cutew

Hey there...well about me, I am who I am, cutew stands for cute whore (which they wouldn't let me use??)

First off I could write lots, about who I am, and what this life means to me, but I find most don't seem to read the long version of a profile, they read the age, sex, and role...sigh. (OK, didn't keep it short)

First off, I am slave, I give myself to Him, for the reason...it is what I need to feel fulfilled in life. It makes up one side of a giving and taking relationship...but as I give to Him, it fulfills me, and yes fulfills Him because He needs to get what I have to give. A selfish reason, bringing unselfish acts because it is what I need, how I do it, and what fulfills my part of the relationship.

That said, other important information, I am also many other things in life...Doormat is not one of them! But mother, is the most important, next would be school in my life, I have returned school to upgrade, in hopes of better job abilities, and I know it maybe a long road, to get what I want, but I am enjoying it ;-).

I am separated from my husband (my choice there), live with my children. I am also Owned, I have been for many years, the arrangement was perfect and still is in many ways...I love and adore Master, I am very proud to be His property. Master now and then looks for those to use his property, due to the fact that, he lives a great distance from me.

My lifestyle though, as I stated, I am slave, and not a doormat. I maybe shy and a bit naive, but I am not a doormat. I don't believe every one has the same level, need or wants out of relationships, be it this lifestyle or even vanilla world. For me I am who I am, and I do know who I am. I am very loyal, honest, open, non-judgemental, loving, and submissive.

I believe every thing needs to be tried twice in order to honestly know if you like it or not!

I believe my part of such a relationship is to give and be all He needs. To give Him the control, to give Him my fears, worries, limits, and above all the ability and trust to allow Him to make the choices, that are in both our best interests. That one said, understand, I will make sure that morals, values, and hard limits we both view the same before entering such a relationship, I will not impose my limits on Him, but I will make sure that we both have the same limits to start with…most of the hard limits I have, are standard, such….as must be breathing….legal age……no Scat. As well, the only one that truly has the right to permanently mark my body is me!

I by no means am quite, I have the need to be able to speak my mind, always respectfully, because I know choices are His to make, and I would want it no other way. However, I need the openness of voicing opinions and yeah even at times debating the logic of choices. It can be very hard at times, to fulfill orders, commands, or such, when you don't always fully understand them, or why. IF I fear that harm may come because of following, I may not follow, as I should. As stated always respectful and always logical, although at times, emotional due to fears or past or ??. I don't keep such things to myself, for I believe in not being honest and open about such things with Him, I could be setting Him up to make the wrong choices, for the two of us...and this is just wrong. It is a power exchange, not a lay down, roll over and play dead. I do speak my mind, but also know when to hold my tongue, for the most part!

I don't understand completely "time-outs" to talk because my belief is that each is equal in many ways, but due to personalities, that work together, a relationship is formed based on giving and taking of control. Slave needs to give, because it is what fulfills her most...for me having the rules, structure, knowing what is expected, and what is needed, being given to me, is a freedom and joy beyond any thing else that could be felt in this world, it completes me. I have never been on the other side of this lifestyle, but my understanding it works the other way around too, different but the same, as taking these things, completes Him.

Trust is built, block-by-block, growing deeper and more meaningful, as time passes.

Respect is always a part of any interaction with others! It should always be present, why bother if even small amounts of respect aren't there? Respect however is a two way street, being built upon as well.

Openness and honesty is always present, else nothing can grow if these are not there leading the way.

Acts, activities and sex, are parts many can relate with, pain, pleasure, and the rest, yet these are simply acts, the true fulfillment comes from giving the control of your body, mind and heart over to Him, to allow Him to do what He wishes with you, to trust Him to do such things. IT doesn't come from the act and physical but from the mental bond between the two, which allows for such things to bring both pleasure and fulfillment.

I am sane by my standards...last, I checked. This word along with others, are words that do not hold the same meaning for every person on this planet. Vanilla would think me insane because I have the desire, to feel the whip landing on me, feel needles as they go straight through my nipples and the simple fact that I love wearing His marks on my body, be it bruises, welts, or such, they are from Him, and an honour for me to wear them. I think this is sane, but many would see it as insane behaviour...LOL, yet it is a lack of understanding on their part. I think Sane should be changed to Controlled; IF He is in control of His emotions, actions, and reactions, than what is agreed on and happens between the two, is sane!

