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I have a boyfriend, I just keep my profile on here because I have developed some good o/l friends here I would like to keep in contact with. |
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I am no longer in the bdsm lifestyle. Just hoping one day to find a good Man to spend the rest of my life wiith |
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although i do own my own place ( such as it is) in a ghost town in Nevada.. i would also find happiness with a Man Who lives in or close to Phoenix, Az.. |
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the whole boyfriend thing isnt working out like i hoped it would.. Jealosy is a BAD thing! i am on the vanilla side of kinky *smiles8 |
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please Yyall wish me luck.. trying again with my x boyfriend! |
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i will be in Phoenix for the next year.. soooo if You are in Az, lemme know!! *weg* |
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i am having trouble entering and staying in chatrooms.. please forgive me for any time i have simply disappeared. |
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i have kinda outgrown the kinky stuff, but anyone interested in a true, heterosexual, campnionship relationship.. well i am Patt in real life and would like to get to know You! |
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WOOHOO tomorrow ( May 28th) is my 55th birthday!!! |
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just getting SO tired of the players here... is going to delete her profile soon and give up on CM |
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i am not really into kinks anymore.. i guess i outgrew that. but i DO believe a Man should be the Authority.. Head of Household! |
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fighting insomnia again tonight. just wish i wasn't living all alone. |
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i am going to be in Phoenix for the Christmas holidays.. call me there if You live there and would like to meet me. i will be at IHOP the one closest to Indian School Rd. on Sunday! at approx. 9:00 A.M. |
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 I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.
I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!
When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!
I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!
When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!
When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
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those who are interested in me, please, let me know. i am on the virge of unjoining this site & will give my email address to you who i have had some sort of positive contact with *smiles* |
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any sicko that wants to write to me asking if i have sex with my grandson, please curb the desire to share Your gross little fantasies with me. i am NOT interested in You if You think that it is okay to have a sexual relationship with family members |
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yahoo IM keeps making my computer freeze. Message me if You would like me to add You to my msn IM.. that is, those of You Who are already on my yahoo. MSN IM accepts yahoo addresses. |
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gosh i encounter different issues so much LOL
Please do not be offended because i do not immediatly exchange phone numbers or IM addys..
i wish to get to know You somewhat before that happens.
i do seek a lifelong relationship with a good and honorable Man. One Who is kind and loving and prides Himself in this.
Money has very little meaning to me, i can love a poor Man as easily as a Rich Man. However, please have an income of some sorts.. It isnt an acceptable thing for a woman to support a Man. If anything.. a Master should support His slave, i do have an income albeit a small one.
i live on Social Security. In these days of uncertainty, i am just thankful i own my own place, even though it needs a LOT of work.. i am getting there slowly but surely.. i have just recently retopped my place YAY!! |
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 please, please, PLEASE.. i am not interested in any Man under the age of 46. Older would be better though. i am 54 years old and actually prefer Men older than me. ALSO.. Please do not send me a picture of Your penis.. how disrespectful.. ALSO i am a HETEROSEXUAL, MONOGAMOUS sub/slave i do not mind being a friend to women who are homosexual or bisexual.. but PLEASE respect the fact that i am neither.
ALSO all of You Men who are 20ish - 30ish i am NOT interested in a relationship with You. my oldest child is 37 years old. my oldest grandchild is 22 years old.. get my drift? it would just be too weird and kind of sick (in my eyes) to be with a Man my Children or Grandchildren's age.. or even close to their ages) |
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hi! i have been in contact with SOOOO many Men here. i am begining to become very frustrated. If You are not real.. and honest... and honorable, ethical..... and not seeking some girl who will support You and are not of this country.. the good ole US Of A.. and You just want to get Your rocks off, having no class at all, and You are under the age of mmmm 45? PLEASE do not take up my time or Yours! |
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can she be inticing? ohhh yaaa can she be alluring? mebbe.. can she be intriguing? yep.. is she unique? absolutly |
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calling it an early night tonight. i dont sign out until my time runs out and i have to sign back in, but i will be AFK *smiles*
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yanno, i truly believe the Man of the house SHOULD be the Master of His home.. what that means to me now, i cannot say for sure. as MOST know, as we grow, we change. i have been through much in my life.. especially the last 5 years or so.. Yes, so has everyone else, but this is all about me LOL.. i have softened etc.. through all i have faced as of late.. i now know that i do seek a loving, kind Master Who wants a loyal and honest woman to live out His life with. |
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i am in a period of re-evaluation regarding my lifestyle preferences.. a Master asked what i used to do.. this was my response
hmmmmm my late Master used to beat my breasts so badly they were always purple... when we went shopping, He would make me bend down to pick up things from the low shelves, without bending my knees so my ass and shaved cunt would show, if i displeased Him while in public, He would grab me by the hair or collar and escort me roughly to the car or behind the store, make me bend over, pull up my dress or pull down my pants, make me hold onto something so i wouldn't move and beat me.. for any small thing... when driving, He kept me tied to the seat, twisting my nipples.. He gave me 4 enemas a day.. with bleach or rubbing alcohol.. i had to walk behind Him in public.. He would take me to private places and put a leash on my collar, pulling me around, He performed forced lactation and would milk me into His morning coffee.. He was going to brand me with His personal brand, and tattoo me also, but He died before He did this... and much more |
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Well!!! *grins* noone is filling my mailbox today.. so i am going to take my toys and go home *sniffs*
Remember saying that (sorta) when you was a child?
loves and hugs to all!
