you climb in bed with Me if you are not willing to do anything with Me in public? ? What does that tell Me? ? What does that Make Me think? ? More importantly, how should I treat you? ? With Respect?? With Honor?? I think I should treat you the say way you treat Me.? Or better still I should just stay away from you.

It would be nice if a person can accept a person for who they are and not judge them bast on what they think is right or wrong.

I had a person judge Me because I date only non-black females.?? I replied with the following:

If a person is attracted to someone of the same sex, do we judge them as being wrong?? Have we not learned that a gay or lesbian person is someone who has a core that is wired that way, in many cases from childhood??? If We can not accept someone who is interested in someone of the same sex, then how can We demand that someone accepts Us?? Is that not a double standard??

I do not blame her for her beliefs.? I could clear see that she could not accept Mine, so I wish her no ill will.? But it is hard to ask someone to accept who you are when you can not accept them for who they are.

Well I am tagging more songs and creating the CDs. ? Now if I had a submissive to assist Me that would be perfect....LOL.

So Much work to do for those of Us who desire to be in business for Ourselves.

At times One has to wonder if there are any real people on this site, or are they all interested one form of a game or another.

This is an entry that is a copy of a letter that I sent someone who tried to explain to Me why it was best to have Someone else train a submissive for Me. While she did give some good reasons, I do not and shall not agree. Thank you for the response. It was thoughtful. However, In My household I will train a submissive to meet My needs. No one else can come close to understanding what it is that I desire and what I expect or how I wish for My slave/submissive to be. Anyone that claims to know what I want, when I am ever changing and evolving as a being, is only playing a game that I will not be a part of. Too many people feel that if they are being trained by another, that they can come to Me with that as an reason to get to know Me. That I am to be impressed that they are being trained. That means nothing to Me. I was trained by several Dommes and I have learned that if You wish to have a household, you train them Your way. I am not all knowing and all seeing. However, that "training" has been used as an excuse to check out one Dominant while keep another in the bush. That is certainly not what I want. I have played second string to all those who claim to be training who later show their true colors when they claim to be training a submissive that I was interested in. They are nothing more than smooth talking fakes who later use them, and toss them aside. One such submissive over 10 years later contacted Me and discovered that she was played and that the "dom" was nothing more than a player and user. I do thank you for your response, however I was not expecting a reply to My journal entry. It was to show those that wish to use the excuse to be trained by another and that they want to know Me, that they should keep on moving. Either you are trained to My way or you can stay with that individual. In My household, I am the King and no one else can train My household to Meet My standards except Me or My alpha slave/submissive. Thank you and Good Day

I keep running across those submissives who seem to be interested in Me and who tell Me later that she is currently being trained by someone else. ? Yet, they want to be with Me and get to know Me.

Sorry, but how can someone who does not know Me, claim to be training you, the submissive, to meet My needs.?? The only person who knows My needs is Me.?? The only real training I would have to do is untrain you.

?Personally, it sounds more like bull crap than anything else.

So if you are being trained by someone else, do not waste My time and do not waste yours.?? Find someone else.

Punishment

Very clear. A good example of what a True relationship has when all parties are at that level of commitment, respect and love. It does not always work, until you have that level
The Shoe Box"
A Master's Gift
by
Lord Colm and jade

Sitting on the floor near the couch rests a shoe box. It's plain, a bit out of place where it is, and shows signs of frequent handling. Looking at it brings back memories of two days filled with confusion and tears to the two people seated in the living room.

Those two days were long ones, 48 hours that seemed like an eternity. It began over a simple event, now that we have hindsight, but its effect, at the time, was devastating. A simple misunderstanding, feelings that were hidden, thoughts that weren't shared, and walls that went up quickly to shield a wounded heart. Recovering from those two days took time--lots of it--but once the healing had taken place, the shoe box made its appearance.

"Pet, we cannot have a thing like this happen again. Do you understand?" Master said with a weary edge in His voice.

"Yes, Master, I understand," I answered as I lowered my eyes, knowing full well I had upset Him terribly and was going to be punished.

"Come here. Take your place here at my feet," He said. I moved quickly and did as I was told, bracing myself for what was to follow. I'd never angered Him before and I was still regretting the icy silence that I'd fallen into for those two days. It was a terrible time and I'd never felt so alone and and unable to do anything to make it better. It would almost be a relief to be punished so some of the guilt I was feeling would be lifted.