Safe, well I guess so, but then again who's standards of safe am I using? This term is in the eye of the beholder, and people. IS it safe when in knife play to actually cut even mildly through the skin? Answer for me no, it isn't...being diabetic, my body doesn't heal properly for such things, and my health could be at risk...YET this is my body, not the one next to me. Is it safe to leave my hands cuffed when after feeling they are cold, no other sign, of issues being caused by the cuffs themselves...YEP, because my hands and feet always run cold, even without cuffs on ;-). Yet again, safety depends on the people. However, these items related only to play area's there are many area's of safety, such as mental that are the same, based on the people involved. STD’s does this fall in the area of safe? I think so, and I am tested fairly regularly.

Consenting, Well every one can agree on this, (I would think). For me consent, is simple, I agree I am His to do with as He pleases, His property! I am His to do with as He pleases, even saying no, (can't remember doing that one) He has the right to do as He wishes, the only thing I truly ever would wish the choice in, is if I serve Him or not. If I say NO, He still had the ability to do as He wishes with me, it would be His choice, to stop, or continue. This is the control I consent to give over to Him! On the other side of that, it is my responsibility to make sure He knows why I said no, and have good judgement in who I have picked to know that if I make Him aware something would be harmful to me, mentally, or physically, He wouldn’t do it, but always His choice!

Another one to point out here, wants, needs and desires are different things ;-). Understanding there is a difference between these three things is also very important. Needs should be always be meet, not just mine but His too, (giving and taking). Wants and desires, can be looked at as the same, yet, there is a subtle difference between them. I want to feel His use and abuse (MEANT in a healthy way), yet I could also desire to feel these things from another, too. But the WANT first and foremost is to feel them from Him.

I have been called many things since finding that missing part of who I am, it has always been there, always a part of me. Took me many years, mistakes, and trails but I have finally realized and accepted who I am. Forever I will be thankful for those that helped me fill the void in my soul, by teaching and guiding me they have helped me become who I am. I have been called a pain-slut, whore-slave, cum-slut, Oh many of them, I don't know what is best suited for me, but I know, it doesn't matter to me, as long as I please Him. I am both slave and whore; I don’t believe the two are the same, actually. They can be used together, yet they are different as well, no matter the Master I have, I will always crave to be with others, yet, His rules will allow or disallow this, and thanks to His rules, I can be who I am.

I have a true interest in the points of view of punishment and correction, because I know mine don't seem to fit with the “norm”. I strive to be all He needs and wants; yet, no person is perfect (not even Masters)! I believe my points on this topic come from past but as well how I have been trained too. Pain is for pleasure, and pleasure only! I do find I enjoy pain, yet even that I can’t physically enjoy personally, I do experience pleasure from knowing He is pleased. Acts are just that, the mental bond is far more important. There is a difference between correction and punishment. Enjoying pain, it has NEVER been used to correct or punish me. To be honest I have never been punished, I have been corrected over the years for things I have done wrong, always verbal. Those that have had control over me, have always understood, that all they need to is talk to me about my mistakes I will not repeat them! IF perchance I have repeated them, it was due to not understanding…I give all I can, and plus some. To talk about mistakes, and know He understands, forgives the mistake, knowing I will strive with every part of who I am, to not repeat the mistake, is all the correction and punishment I would ever need, or truly except. Again spanking, whipping or anything else is for pleasure…Good girls get played with, is always what I have been taught.

These are some of the basics for me. I enjoy life, looking for new friends. I love to learn; I believe there is always something that one can learn. I am not sure what the future holds, but I look forward to all that life has to offer, and look forward to the day that I finish school too...As I stated friends, life can get the best of one, and very busy, I have found there have been long weeks around here that I am not even able to get to mail, let alone this site, but I always come back, when things settle down again ;-).

If you got here, thanks for reading, I am always open for further chatting, so please do write if you are interested. And YES, I have Master's permission to be here, and talk with those I wish to talk with...although I do have a few minor rules to follow such as no pictures with my face in them, and I do let Him know who I am talking with, although this is just peace of mind for Him to know that I am safe.