If you all are giving me room, during this sad time in my life, please dont! i need you all more now than ever! |
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hello all! i am home now. i have had a very trying couple of weeks. i have gone from being seperated to widowed. i hope everyone understands this and will be patient with me.
i am home though *smiles* just VERY tired. |
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Don't Tell Me...
Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know,
Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer, don't tell me how to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say,
"My friend, I really do care." |
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Leaving for Oregon by way of Phoenix. my husband has succumbed. i have to go take care of the arraingements |
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Hooded and examined.. a "Dom" mentioned that tonight. also shackled, whipped, collared, leash trained, and much more ..After all of the fakes, liars and scammers i have dealt with, i have been very unsure about what i was still interested in. Hooded and examined are most defienetly at the top of that list! a great big thank You to the Master that brought those feelings back to life talking to me about it! |
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my husband (As i have mentioned, i am married but have been seperated for years.. He lives in Oregon) was dieing. i was in Vegas doing my big shopping for the month (i live about 2 1/2 - 3 hours from Vegas.. my daughter called me on my cell phone crying.. Daddy was dieing. so i finished my shopping (was at the checkout counter when she called), took my groceries home and put them away, then my grandson and i headed for Phoenix to pick up my daughter so we could all go to Oregon. while i was there (in Phoenix) i called the Doc. He said Ronnie (my husband) had been revived (this is the 4th or 5th time he has defied death in the 32 years we have been married) The Doc. said he was doing much better and suggested we wait for when the end truly comes. He doesnt see Ronnie living a long life at best, Ronnie will be going home this time. Next time.. maybe not.. so Zack (my grandson) and i turned around and came back to Goldfield. i am still wiped out. my body feels like i have been beaten up. i ache from the ride and probably the stress. Just wanted to let all who care about me here, what is going on *smiles softly* |
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Someone apparently misunderstood my last Journal entry..
i am NOT in a wheelchair anymore. i havent been in about 2 years. i am not on oxygen anymore.. ditto (2 years). i am still working on regaining the strength i once had in my legs, but i can assure You all.. i am 100% mobile under my own power *grins* |
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please understand that i am overweight.. not just a little.. also have worked myself out of a wheelchair i spent time in (hence gaining so much weight being so sedentary) and off of oxygen. but i AM 54 it will take a great deal of time to get my strength back in my arms and legs. i workout 3x a day and have been dieting since i got outta the wheelchair. i had high elevation sickness is why i was so sick. i can do for myself, hell i am doing laundry and hanging it on the line right now. but my legs and arms ARE weak i have lost a great deal of weight,but has a great deal of weight to lose still |
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Do not ask the stones or the trees how to live, they can not tell you; they do not have tongues; do not ask the wise man how to live for, if he knows, he will know he cannot tell you; if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so. |
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don'cha just hate these lonely nights when you think that settling would be better than being alone, even though you know it isnt so? well, having one of those nights tonight. It isnt making me vulnerable however, i am very steadfast about taking my time and getting to know the "One" first. IF He is out there. I do not fear living alone if that what must be, i simply would rather not. i would love to grow old with that special someone. The one who makes me smile after many years together.
Dont mind me, i am just having one of those nights LOL
i have promised myself if i started something on my journal, i wouldnt look back. i would go ahead and enter it, even if it sounded stupid LOL |
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There seems to be much i have not made myself clear with. i would rather (honestly) lose all contact with the amazing Men Who have been messaging me, than not be 100% clear about everything...
i worked myself out of a wheelchair and have been dieting, losing approx. 6-12 lbs a month.i gained a great deal of weight while i was so sedentary. After the age of 50, it simply takes longer to recouperate. i have always been a "walk it off" type person. Someday i will be all good again. Right now, i wouldnt be a very good submissive because i can do dishes and cook if i dont have to stand a long time. i can grocery shop and take care of all basic living situations. i dont need a caretaker or anything like that, although my 21 yr old grandson lives with me to help me survive finanically etc.. i have a great SUV and an old mobile home (same age as i am lol) on a tiny lot i also own in Nevada. the mobile home needs a LOT of work. i had bought the supplies to fix it. Probably spent somewhere close to $30,000. Buying this place and the money for the supplies came from an insurance settlement when my home in Calif. burned down. it is all gone now. One of the two i mentioned in my blog that burned me, stole everything and sold it then left while i was staying with my daughter in Phoenix. she insisted i stay with her while i needed help with the most basic of life's things.
i live on Social Security and make only $918 a month. SO You most likely would want to find someone who has more to offer than i do *smiles* Something else to mention. i have been married for 32 years. we have been seperated for quite a few years though. He lives in a different State than i (which has greatly improved our marraige LOL) He isnt some liar and he didn't abuse me (darn it LOL j/k) the problems were more insidious than that |
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i didnt mean to scare y'all off *smiles* However if You are searching the site for a quick collar.. move on.. i am not going to repeat my past mistakes. i do not wish for a "velcro" collar. True relationships in any lifestyle should be given the time to mature and blossom.
