DalisDream

Female Dominant, 25, Buffalo, NY, New York

Male Dominant, 39, Corona, California

Female Submissive, 25

Before going any further it is important to talk about Trust. Trust and communication are key to training. Trust is given by both Master and artist. Trust is not knowing and hoping. To give trust to something you know will be an amazing outcome is not really trusting at all. That is knowing. Trust requires faith and hope that what you are trusting will work and at times people let us down sometimes over and over. Trust is the great healer in hoping the best in all people. Trust cant be earned Trust is freely given. Trust is earned when trust is no longer needed. The Artist deserves to know what her Master expects of her and how he intends to train her. The artist slave trusts her Master will do his absolute best to train her and the Master trusts that she will do her absolute best to dedicate herself to the lessons and time invested in her. Both will fail and both will succeed at different times it is important that both freely give trust over and over. Do not abuse trust when trust is broken it can be easy to secretly be trained to abuse grace this will erode the relationship. Do not abuse giving trust. Giving trust gives you no authority as a slave or a Master. It is a free gift that does not brag. Remember when trust is broken and you restore it that soon you may break trust as well. Trust is not a bank. Do not keep a tally. Be patient and kind of both sides of Trust. The Artist must be open with her trainer and not withhold secrets, this requires trust. A lack of openness is a major cause of failure in a lifestyle relationship. A lack of openness gives the slave secretive power, inner controls, it erodes at trust and gives a false sense of submission. This is present in coy behavior, shyness, being cute, overly literal there are several forms that defense mechanisms can be expressed however the end is the same, a Major flaw and wall that interrupts the Master/slave dynamic. The focus of an artist should be on being naked vulnerable and honest rather then avoidance tactics. If a submissive is unwilling to open up her emotions and innermost thoughts to her Master, then she is not ready for training. Slavery requires the Artist to give her freedoms to her Master. she is her Master's property. In short, she is owned by her Master, but has no ownership of him. Serving, pleasing and obeying are the foundations of an artistry in slavery. An Artist is no longer independent from her Master or his will. she is subject to whatever control he wishes to exert over her. There is an exchange with this power in that a Master now must care for her needs as a leader, he becomes responsible for her all areas that have been submitted to him. For example if she has asked to submit to him her clothing choices then he must be aware that this is not just in the bedroom, he may need to become aware of what actually pleases him and learn how to communicate this effectly. How do you want your slave to dress daily while running errands around town? How do you want her to dress for a company function? How do you want her to dress for a casual dinner with friends? If she asks to submit her emotional well being a Master may choose to act as a counselor of sorts or use a professional therapist if needed. Wherever there is a submission given there is a responsibility inherited. As a submissive moves into the artistry of being a slave they begin to submit more and more of themselves to you. It is important to be prepared for what that means. 1.2 Are you ready to move forward? Artist Are you willing to be open? Are you willing to be self aware and seek out vulnerability rather then avoidance? Are you willing to speak your hesitations and be willing to submit them? Are you willing to open your emotions and innermost thoughts? Master Can you be an unbiased judge with what you have been given? Are you capable of bettering yourself in order to further lead another? If the answer is no to any of the above consider what it is you want from pursuing an artistry in slavery.

