CuddleBug86

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I have realized over the past few days that I want a Daddy that at least semi-close to my age. I need a Daddy who I can introduce to my family as my BF since they disapprove of this lifestyle. I need a Daddy that is in the 20-38 age range. I don't need someone who is old enough to be my actual dad. I know there are some really good and experienced older Daddys out there and this is nothing against you(s) at all, but being in a relationship with someone is older just simply won't work for me.

Is that bad?

Will anyone ever want me?? Will I ever be loved and cherished for who and what I am and not asked to change?? I know I am a handful. I am sorry. But for you to say that the whole lifestyle and that fact that I am a little is "very sick and disgusting" is uncalled for! 

I already have trust issues... after this... I don't know if I'll ever trust another human being being as long as I live. I just want a Mommy and Daddy to love me for the little that I am and to tell me that I am special and make me feel like I am. I am not sick and disgusting!!!! ..... Am I???? :-/

For someone that was my Daddy to tell me "I have given this a lot of thought. I can not do the whole bdsm/little thing. its too creepy. i do not think any part of the bdsm "lifestyle" is healthy in any way. and i can not be a part of it. i am not by any means a prude when it comes to sex but that lifestyle is just wrong. i have always viewed the people in to it as very sick and in need of serous mental help. if you want to continue with it fine but I want nothing to do with it." That does a lot of damage to a little one's psyche... :-/ I am damaged goods... who is gonna want me now? Will anyone help me fix myself and mend my broken heart??? pwease???

Finding the right Mommy and Daddy for me is VERY important and I think it goes way past looks and kinks. I'll tell you why...

I'm EXTREMELY SHY when it comes to the "little" subject or anything dealing with it because I have had to hide it for so many years. I always knew I was a little girl at heart. but because I was overly concerned about the way people would perceive me if I openly pursued my dream of being a little girl, I hid it and stuffed my little side waaaaayyyy down deep inside so people would think I was "normal" and like me. Well, I have come to realize that doing that is causing me more harm than good. I am miserable being "big" all the time and not getting to do all the things that my little self is begging to do... go to the park and swing on swings, feed duckies in a pond, coloring while watching cartoons, drinking from baby bottles, use pacifiers (or sucking my thumb), having tea parties with my stuffies, wearing and using diapers, etc... everything my "little" girl side wants to do, I refuse to let her do, because I am afraid I will look "weird"

Well, gulps I have decided its time to try and change that, but I need your help. pweeease... I need a Mommy and Daddy that will help encourage things that I'm scared to do on my own and feel embarrassed or feel ashamed about. I've been approached by lots of "Daddys" but not really any "Mommys". That makes me sad. . It's so hard to find the right person. Most seem too power hungry or just plain clueless. its hard to find one that's just right for me. Someone who wants someone to depend on them and make them feel needed. Someone who can give you that look and make you smile in my little girl head space then give you butterflies feeling truly like your a little girl and there's there's nothing wrong with that! Someone who makes me feel like there's no where else in the world I'd rather be then in their arms safe from everything.

I'm willing to offer attention, affection, love, hugs, kisses, respect, honesty, attachment AND CHOCOLATE (gasps me share chocolate?! Did I just say that?!?!) to the right person. Also I pinkie promise be the cutest little girl I can be and there will be cute moments that can make the Mommy and Daddy feel like shes and he in control and like a Mommy and Daddy should be. They make all the rules right down to what outfit I'd wear (because I might put it on backwards sometimes!) crosses eyes and sticks out tongue They can feed me lunch, cuz if they don't it might consist of chocolate, chocolate, and even more chocolate!

I'd respect all of their rules because I don't want to be a bad little girl and get in trouble. Nope, nope, NOPE! shakes head But sometimes might test them a little bit just to see how far they will let me go before I get that look where I might be a sad little girl if I keep it up. But testing limits/boundaries is part of being a little girl, isn't it?

I am sick and tired of lying and hiding who I truly am... a little girl. I don't want to feel like I'm lying to myself or hiding myself anymore!! Nope! I want someone who can encourage me to feel happy and be myself no matter what it is. pretends to look through binoculars Mommy? Daddy? Are you out there somewhere over the rainbow?????

I am considering leaving the lifestyle. I love it and I don't want to leave it, but I don't think I am ever gonna find what I am truly looking for so what's the point of even being here?

I am looking for a man to call my Daddy who first and foremost is a good man, and then he is a good Dom or Daddy. A man who is not gonna just use my body for his pleasure and then decide to discard me like a piece of garbage. I am already running on fumes of self esteem, and I don't need some jackass to make it worse, by saying all the right things and luring me in just enough to get what he wants and thats it, he's done with me. I am a little girl with a big heart that is broken, bruised, and bleeding, and yet people still seem to try their hardest to break it even more. I want a Daddy who loves me for me, despite all my flaws and shortcomings, someone who take my hand and guide me and teach me to overcome, not someone who will make my struggles harder to deal with. I just wanna be loved and taken care of, why is that so hard for people to understand?!

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me! I won't let it happen again, I won't! I refuse My walls are up and it is going to be a long while before they even start to come down again, so if you message me, and I seem cold and/or heartless, please understand that I am just very guarded right now. I am looking for someone who is actually willing to put forth the time and effort to break through this walls, but I am seriously starting to doubt I will ever find that person.

Someone wise just told me, "99% of the men you'll meet here are coming at a relationship cock-first." That makes me sad, but I know its true, I just hope one day I can find one who isn't.

Why are all so-called "daddies" liars? Why can't I find one who will love me?! Just when I think I have found one, he rips my heart out and stomps on it!!!! Why is this little one so unlovable??? Why is it so unrealistic to actually say what you mean and mean what you say when a Dom says "I want you to be mine?" :'( What the hell is wrong with me? Why does no one want me???!!! Instead of "where have all the cowboys gone?" I am thinking, "where have all the decent, genuinely caring Doms gone" the ones who are grounded in reality and strive to be a good man and then be a good Dom? Why do they think they can treat me anyway they want to just because I am a "little" girl? Why do they insist on playing with my heart, mind, and emotions? IT IS NOT FAIR!!!! :'( I am beginning to wonder if this whole lifestyle thing is for me... I love it and would hate to leave it, but I don't know how much hurt my heart can take. :'(