Also.. please if You are under the age of 45.. i am far too old for You. i am 54 years old. |
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hmmm why is it that so many do not understand that i am not going to jump into another relationship? twice burned in the last 4 years by Men i have met o/l has finally sank into my stubborn head that i should take things VERY slow and be VERY VERY cautious! |
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Well today is my birthday. i am still smiling from all of the birthday happenings. i totally live in a town that LOVES to celebrate lol.Just taking time to post in my diary before heading out again.
Yesterday, i think i was just reflecting as i am now a year older. So kinda ignore all of the stuff i said, diary. i was just in a "taking inventory" of my life, mood. It's all good. Most are not as blessed with loving family & friends (both r/l & o/l). Besides that, i have a sexy arse *grins* the dieting and working out is really showing now. When i walked into Dusty & Lou's Cafe, that is the first thing mentioned. Everyone here has a nickname. mine is Wildflower Patti. The general consensus is i should change it to Sexy ass Patti, lol.
*hugs* |
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 should i just give up? Thought i found a nice, normal Man. Guess what. He turned out to be a sicko in a way i have only heard about. Not even certain i am interested in a relationship of any kind anymore. |
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Phone and internet was out all evening last night and all day today. Now it is back, but MSN is giving me a run for my money lol sooo i am here and i am not here. Please do not feel slighted if i dont get to You. i truly am fighting MSN now. |
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Please know that i am an honest, nice, patient and honorable person. An old hippie who loves to wear an oversized t-shirt and barefeet is my eutopia. i am very mind mannered, jovial, boisterous and giggly. sitting at Masters feet, with my head in His lap, watching TV sounds like heaven to me. i am a very simple girl with very simple needs. |
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It seems like everytime i talk to someone there is something new i need to add, guess this could go on forever (hopefuly not) i believe all people should show others respect, Free and slave alike. i DO adhere to the Gorean Philosophies.. but i am not just Gorean. i have taken the philosphies from bdsm as well and tailor made a lifestyle that fits my ethical, moral and honor codes. so please do not lump me into a specific style. i am different, i am unique and i like myself. *smiles winking impishly* |
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LET IT BE KNOWN!!
what i seek here is a real life relationship with a real life Master. i do Gorean r/p and in that, i do have an o/l Gorean Master.
THIS IS ROLEPLAY for heavens sake. NOT real life. He and i could never become real life. Yes, He knows i seek a real life Master. Yes, He knows my former real life Master is deceased. i DO know the difference between role play and real life.
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i just dont get it i guess. sex, although really great, takes up such a small part of a 24 hour day, yet everyone seems to focus solely on the sexual aspect of a Master/slave relationship. Am i just trippin or is almost everyone too myobic? |
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There are a few things i have not made clear enough, apparently.
(1) if You are in Your 20s or 30s, i am too old for You. that is how i feel, and that feeling will not change.
(2) please when You first contact me, let us talk about things other than sex. i love sex. obviously all of us here do, so that isnt going to be an issue. what might be an issue is day to day life things. that is why people should talk and get to know each other.
(3) If You are Poly. dont look here.
(4) i am monogamous (which means i am one slave for one Master, only)
(5) please only Those interested in the US, preferably the Western US
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ooohhhs i am having BIG trouble with my internet. *(&)*&^* MSN *giggles* anyway, i may or may not be o/l it is up to the MSN Gods. |
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Sometimes when i come to CM, i have a chat request. i am almost always signed in, but i do not hang around. i check my messages, respond and leave. So i would really appreciate if anyone wants to chat with me, to send me a message and then when i get the email saying there is a message, i will get to You. i hate the thought that anyone might think i am so rude as to ignore their chat requests. i would not do that, not on purpose. |
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met with Master William today at Denny's trying to help Him spearhead a "Real life Goreans of Phoenix" group before i head back home. Very nice Master, had a nice time talking with Him. |
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took my car to the shop to get the motor replaced in the drivers side window so for the moment, i am grounded. i dont read other's journal's so i dont know if they use them as personal journal's or just CM stuff. i kinda use it as a combination. the Gorean prejudices kind of bother me, that and some seem to think i am supposed to fit some kind of "Gorean Mold" as popeye says *i yam what i yam* |
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oh my goodness, i can barely keep my eyes open today. talking to a lot of people here. very sweet every one of them. time will tell who all of us should be with, i am too quick to leap into a situation and i am trying not to do so anymore. i am just tired of being alone so i make these blind leaps. |
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well i have returned to CM. i still have hopes that Master Right is out there. i guess i'll never give up on that hope. i have met some really special people here. met a few as well. they were cool, just not right for me, or visa versa but we parted on honorable and friendly terms. ohhh Master Right!!! i am waiting for You to find me *giggles* hurry and find me!! |
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