The speed at which a woman replies "nothing" to the question "what's wrong" is inversely proportional to the shit storm that is coming......

sometimes you just need a drink and a violent movie

why younger women like older men

http://www.broowaha.com/articles/3143/50-reasons-why-young-women-date-old-men

Somewhere there is an electric car going down the street towing a gasoline powered go cart in case it runs out of juice.

 If you think you have a stalker, how about the woman that called a man 178 times a day on the average, 65,000 times a year. There's always somebody in worse shape.....

Beginning the fifth set, Djokovic and Federer. Incredible tennis...watching the best. Why settle for anything less?

A woman goes into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. In a few minutes she sneezes causing her to moan, flush, and her eyes to roll into the back of her head. Bartender asks if she's ok. She replies yes. About 5 minutes later she sneezes again and has the same reaction. Again the bartender asks if she is ok. She says yes. 5 minutes later the whole thing happens again. This time the bartender grabs the phone to call for an ambulance thinking she is having seizures. She stops him and explains. "Everytime I sneeze I have a gut wrenching orgasm that I cannot control". The bartender says "that's horrible....what are you taking for it". She says....drumroll...."black pepper".

How lucky can a guy get? I avg 5 women all aged 23 standing 5ft 5inches tall and submissive looking at my profile every other day. Who knew I was that irresistible to women in that demographic?

Lordy, me thinks the list of dommes with a sense of humor is very short.

Long weekend in Oct is finally decided...Grand Cayman.

Never use these opening lines:

You're not nearly as ugly as they said you would be.

You don't sweat much for a fat woman.

I'll bet you could throw those tits up over your shoulders no problem.

No way that thing could fit up my ass.

You've always rode Harleys? They suck compared to a Honda.

Surely cum doesn't taste that bad.

Coming to Phoenix for 5 days middle of september. Phoenix is a 5 hour drive from everything to see in Arizona. What to do. Suggestions welcome

Anybody else get really aroused after exercising?

I wonder how many weiner jokes are going around. Now there's one less in Washington. Washington is a funny town. So many pricks and wieners and the only ones with balls are the women......

Somebody call the fashion police. I saw a dominatrix in a sexy black leather outfit wearing flip flops.....

What a perfect place for money dommes. How can you go wrong when the first line is "you don't know me but I want you to tie me up and piss on me".......is the economy that bad?

For those that complain about cock shots...think of it as potentially a historical event instead of a penis.

Weiner showed his weiner on the web. Glad to know there are some red blooded perverts we elected. It would be great if he resigned and a woman named Tits got elected....

Never play golf with a dominatrix.

A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples' alternate shot tournament at his club.

He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be fine."

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. Undaunted, the husband said "That's OK, Sweetheart" and spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. He found it just in time but in a horrible position. He played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet of the hole. He told his wife to knock the ball in.

His wife then proceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker. Still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and holed the shot from the bunker.

He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey five and that's OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole".

To which she replied, "Listen you turkey, don't bitch at me, only 2 of those 5 shots were mine."

Do we pay attention to our horoscope if we don't like it?

My favorite tweet of the day. "To Usama Bin Laden from Waldo......I win"

I got a new app for my phone, it is sounds to play as you go to sleep. Just select the sound and set the timer and you can be listening to anything from elevator music to crickets to rain and thunder. They need to make a special one of a woman orgasm......

What a crappy day. Had to evacuate house due to brush fire. Firefighters kicked ass though.

Happy day before IRS day when we have not worked enough yet this year to pay for 2011 taxes yet. Ain't that a bitch.

I never considered forced intoxication before. It was fantastic. Viagra, cock cage, and whiskey......I had no idea.

I thought I could be satisfied with vanilla and soft bondage, boy was I wrong. did I mention the hangover sucks?

You'd think the Dommes could unionize and get group discounts for viagra so the poor subs would be terminally erect.

The radiation is coming...the radiation is coming!!! OMG....I've never seen such nonsense out of people in my life. Its amazing we as a society can even function.

Whats up with all the pictures of dommes with that bitchy pouty look? Do y'all ever smile?

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..' 
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 
'No, I can remember it.' 
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' 
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. 
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' 
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment. 
'Where's my toast ?'

Wisconsin! Lets see, I provide 100% to my pension, company pays for my health insurance only and I have to pay for dependants. Teachers go on strike because of 5% of the pension and 12% of health ins! In the mean time 600 teachers on strike, schools closed, and the parents have to scramble to do something with their kids. That probably adds to their expenses. And I saw a sign that said "I'm doing this because I love the kids". Almost choked when I saw that one.

I've never been one that believed my tenure on the job ever gave me ownership in the corporation. Reprimand them for leaving work and don't allow they to use sick leave. If they really are willing to run the risk of being let go as opposed to a reduction in take home pay then they are dumbasses and I would'nt want my kid around them and their sense of entitlement.

If you have ever said these things you might be a lard ass:

Does this wagon I'm pulling make me look fat?

They won't let me come back to all you can eat night.

Why don't they make toilet paper wider?

I never have a second piece of cheesecake for dessert.

I recorded the superbowl and went to the gun range instead. Got to watch the 4th qtr. Then I decided to forward through the game and watched the commercials. I liked the Darth Vader kid volkswagen commercial, the talking cars, and the doritos where grandpa came back to life. Lots of movie commercials. I wonder if there weren't that many retail offers for commercials so the movies filled in.

