couleurbelle

Female Switch, 40, Cumberland County, Maine

Sorry I am not very active on this site.  Honestly I don't know what to to do when submissives send me requests. How to react? Things I've learned about myself recently: I'm not ready for a relationship. I know shit about the BDSM community. Though, I would like to be in a relationship again one day, I guess I'm taking time for myself. And I truly want to integrate myself more into my local community. It just seems hard to talk to anyone without it turning into something weird. I suppose it just takes a long time in order for me to be attracted to someone. So can I not just plainly talk about sex and satisfaction with people without them trying to get into my pants? That would be cool. I try to be self aware. I like the attention I get, rarely replying, from messages that say I'm beautiful, sexy, that they want me to do all sorts of things to them. Then again there is a sort of pressure to live up to a person's standard. I don't think I'm ready for that yet, haha. I need more real world experience I would think. Well this has just been a ramble... goodnight

I think its hilarious the amount of people who read my previous journal and read it as, "I WILL SEND YOU NUDES" AHAHAHA laughing my ass off. I posted the one picture, because I really do love that picture of myself, and I think if yall are so hungry for nudes, fucking there. there it is. That would be the extent of what I would send you ahaha. In my journal I was more worried about how my face is shown from many angles and also WITH my body. like, I live in the city, and I tend to run into people Ive seen over and over again. So I'm definitely sure someone would be able to recognize me. fuck if they havent already lol (fucking myself over with this statement but oh well) I dont believe nudity is that big a deal. I really just see bodies as bodies, and I dont get off on nudity. Its really easy to google "tiddies" so dont ask me for pics, theres so much fucking porn out there, my vagina isnt special. lmao. I think the idea that someone could get off to any pics or media i send them is amusing.. but I wont just send you shit cause you ask.

Sometimes I get a little concerned about how willing I am to send Pictures and Videos to random strangers on the internets. Who knows what they could do with it. Would it affect me negatively? The worst scenario I could think of is what if someone sold my dirty clips for monies. and here I am. getting jack shit, and just giving away my services practically for free. I am adorable. I should demand at least two consecutive pictures in a row of the person doing something like holding up a peace sign. Sometimes I dont care though. I can have lovely online experiences without knowing a persons face. however, I have been catfished before. And Id rather people be upfront about their appearance, Even if its not at first. And especially if I show my face? and other things?? whatever perhaps my opinion will always be a bit iffy... i will just have to trust and believe in people, and give them the benefit of the doubt, thst they wont do anything with the material i send them. besides show it to like, a friend or two lmao.

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