"Do you know what this has been like for me, pet? Can you understand the frustration I felt not knowing what was wrong or what I could do to help you? As your Master I must do something to teach you that this is unacceptable behavior and could seriously damage our relationship," He said with a surprisingly gentle tone to His voice.

"Yes, Master," I replied, still unable to look up into His eyes and see that disappointment in them again. As I stared at His feet, I heard sounds as He shifted His body in His chair. "Here it comes," I thought, as my mind flashed images of the many tools Master owned that could be used to deliver the punishment that was coming. My body braced as I felt His hand touch my shoulder.

"Look up, pet. I have something for you and I want to explain how we will use it to prevent a reoccurrence of your unwillingness to communicate with me," said Master. My heart nearly stopped and I dreaded to look up and see what was waiting.

Slowly I raised my eyes and saw the shoe box resting on His knees. "A shoe box?" I thought, knowing I wasn't about to be given a present for the things I'd done. As His hand pushed the box toward me, I looked up and saw Him indicate with His eyes that I was to take it. My hands were trembling as I picked it up and noticed that it was nearly weightless. My mind was racing, searching for some rational reason that He'd given me this box.

"Go ahead and examine it, pet. You'll find it's empty," He said and watched me carefully as I removed the cardboard lid and looked inside. "This box reminds me of the way I felt for two days...empty," His voice said in a firm tone. He reached for a pen and small piece of paper and wrote as I knelt there and observed His every move, still wondering when my punishment was going to be handed out. He finished writing, laid the pen aside, folded the paper and handed it to me. "Pet, read this paper, memorize it, and then put it into the shoe box," Master spoke in His deep voice.

I unfolded the paper carefully and read the words that He'd written there. 'I will not keep things from my Master. Doing so builds walls between us.' After I'd read it a few times, I refolded it, put it into the box and looked up at Him.

"Do you understand those words, pet," He asked as I nodded my head. "Then put the lid on the shoe box and give it to me," He said. When He'd taken the box, He set it on the floor near the couch and continued. "This box will remain here where you can see it, so when you need to refresh your memory you will open it and read that piece of paper again. From time to time we may need to add a piece of paper to help you with a new problem we'll face. Now stop looking so apprehensive. It's over."

As tears flowed down my cheeks I asked, "Master, are You not going to punish me for what I've done? I'm so very sorry I hurt and disappointed You, Master."

"No, pet, I'm not going to punish you further. You've done enough of that already," He said in the most tender voice. "My job is not to punish you, but to teach you how to do what I wish, what I feel is best for both of us. I've given you a tool to overcome the things that are hindering you and I do expect you to use it. Should this same thing happen again I may have to use another method." This time His voice was sterner and I understood the meaning behind them completely.

Over time, the shoe box has collected a few more pieces of paper that have words that I've now written in my heart as well. Each hurdle we've faced and later overcome has added to the contents of the box. Every strip of paper taught so much more than a stripe on my flesh. They remain to teach again and again those lessons and I'll always treasure the shoe box gift from a true master, my Master.

Copyright in 1997 by Lord Colm and jade

It bears repeating again:

If you are interested in getting to know Me, then you need to make an effort. Do not expect Me to wait around while you decide if you wish to talk to Me again or if you are going to chase someone else and then tell Me about 1 week or 2 later when I "finally" catch up with you. Do not expect Me to want you as a freind if you are going to act like that.

If you want a Man to treat you like an equal, then be willing to treat Him like an equal.

You Come Too Late

I wish I had found this when a few ladies decided that they were going to come back and try to start a freindship with Me after vanishing to have their fun with others and ignored and left Me to wonder. I would gladly send this to them, but oh well.

You come too late.
My need for you has gone;
For I have triumphed over time and pain.

And learned of sorrow how to stand alone

And smile and face the world again.

My soul the wine, my heart the broken bread.

You feasted lightly and as lightly went,
and left me here with something in me dead.

My life is empty now and cleansed of grief;

I rise again - the pride of life is strong,

And in the place of love and old belief,

Courage goes marching with a merry song.

Come in, my friend, but do not hope to find

A trace of anything you left behind.

