i hope the everyone has a Merry Christmas. Those that are able to spend their day with family and friends cherish the moments and remember those that are not as fortunate as you and have neither. 

Merry Christmas everyone.

Just need to get through this weekend and next week then i can enjoy an actual weekend off...i am taking the days off to de-stress..i think i have earned it..not going to make any plans just see what happens..probably just stay home and relax and catch up on some much needed sleep....maybe

i don't know what the day will bring...but i hope the day is so good it turns into better tomorrows.

there comes a time when you need to step back, take a breath and find a focus point to keep you looking straight instead of back.

If you want to try to catch someone's eye then maybe you should at least attempt to put something on your profile that is of interest. Profiles are a start is letting someone get a glimpse of who and what you are and what you are seeking. Blank pages are boring and are often passed by. 

When sending emails to someone that you want to converse with something besides "hello you seem interesting" might help. 

Give the a little get a little..give nothing get nothing. 

Could all the clueless  men who have no idea what it means to be a Dominant and are here in hope of getting laid please state that in their profile..i am sure it would make it easier for all the other clueless people to find them. This way it will help all the true Dominants and true submissives out as well...that way we can just skip over your profile and save precious time...call it your good deed of the day :)

Just for the record since my profile seems not to be clear enough..i am NOT in any way shape or form looking for a submissive either male or female. It seems that many male subs do not know how to read because i keep getting mail from them asking if i am looking for a slave...well it is either they can't read or they are pretty desperate they will troll anyone...

i have lived in Arizona since June and have not done much but work. i have not played "tourist" and gone anywhere or learned much about Phoenix. i have decided that i really need to go out and meet people and see the sights. i need to start going out and doing things and start having a life again.  Now to break out of my shell and start having fun again.....

i hope E/everyone has a safe New Year's Eve celebration and that 2012 brings lots of joy and positive things to all. 

Happy New Year :)

i have been restless the last few days....hasn't passed like usual. can't find anything that seems to work in calming me down..i need a release...i am pretty sure the right release would do me wonders..if only i could find a way to make it happen *sigh*

When did being a submissive mean we were just about being something to spank and fuck? What ever happened to a submissive/slave (whatever you want to call us) serving our Owner? What happened to getting pleasure out of taking care of Him? Everyone wants to talk about the kinky sex or spanking or how great their tongue is...Not that all that isn't good but when one wants to talk about taking care of One or seeing to His needs they seem lost like what they are hearing is a foreign language to them. Has all the internet mumbo jumbo taken away from the serving side of it? If so it is a shame...or at least i think so.  

You are or you aren't. It's up to you to decide what and who are you.

Just because it is the holiday season and it's all about sharing i thought i would share an email exchange i had with a "domly" one. i have omitted the name to protect the uhm mentally challenged domly one. :)

1st email sent by the domly one:

hi. interested? 

my reply:

well i am interested in a lot of things to what do you refer to?

domly one's next email:

in me.

my reply:

uhm well no should i be? and if so why?

domly one:

yes you should be because i am a dom.

my reply:

oh you are. goodness how could i not have noticed. silly me. but even so still don't see why i should be. 

domly one: 

your a smart ass i see

my reply:

yup and i paid good money for this smart ass. the state of florida's higher education system does not come cheap ya know. 

domly one:

you lack discipline

my reply:

yes i have been told that before. so uhm is that what makes you so domly you can come to that conclusion so fast? i'm almost impressed

domly one:

so are you interested? 

my reply:

nah can't honestly say that i am interested in your lack of mental stimulation i think i'll go back watching the dry paint dry it is a lot more interesting. but i do wish you well in your fruitful search. 

wow does he really think him being a oh so domly one will make someone interested in him. there must be more then meets the eye on that one..maybe i should rethink things.....

ok rethought them still not interested.....Next  :)

i read a profile tonight of a Dominant and in His profile He posed the question of what gives me the right as a slave to demand anything from a Dominant. i have the right to do so because i am the one who is putting my life into Your hands. i have a right to demand that You are worth that risk. i have the right to demand things of You until a) i can trust that You are who You claim to be and b) until i know that my life is safe in Your hands. i am the one who is going to beg You to put Your hands around my throat and squeeze until i feel like i can no longer breath. i am the one who is going to get beat by You. if i did not demand things of You then a) i could end up dead or b) i could end up beaten so badly it will take the doctor hours to fix me back up. Damn straight i have a right to demand things of you until i feel safe and trust You. my life is what gives me the right to demand things of You, of myself and anyone else i risk myself with. 

If you don't mean it ...don't say it

If you mean it...say it.

 Why do people bother to say things they know they truly do not mean. i mean what is the point, doing so only makes you into a liar. i can't speak for everyone but most people i know how no use for a liar.

Being told the truth hurts less then being lied to.

Just for the record:

 if You don't own me i don't need Your permission to do anything.

if You don't own me You can't give me orders.

if You don't own me You can't punish me.

if You don't own me You don't control me.

if You don't own me i am not going to bend over backwards for You. 

Just because You have a capped nickname on Collarme.com does not make You the ultimate Dominant that us with uncapped nicknames have to listen to.  Just because i don't submit to You within 20 seconds of first talking to You does not make me a Switch, troll, Domme or someone who tops from the bottom. But honestly thanks for showing me how You really are that fast so that i don't waste my time and can move on to One who is more deserving of it.

LOL i thought i heard it all...until now. i had a "Dominant" say that being dominant was about having his cock sucked and his nuts licked whenever he wanted..MMMMM funny how i know a few Dominants and i have never heard Them say that. Guess it's the weak collarme dominants who think that is what it is about. 

i have finally made it to Arizona and am slowly getting settled. Start work the week after next so have time to find my way around. will be glad when i find my own place and get my stuff here and all moved in, but nice to have a place to lay my head until that time. 

Starting on my long road trip in a few days..definately looking forward to the move just wish there was not so much to do still in just a few days..need more time. New job is waiting so will find a way to get it all done..might be bald by the end of it all but will be worth it. 

Yeah...a new job starting in June, a move to Arizona..a new start all around. It is a much needed new start, one i am very much looking forward to. 

i have always wondered why people add you to their favorites list but never contact you. seems, i don't know, pointless. unless of course they are hoping the person they add will contact them but wouldn't it be better if they contacted the person? just curious, because for me, i don't feel it is my place to approach a Dominant. i think that is being pushy and rude. but that is just me...i don't think like the norm most of the time. i wouldn't walk up to a Dominant at a party or any place, unless of course i didn't know they were a Dominant, but then again i wouldn't walk up to anyone like that. i would wait until i was approached or asked to approach...

vacation is wonderful...now to find a reason to stay in Arizona...

Just a few more days and i am on the airplane off to 9 days of dog sitting and away from the stresses of work......a much needed vacation...arizona here i come...

the spark was stirred...

the flame started small...

the flame grew....

the flame burns bright and strong....

Well i tried to convince myself i could walk away from this lifestyle. That i was not really submissive that i did not want to be owned and that i could handle being in control. Silly me for thinking such things. i can't..i hate being in control, i am submissive, i just can't be submissive to just Anyone, but that does not make me any less submissive then i am. i don't have to be submissive with everyone no matter what others may do i don't have to be them to be me. 

i want to slip into His arms my eyes looking into His showing Him my desire..showing my need..trusting without a doubt..under His control..embraced in His power..going to those places only He will be able to take me...

He will discover me and thru Him i will discover all there is for me to be...