Why is it you can fart without peeing, but can't pee without farting?

Lets have some truth in advertising here. Instead of sending me a message with broken english grammar associated with a picture that is obviously a professional model, just say "hey, not my pic, send money".

I'm seeing a business opportunity here. We have mobile dentists, mobile dog washers, mobile taco stands, and book mobiles. I say...mobile dungeon. Get an old uhaul van, paint it black and add some frills and soundproofing. I can see the ads now "the mobile dungeon will be at the Wal-mart on I-10 south of Breaker avenue Saturday right next to the Adopt a Pet. Register for a free spanking.

On a side note (the weather made me think of this one), are there any Eskimo dommes?

The dommes need to get together and come up with codes to use instead of everybody reinventing the wheel. For example A1 can mean "read my entire profile before contacting me". B1 could be "tribute required".  I'm afraid carpal tunnel will set in because of unnecessary typing. Soon floggers will be flying against the wall because of pain and lack of hand strength. Windows breaking, cold weather coming in.....and it can all be avoided.

I hear the term "Social Justice" bantered around. Does that mean that just because I'm a good person and you have more than me that you should give me some of what you own? It probably means that anybody using that term is a socialist or a communist.

Hm...could this be an argument against tributes?

Having the best and/or being the best is never cheap or easy.

I think I'm beginning to understand the plight of the dommes. I saw a profile of a domme that had absolutely nothing written in the profile nor any journals, and nothing in preferences. She had over 50 friends (all male).

      The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

Food for thought. If I make $100,000 and you make $50,000 a year, should I pay more for the same car than you do? The obvious answer is no since we are both paying for a given good or service and the price is based upon the market. Apply the same conditions to income tax. My taxes go to pay for the same services as you, I don't get more services than you or anybody else. So why do I have to pay more in taxes if I make more money? The logical opinion is that I should not pay more. Now factor in that the people making the least actually receive the most benefits, and 47% pay no taxes what-so-ever. So we throw in moral "obligations" as described by the great religions. That is to say we help the needy. That is a great concept most agree. I believe the concept is that "charity begins at home" and there are many religious teachings in support. Then along came the politicians that say the "state's" responsibility is to assist the needy. So in this regard the state becomes the "religious" responsibility party instead of Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews, and others? Hey wait....Stalin did that already.

Interesting day yesterday...one funeral and one wedding. I must say the funeral was more enjoyable due to the gathering of friends and the long life of the deceased. She was 100. The wedding had a verbose preacher who was "sharing" his wealth of self proclaimed knowledge. 2 hrs to wed a couple. The attorneys can divorce you in 30 minutes for $50.

Did you hear about the woman in spain who sent her husband a ransom message for 26,000 and to not call the police? He called the police and sent the ransom money. She picked it up and went to the mall shopping.......but the police arrested her for faking her kidnapping. Some days you can't win for losing.

Up in New York they are getting after the mayor over the poor job of removing snow from the streets. Down across the border in Texas an entire police department left a small mexican town outside of El Paso because of the violence from the drug cartels. All we need to do to ship the new york snow to mexico and everybody will benefit!

Submission is a psychological state

involving humility

or meekness

.^[1]

Robert Plutchik

listed submission as one of the eight advanced emotions in his Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

. Submission is composed of acceptance

with fear

, and has the opposite of contempt

. Submission is also referred as an action by fitting in and making oneself acceptable to the other person.^[2]

Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.

Definition of submission I happen to agree with. Note the definition of acceptance and how the person must agree. In other words the dominant's power comes from the acceptance of the submissive. So as so many say....I may be submissive....I'm not YOUR submissive. Stomping your foot and yelling won't change that.

I see our local mass transit authority is raising fares on busses. They've already maxed out their sales tax. Ever notice how local govt never come up with ways of cutting expenses such as replacing 110 passenger busses with 40 passenger busses. Granted the 3 people who ride the bus would have to sit closer together........

An old judge once told me to never forget that women control 90% of the money in this country and 100% of the pussy.

A blind man walks into a bar has a few drinks then asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says "I'll have you know I'm a blonde and have a shotgun behind this bar. Standing next to you is another blond who is a professional wrestler. On your other side is a blonde who is a biker chic and has a tire iron. Over at the pool table is a blonde with a pool cue, and on your left is a blonde who is the reigning female boxing champion of the world. Now I know you are blind and thought I would give you this heads up. So are you really sure you want to tell a blonde joke?"

The blind man tilts his head, shakes it, then says "naw, I don't want to explain it five times".

I get so confused. California passed a law that prevents McDonalds from selling Happy Meals. That tells me the legislature thinks parents can't make food decisions for their children. The same legislature had legalization of marijuana on the ballot. So Californians require help feeding their kids but they can smoke dope in a state that does not allow smoking.......

I see all sorts of comments about wanabe's and fakers. What if you wanna be a faker but can't pull it off?

Would a muslim insurance company call the 9-11 attack or suicide bomb attack an act of God and thereby deny a claim?

Moved mom from a skilled nursing facility to an assisted living facility this past week. The ratio of female to male has to be 20 to 1. And they call women who date younger men cougars. They just want somebody to live as long as they do!