- George Pink Robertson

The road is a dark and silent one

I travel it alone. The road is far from straight and true. It rises to the highest and clearest plains and drops down into the deepest, darkest forest.

I journey to find the one. The one who brings Me peace and happiness. The one that I may one day look at with My last breath as I cross over.

Many distracts have crossed My Path, all have claimed to have been the one. Many have the look, the eyes or the body. All speak the words, but none live the words. Each one, I give My attention to and open My arms to welcome them.

Each one has failed one test after another. There are those who wish to have several in line. There are those who pretend. There are those who meerly put on the paint. In the end the rains of Truth, washes away and reveals their true being.

Each one strives to be unique and seperate, but I know that is not the Way.

I gather My things and travel on.

Searching for the one.

Ladies the reverse happened to Me with a woman in My life. What would you do if this was done to you?

If a man was to tell A woman that He cares for her, tells her that He wants her and that He wishes to grow closer to her and then vanishes for several months, only to return saying that He was involved with another woman, should the first woman trust Him again? Should the first woman take the risk to have any type of relationship with Him? Should the woman believe that He will not disrespect her again by not tell her the truth? What should she do? What should He do to convince her that He is for real this time?

I could never trust her again. Once she said that she was involved with someone else and could not even tell Me the truth, I beleive that she would do it over and over again. no sense in taking any chances. Better to just end it and walk away. Find someone else who can respect Me enough to say that they are involved with someone else and not keep Me as a form of back up.

If a woman states that she is interested in relocating, then why say that you are not interested in a LDR? Unless your profile CLEARLY states that you are only interested in those from your state, you will receive inquires from other states. Please think about it and change your profile if you do not want to talk to those outside of your state.

I am not interested in talking to anyone who is involved with or considering another Person's Collar. I will not play with someone who is considering another Person's colar. I did not think that I would have to say that, but such is the case.

If you are collared to someone OR you are considering someone's collar, be upfront about it. If you wish to play and you belong to someone, then state it CLEARLY. DO not say that you are free and then later tell Me you have their collar and that I have to talk to them (when before I did not have to).

Do not tell Me after you accept the collar. To Me that is as if you were playing Me and I do not and will not like it. I do not think someone would want that done to them. Then why do that to Me? Hmm?

The heart and soul is closed. Trust and Respect is something everyone will have to earn. I no longer give it freely.

"To Give respect freely is to know that it may or may not be returned freely. When you still give respect freely regardless, then you are the one that is truely Respected and Free. To hold back Respect is to hold back yourself from both having Respect and from being Free."

I just love it when people demand photos to see what you are and what you can do in the lifestyle. If you wish to have photos, there are sites out there. I am for real and will not just send photos out there. I am very much real time , real life. If you really want to get to know Me, then lets Meet over coffee. Anyone can come up with photos to send. What is real is how you both interract and relate. That is what is the measure of how things will be.

To My Future submissive/slave,

To have you in My servitude, is indeed an honor and a privilege. Your presence inspires Me. You give Me a purpose. Everything that I do each day would bring U/us closer. Your willingness to submit provides the energy and the focus to go beyond each day.

As your Teacher, I would strive to ensure that each day you are learning and growing. Not as an individual, but as part of something more. Something greater. I will ensure that you and I grow together as a team, each one complementing the other. With patience, I would guide you. Using My voice, I would support your wings so that you may fly. I would give you My complete and total mind, body and soul to help you and I to become the best that we can be.

I would do the little things that show you that you are My most cherished property. I would send you flowers for no reason. I would send you a card with nothing in it but My cologne. I would treat you to breakfast in bed as well as call in sick so that we can have a special day together. Everything I do or say, would show you that you mean the world to Me.

In order for this relationship to grow and blossom, it takes both parties being committed totally and honestly. Too many people enter a relationship with one foot out the door. I firmly believe that you have to give your entire mind, body and soul. There is no such thing as half pregnant. I believe that each day and night; we should re-focus our commitment to each other.

Every session should bring U/us closer and closer. Boundaries will be tested and expanded. Limits will grow and be re-defined. Have someone as precious as you, goes beyond the mere physical sessions, it goes much deeper than that. We would have deep conversations about all the various aspects of the Lifestyle. This will help U/us both learn and grow.

