CollarSubGirl

Begin my search once again. I am no longer under the training of the Dom mentioned in my previous post

Schoolgirl journal response: 

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I've been in talks with someone willing to train me and it makes feel...awesome. I find that he is..awesome. So far he has made me do some pretty awesome things and this has made me feel...awesome. On reflection, what I think is....this could turn out pretty awesome.  

Ok try again....  

It really has been a interesting couple of weeks. My job has been stressful but I've been able to keep my head. Personally I think it's because I've been able to throw myself into learning from this guy. He's willing to train me and it really does feel awesome. It's been a while since I've really focused on being a sub full time and it makes me happy to be submissive. And he's willing to train me even with my full live in sub. But honestly? My sub and my dom sides are almost two entirely different personalities. I'm training (with him) the submissive side and in the end I'll be a better Domme for it. Besides...I want to be a sub because I totally missed it.

My favourite part? I have pretty much no secrets. Not for a lack of trying though. When I'm talk I'll think "I'll keep a and b hidden so that he won't know" and before I can blink he says "b and a....how do you feel about it?". And it's kinda fun. I love not being allowed to keep secrets. 

The worst part is because it's been so long I suck at doing assignments....I was given a relatively easy task and didn't hand it in on time so I was punished and given an extension. I felt stupid for doing it but I just...I did try. And then I forgot about it. So I was late for a second time. Thankfully he graced me with mercy. I was so upset but He let me. I didn't fail the third time. And now I'm trying to make sure each assignment is done properly and on time. 

Actually in serving and through his training....I've learned quite a bit about myself. It's like....personality traits and secrets I never knew I had seem to be cropping up now. And I didn't realise how...radically honest I can be sometimes (props to anyone who gets the referance). Sometimes I worry about how much I say but it's been good so far. I hope it continues that way. As long as I learn quickly how to finish assignments on time ;).  

TLDR: The last few weeks with Sir have been amazing. But I must learn to finish tasks on time.

Switching Sides...how could you be so heartless. I thought you believed in me? You were my biggest supported...you held me high. I trusted you how could you be so cruel? You were my first kiss because of a bet. I was trying to save myself with you. And you threw me out on the streets.

When I was suicidal, you were the one I turned to. You helped me….you saved me. Maybe I did rely on you too much...With everyone else relying on you I broke you. Well I guess we all did. But to abandon me...all I wanted was a friend. I was healing...I didn't need you to be my support anymore. I just needed a friend. But I guess it was really you who taught me how horrible of a friend I can be. Like really….I don't know how to be a friend. My wings were clipped as a child to prevent me from ever leaving….but as a teenager I willing clipped my wings and jumped through there hoops. And I was too blind to see that.

I wish you hadn't abandoned me. I still miss you. It kills me in my current relationships because I'm too afraid to connect. 

Breaking ties are hard, but it's worth it isn't it? 

Best Day of my Life

Part One:

Master had been kind all day. I knew by being bitchy and disobediant while He was sick was the worst possible thing she could have ever done. How could she not trust Him...The One who made her so happy, the One who controled her with such skill. Spending a day away from Him while she was being stupid by actually thinking her anger was worth anything. He IS the most important One...HOW could she ever doubt that. Master really must be a good Man and good Master to spend all day with such an undeserving slave...HELPING her in fact to find a job. All she could do was trot along by His side and follow Him blindly through submission and love. Even when He walked her back to His house through her leash, all she could do was follow Him with blind submission.

Part Two:

Entering His house, He kissed and played with her. He pulled her breasts out of her bra and cupped them in His strong hands and mouth, a small bite of pain but she assumes it was just His way of brining her pleasure. She offered a suggestion to Master, to take her out to His backyard naked. He smiled wickedly, commanding her to strip in front of Him for His pleasure. He took her outside, tying her leash to a table in His backyard. calling her over, commanding her to crawl to Him on all four and keep her ass up high in the air for veiwing. Master attached the leash to her collar, sitting down beside His slave. She crawls closer to Him, and He asks "Does the little puppy want to hide in Master's chest?". Nodding slowly, crawling pushing into Master's chest only to have Masters firm hand on her forehead holding her back. "Ah Ah Ah...no slave you asked for this. So enjoy" Master takes a few photos of her before walking inside, closing the door and the curtens so that she is suddenly completely alone and no ability to see or hear Master. so she's left outside, naked on all fours, exploring like a little puppy.

Part Three:

Master returns after a little while.

"How are you little pet?"

"Master please, I have to use the washroom Master so badly"

"Well little puppy, you won't be allowed to use the bathroom, so go pee off the edge of the deck slut. Master will watch and take pictures so do not worry."

She whimpers softly, and squats like a puppy over the edge of the deck. Master watches as His slut pisses like a dog outside. Master laughs in enjoyment and pleasure, taking pictures of a slut puppy humliating and soiling herself and His backyard. Master cleans off His slut, cleaning off the dirt from her arms and legs, and the piss off her thighs and feet.

Part Four:

Master brings in His now clean slut, laying her out of the floor. He notices being outside for so long like that, His slut if horny. He finger fucks her hard. Screaming loudly in an hard orgasm, she falls to the floor...ass up exposed.

Master starts to spank her.

"Ohh Master thank you Master please Master More" The spankings so enjoyable to His slut so Master begins to whip her but still it is pleasurable to her. But then, Master starts to remind her of the pain she caused Him, telling her it's time for punishment. Master continues whipping her, the same speed and pain as it was before but now, now that Master has told her it is punishment, she cries out in horrible pain. She never knew a whipping could hurt so bad. But as a good girl, she continues to thank her Master, thanking Him for the pain and the punishment.

Once Master believes she has been punished enough, He strikes one last time very very hard. She cries out, and lays on the her body completely done, not able to take anymore pain. Master takes a warming lotion and massages it into her sore red ass, causing it not to hurt anymore.

"Thank you Master for punishing me and I am very sorry for being a bad girl. Thank you for forgiving me Master though I know I did not deserve it".

"Very good little girl and for that, Master will reward you for receiving your punishment like a good girl. You reward will be a long thorough massage from your Master".

She nearly screams in delight. "Thank you Master Thank You!" Master begins His massage of her body, taking His time, probably enjoying it as much as His girl was enjoying it. He made her feel loved, even after He had to punish her for being bad.