These are my thoughts and views and are more for me to organize my beliefs. They are not meant to be a guideline for anyone in the lifestyle or for anyone to read and presume I am being an authority on how D/s or BDSM works for them or anyone. This is an attempt to organize 15 years of reading, observing, experiencing, failing and succeeding, ?This is also not any kind of official documentation and for those of you that find grammar to be a turn on, well you will be turned off. These are just notes some are from me and some are sources I have found. If there happens to be a lovely assistant/slave/submissive grammarian that would enjoy serving by editing, feel free to send a note. I have different ways of viewing service or servitude. A slave can bring me a dinner and be serving me and I could bring the slave the exact same dinner having them sit in the exact same spot and I?m mastering them. It is all about the intent, behavior, attitude and motives behind the actions. The captain of a boat may serve the boat better then any of the crew he has hired to serve the boat. In being a Master or a slave there is a mastery. A Master masters who the slave is and leads the slave and the relationship in ways that benefit the relationship. A slave serves the Master by adapting to the Masters needs and in a way mastering the Master from a slaves perspective. In the end neither can truly master the other but are honing their craft as a slave and as a Master both Mastering their roles with the person they are with. You begin to see both slave and Master learning to empty of themselves and look through each others eyes to understand needs, wants, desires and goals in life. A Master nurtures the slave and the slave cares for the Master. In this intimacy of truly knowing one another there is an artistry. I see both as artists and therefore I refer to the slave as an artist. The Master is also an artist but I have chosen out of personal preference to retain the term Master for that role. I have adapted many different styles of modeling slavery to my principles. I enjoy the concepts of bondservants verses slaves. I also like modern structures seeing slaves as applicants then trainees and then slaves. As I have grown and changed and experienced success?s and failures I have developed some ways of being and beliefs that work for me. I see slave artists fulfill many attributes of being and life. They submit their behaviors, emotions, thoughts and senses to the Master in hopes that the Master will correctly lead them in ways that the artist can learn to serve. A good first lesson for any Master or artist is to understand the key words they use; Submit, Dominant, Master, Slave Sub?mit verb (used with object) 1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively). 2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence. 3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision?of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application. 4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually followed by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required. verb (used without object) 5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror. 6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy. 7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment. ? dom?i?nate /'d?m ??ne?t/ Show Spelled [dom-uh-neyt] Show IPA verb, -nat?ed, -nat?ing. verb (used with object) 1. to rule over; govern; control. 2. to tower above; overlook; overshadow: A tall pine dominated the landscape. 3. to predominate, permeate, or characterize. verb (used without object) 6. to rule; exercise control; predominate. 7. to occupy a commanding or elevated position. ? Mas?ter /noun 1. a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something: a master of six languages; to be master of one's fate. 2. an owner of a slave, animal, etc. 3. an employer of workers or servants. 4. the male head of a household. 5. a person eminently skilled in something, as an occupation, art, or science: the great masters of the Impressionist period. EXPAND 6. a person whose teachings others accept or follow: a Zen master. 8. a worker qualified to teach apprentices and to carry on a trade independently. ? slave /noun 1. a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant. 2. a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person: a slave to a drug. 3. a drudge: a housekeeping slave. () . For simplicity and to bring together several beliefs and concepts there is Master/Slave which is about authority exchange this style of relationship occurs outside of the bedroom and involves inner belief structures and full exposure to power exchange. Dominant/Submissive this is more of a temporary Power exchange. Temporary can be days but in the end it is an exchange of power and not authority over ones self or life. Top/Bottom This is a physical dominant and submissive exchange. There are of course other terms, Top, Bottom, Fetishist and so on. Then there is topping from the Bottom and Bottoming from? the top. As long as there is honest communication and understanding then people often get more then they actually want. It can be very rewarding to know yourself and communicate without guile your inner desires to find a complimentary partner. I have met many submissives/slaves that have bemoaned that they were told by everyone they were secretly dominant and they didn?t see it. It is much like the world is crazy and I am the sane one. It may be that they are submissive but just don?t know how and so the go to is to dominate. Even communicating and knowing that much about yourself will make your journey so much easier with your search or current partner. Whether a person is a Top a bottom a slave/artist a Master or even vanilla there are universal principles in all relationships. People have values and from those values comes desired ettiquites and protocols.? Every person alone or in a couple has desired and undesirable behaviors and emotions or thoughts. When people talk about training I have found often times it refers to kink or some basic protocols or Etiquette. I?m of course not speaking of advanced people in the lifestyle but rather people experimenting or learning. I have heard sub missives complain or challenge about what training means. ?what does it mean when they say they want to train me?? I believe training comes in several parts there is ofcourse the bedroom with ropes and sexual desires, there is also protocol and ettiquite as well as Behaviorl training. Behavioral training alone is not enough to train an artist: her emotions, self-image and thoughts must also be part of the training process.?? I want to focus in on the more intimate stylings of behavioral training as this is what I find important to me. A Master is responsible for setting training goals and reinforcing the motivations to complete the goals.??? Before he can properly training an artist, he must understand himself and what he wants from an artist.? A Master should have a well defined concept of slavery and training in order to properly?train her. In essence an artist will be serving and adapting to a Master so he must know what it is he wants, how to communicate that and how to continue to learn and grow so he can continue to teach and nurture his slave.? Each Artist is considered unique and requires different methods and focuses to correctly train.? There is no one set of training methods that are best for every artist.? The best training method looks at each Artist and prepares a training program for her.? So a Master should be at least familiar or willing to read up on different methods for training. Even basics of training. Some people learn visually, or through reading. Some people are motivated by rewards. Knowing yourself and what you want and then knowing your slave and how to nurture that is key. I have found a great way to do this is by actually being vanilla. Spending a lot of time with no pressure to develop a natural relationship. This typically disarms roles and allows you to see the areas that need encouragement and the other areas that may need to be molded for a better Master/slave relationship. An Artist becomes an Artist ONLY through the efforts of her Master.? They do not come off a website with a map to your mind and desires. Most often the training of the slave and the Master is the same it?s a game called Read my mind I don?t know what I am thinking. Or I have know real idea what I want but I know I want it. ?An Artist must receive? proper guidance and direction,? discipline training, praise for correctly following instructions, and real punishment not just the fun stuff.???? The best slaves are the ones that have been clearly shown, by their Masters,? how they expect the slaves to serve them.?? 1.1? Exercise Who are you and what do you want? Write out what you want as a slave or as a Master. You don?t need to have all the answers just explore yourself and think of what you want in yourself and your partner.

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