If you have dreams or passions that you with to live out either in the professional or personal world, I will support you in that endeavor. There is nothing that I would not help you strive for. I would expect no less from you with My dreams or passions.

Our evenings would be spent in as much quality time as possible. You seated at My feet or in each other?s arms. This would bring us closer and not just in a sexual sense either.

This is what I desire from My future submissive.

Action speak louder than words. So does inaction. If you are not really interested in someone, then do not act it. Do not hold them, hug them or get all kissy with them. It sends the wrong signs. Be honest and upfront. There is nothing worst than having someone do that to you and then they pull away and act like you do not exist. There is nothing more colder and ruder than that. Be honest upfront and everyone will be better for it. Someone lost a good freind becuase she could not be honest upfront and had to mis lead. One day she will learn, oh well.

The Hardest thing to do as a friend is tell someone that you value as a freind and as a possible submissive that they are really more interested in someone else, and that You see it clearly and that they should focus on them. I know what I told her is right, but I have to say that it was still not easy to do.

Sometimes being a Real Master is harder than it looks. This is one of those times that it really sucks to be honest and upfront.

Well one has to move on. With the help of a friend, the truth is clear to Me and I have to give the space and move on. Perhaps one day, things will be different and two can become one. Till that time, I live and just accept what I have to accept. Hard to have something as one with someone who is open to what the needs of one side is and not BOTH sides. Live and grow. That is all I can do.

This is the time to reach out and help those poor people in the flooded area. If you can give food, shelter, money to the Red Cross, please do.

Well the dungeon is now done....*S*? Now to find some willing submissives / slaves to test it out.? Still Need to pad the flogging bench...Maybe stain it a nice deep dark cherry red.

Give Me the kind of relationship that you find with ham and eggs. ? The pig knows what it means to be in one!

What is domination?? It is not over bearing, nor is it physical foce.? Domination is the applying of One's will and desires in conjunction with the submissive /? slaves will and desire to create picture of beauty , love, devotion and mutal respect. ? Domination is the art of listening and the true desire to go beyond just what one always wants but what works best for the "whole".? While everyone has their own view, this is just a snapshot of Mine. ? Time to get back to work....*S*

Part Two

Well I have that new life. Without her. I was not enough for her to focus only on Me. She felt trapped because she wanted to play as free as a bird in the summer breeze. I have the dream of a new job and she is not a part of it. The lies and half truths were too much. Listening to the various guys on here and outside of here, talk about her and what she did/ does was too much. Even when all was down and she creid out for help, I returned to her side only to be pushed away again. The song that I had in My heart has changed. Like the song Austin, I will love her, but I am no longer in love with her. She has to live her life the way she wants and I will live Mine the way I want.

She was quick to tell Me where I was wrong, to hold a grudge , never let go and move foward. She was quick to act Like I was more a submissive than a Dominant. All the while I stood there and give her My heart and she tossed it aside.

She could never really admit her mistakes without adding on How I was wrong and how it was Me that "forced" her to lie, cheat and play games. In the end My eyes were opened.

If someone can not love you and be there by yourside 100%, then do not waste your time. Move on ...leave them Behind. They will not learn to love you if they do not already.

Wise words from a wise old man

Part 1

Never give up everything for someone, if they can not do the same. Never give your heart to someone who can not do the same in return.

I gave up everything to come here and thought that I fond that one. Gave away all My personals, sold off My stuff for next too nothing. I walked away from someone who if I had stayed I could have started something with. Came down here with next to nothing, just a single load of stuff....all that I could fit in.

I came down here with a song, a prayer, a dream and hope. A song in My heart for someone special. A paryer that I would do everything humanly possible to be the ONLy one for her and focus ONLY on her. A dream of a new job and life together with someone that I knew for a long time as a freind and who I thought was really into Me as I was into her. The hope for a new life.

Life is like a bowl of jalapones, What you do today, may burn your ass? tomorrow.

God I hate liars. ? I would rather have someone tell Me the truth and hurt Me rather than lie to Me over and over. ? I trusted someone and in the end was lied to so many times.? I stood by someone when they were ill and when they were in their time of need. ? Now I have to say that I gave up so much for a player and a fake. ? We live and learn and now it is My turn.

