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coldandbroken

coldandbroken - photo 2
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coldandbroken - photo 6

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Friends:
WomanAbuser

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I'm not sure what to write. All my life I should have been here though. This is the missing part of what I want. I have no trouble meeting other men...I'm not here for sex. Through all my partners, they never give me what I have wanted. They bend to me, they don't take charge...its sounds bad, but they respect my opinion too much. I want to be taken control of. I want to be told what to do(not just in the bedroom). I want to give up total control. I have a deep need to be taken sexually against my will. So many men are soft. I can smell softness from a mile away...and as soon as I catch a whiff, i am turned off like a switch. I want a man who will always call me on my bullshit. I test men all the time, and they fail miserably. I just want a REAL man to tell me im full of shit, grab my hair,  force me onto the bed and do whatever HE wants...EVERYTHING...even if he has to hit me to stop me from squirming! I don't know why i think about this, but its all I can think about. Sometimes when Im in the city, I look down the ally way and think about some really bad man holding me down, hitting me till im scared, taking me to a secluded place..making me cry with yelling and hitting...and making me do things...awful things...

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5/22/2010 1:15:01 PM
So..we meet. He was…I’d say a little different than any man I have met. He is very relaxed. He looks like a normal man, doesn’t dress like most I’d say, might even say handsome. He’s not tall, but he walks tall..has a slight build…and is fairly clean cut, but still has a ruggedness about him, sporting the whetherd ears of a wrestler. I wonder what battle stories are behind them.  He’s personable and made me comfortable. But…every once in awhile..i’d see a glimmer…of something behind his eyes. A malicious intent, I think. It’s like he knows he’s better than you. I can’t explain it.  I watch movies constantly…love them, I’m a nerd in that sense, but it helps me describe things. He reminds me of Christian Bale’s character in American Psycho. Sometimes he’ll just look at you, or say something…and you think “does this guy even like me at all?”. I probably shouldn’t like that he makes me feel that way…but I do. He is never impressed…and inside I felt like I was pining for his approval much of the time. He doesn’t need to say things all the time, and is not concerned about pauses…like “awkward pauses”. There were a few, but they weren’t awkward. It was natural with him, because he brings a certain kind of comfort.
We got to know each other deeper though. It was one of the better conversations overall that I have had with a man the first time out. His smile, absolutely melts me…and his eyes..pierce me. His deep dark eyes... I think they are.. black? I should have taken notice when our lips met. At times, it felt like I was having drinks with the devil. Maybe it was the goatee,lol, though its not an evil goatee. Its just his dimeaner I think. Its just how you’d picture the devil if he were fleshed out, manifested into a real person. A dichotomy of charm…and something sinister. Not someone you’d love to hate….but rather someone you’d hate to love…


5/8/2010 6:02:13 PM
My first phonecall with the abuser...hmm. I was glad he had a manly voice. It was fairly deep, but not deep deep. He was well spoken. He didn't try to be overly tough...but at times he can be condescending, and talk down to you. We got to know each other a little.
He said we will talk later this week.

5/1/2010 2:20:58 PM
Holy shit. if it wasn't for a couple guys that don't seem like desperate, pleading, LOSERS who are obviously just trying to get laid, id leave this site.   25 fuckin emails , 25?! ugh! Its daunting..

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JenAsayKwa
 
 Age: 38
 Camden County, New Jersey