One is never to old to learn about the? lifestyle.? Having a woman who is in her mid 50's asking about what is BDSm and what is it all about ....sounded sorta odd at first.? But as I talked to her, I discovered that she had a real interest and desire ( centered around a man of course ) so I gave her advice and a site to go to....I am sure you can guess *S*. ? So now I will be receiving her thoughts , comments and phone calls. ?? I just have to get her to slow down and not rush in before she learns a bit first.? I will try to keep everyone posted on this one.

I posted this on a different site and felt that it was interesting enough to share here:

I turned down a business idea ( a good one in My mind) becuase the person who wanted to be my partner in the business wanted to also mix sex in with it. Now this person is married (without their partner's knowledge). We have played before and stopped when I felt that her partner was catching on. Then this business idea came up and I said that we should focus on the business and getting it off the ground first, then we can have our fun. I figured that it would take about 3 weeks at most to see what it was going to do and then we can adjust from there. She was rather blunt in that she would not want to wait and have no sexual contact and that she sees no reason that we can not mix the two. I felt that it would not work and walked away ( she blames Me for doing that).

What do you think? Should I have just fucked and tried to work it out for a level of financial freedom even if that means there is more sex then actual business? What would YOU have done? How would you handled it?

I know that married couples do run their own business, but they have a vested interested. It was not like we are married or the like....just fuck buddies....sorry to say. If we were married that would have been different.

The only response I got was a simple one:

business and pleasure, dont mix

simple and to the point I would think.

What kills a relationship?    Is it fighting? no. Is it leaving the seat up and she falls in some late night? no.   What kills a relationship: lies and the inablilty to trust.

If someone lies to you enough times and does the same thing over and over and over, it does not ut show you that they can not and will not change.   If they did once, we all make mistakes, but a third or fourth time?   Well there is a pattern here that even a blind man can see. Then the trust is gone

Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get back. The person who is not trusted, needs to accept that they messed up and that the other has the choice to leave or stay. Often times when the other party stays, they check up on everything. The one who destroyed that trust needs to accept this and work at building that trust. It often is a hard process and in many cases, it never comes back.   One only knows if one is committed to trying.

someone once said about a ham and egg breakfest, that the chicken is involved and the pig is committed. Think about it, all the chicken did was forfeit a few eggs. The pig forfeited its life. that is what a relationship is all about. The willingness to commit no matter what the cost.   It is not something to be taken lightly. You can not be half pregant or half dead so to speak.   You are either pregant or you are not. People who have to keep their opitions open will find that the other party will keep their opitions open right on out the door.

What kills a relationship? lies do. The inability to commit does. but what kills a relationship fastest? The ability to only see what one wants and not what is wanted by the relatioship. Serving ones self never help any team. Never did and never will

Well someone decided that they had to go their own way and do their own thing. ? Pity that they would not tell the truth and had to cover it with lies. ? But with ever cloud there is a silver lining, an gental breeze that brings a smile and warmth to a down spirit.? I am looking forward to explore more and more now.? What a sense of freedom.

Hmm sometimes One has to think and reflect on just how much the humn body and soul can handle. One has to ask themselves, what is a limit. One has to ask themsleves would they want the same if the tables were reversed.

Time for My bath.

DarkDomTx Male Dominant, 52, Amarillo, Texas	Darkbloodmaste Male Dominant, 27	darkknight40 Male Dominant, 45, lawsonville, North Carolina	DarkeWhisper Male Dominant, 52, Chicago, Illinois
DarkMasterMx Male Dominant, 29, Mexico City	DarkMasterMexi Male Dominant, 29, Mexico City	DarklordNolan Male Dominant, 18, Portland, Oregon	Darkestofheart Male Dominant, 54
dark Male Dominant, 37, los angeles, California	Darkcad Male Dominant, 48	daredevil Male Submissive, 24, southampton	darknruff1 Male Dominant, 33, Los Angeles, California

DarkPhoenix

About DarkPhoenix

(1)Albert Einstein(1879-1955) (2)Martin Luther King, Jr.(1929-1968) (3)César Chavez (1927-1993)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez (1927-1993)

(1)Albert Einstein(1879-1955) (2)Martin Luther King, Jr.(1929-1968) (3)César Chavez (1927-1993)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez (1927-1993)

(1)Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)

(1)Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)

(2)Martin Luther King, Jr.
(1929-1968)

(3)César Chavez
(1927-1993)