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I used to write profiles and update my journal, but it has always proven fruitless.
Non-sexual aspects of my life: I'm employed full time as a programmer (web and application development). I used to be a contractor but found it too unstable and stressful.. I'm a bundle of contradictions (I love metal, but also have a taste for classical music, especially Mozart, Wagner and Tzaichovski). I am almost terribly pragmatic, but also very passionate (go figure, right?)and my hobbies include studying juris prudence and forensic psychology, as well as electronic engineering.
Sexual aspects: There is nothing more erotic than a beautiful woman in my arms, but I do love to experiment. Bondage, spanking, tickling and roleplay augment the experience, but ultimately the affection of another is my endeavor. Don't like it? tough.
Cheers,
-- CM
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Well, things are looking up now. I've got a side job while I rebuild my business here in Austin, so I'm no longer completely destitute. I still haven't found a Dom or Switch out here, yet -- but, I've got my ear to the ground :D
-- Allen |
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*Alas*-- work and temporary penury have kept me from really indulging my BDSM side in this, the greatest city in Texas. But, no worries, it won't last -- but it sucks that I haven't really had a chance to party down with the BDSM crowd out here.
C'est la vi, I suppose.
-- Allen |
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Well, the day has arrived -- today I move to the swingenest city in my state -- Austin, TX. Seems my roommate's poor choices have skyrocketed me into a better city; who would've guessed.
-- Allen |
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Just got back to the homestead -- I've been gone for a couple of weeks while the Hurricane Ike conditions were addressed (e.g. while my power and cable company fixed our lines) -- turns out my rommate HADN'T BEEN PAYING RENT!!!!
ARGGGHHH!!!!
Now, I have to find a new place in the next month because my roommate is too immature to face his problems. Geez -- and people wonder why I have trust issues.
NEWay, thing will be hectic for a while -- thank god, it would be too much to hope for a simple life.
-- Allen |
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Until now, I've been exploring BDSM solely with dating in mind; recently, however, I've been talking with a number of sources who have encouraged me to explore the BDSM scene outside of the confines of intimacy and more in the scope of exploration.
I find that concept foreign -- as a misanthrope, I doubt that I could develop the level of trust necessary to play with a dominant; and, as wound-tight as I've become, I doubt I could toe the safety line enough to play with a submissive.
But, I guess that's what exploration is about: finding something new -- nosce te ipsum. So, perhaps I will explore it.
Now, just have to figure out who I can trust...
Fide nemini?
-- Allen
Followup: Recently started working on a USB wireless locking mechanism, for those subs and doms who like to play, but are joined only by the wonderful aether we call Internet -- it's alot harder than I figured. Failsafe is a must, and electromagnet-based locks have to have safety scrubbers (the metallic core of an electromagnet has to have a brief current pushed opposite the standard mode or it will remain magnetized even after the current is removed).
Looks like my eyes may have been bigger than my stomach on this one... |
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I always find 'online dating' or 'online social connection' sites interesting; there are usually hordes of guys trying to throw themselves at girls, usually girls who don't need the 'online' aspect (which begs the question of why girls use the sites in the first place).
The interesting part, of course, is that the girls are usually put off long before I arrive (due to generally bad or inappropriate behavior of their would-be courters). This hasn't changed since the beginning of online play -- even in the old BBS-style chat rooms, girls got horded as soon as their profile showed 'female'.
One would expect, sociologically speaking, that the overall behavior would deviate toward more fruitful methods, but it hasn't; in fact, it's gotten alot worse -- with more people realizing the anonymity of the web, more innapropriate behavior prevails. I guess one could comment that this is a reflection of the true nature of us -- how do we behave when there are no consequences and noone around to judge us?
Just an interesting thought...
-- Allen |
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I recently finished a Content Management System that allows clients to edit their content right on the pages, a unique methodology that is almost non-existent (there are a few on-the-fly editors out there, but they're expensive and difficult to implement and use). I've been really excited about it, as it's a culmination of my many years of experience with web development and building personal relationships with all my clients (business today is just too impersonal -- everyone is concerned with the contract, rather than the conept and building good relationships). Since no similar CMS currently exists (that is both reasonably priced and easy to implement and use), my partner and I are expecting alot of business from it.
Naturally, there has been no development in my personal life -- the girls around here are either too naive or too shallow for me (Nacogdoches is a college town and its chamber of commerce is notoriously ellitist and exclusive). I've tried dating here, but it just isn't worth the effort. I'd move, but the cost of living is just too good to pass up -- I guess I'll be good friends with online searching for a while longer :(
-- Allen |
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I recently received a PM on collarme and it made me realize I haven't been keeping up with the page much; so, here's the low-down:
About a month ago, I went to see my doctor about memory and attention problems I've been having (and motivational and energy, but I left those out). He diagnosed PI (Primarily Inattentive) ADHD and prescribed me something called Vyvanse (a 'reformulated' version of Adderall XR).
The stuff's been amazing -- it's a night and day difference. I've been more productive and focused this last month than any other time in my entire life. In 3 short weeks, I burned through 9 projects scheduled for 6 months of work.
Anyway, as a result, I've been ridiculously (and happily, I might add) focused on work for the last month. But, I assure you all that I have been, and will continue, responding to any communication I get from the site as soon as I have the time (though it might take a couple of days).
-- Allen |
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Sorry for the late responses people; I've been buried in work the last 3 weeks or so. I'll try to get to everyone who's sent me a line.
-- Allen |
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I get tired of reading "send original mails or you will be ignored" in profiles -- here, anywhere. I find it somewhat ironic, since it is the refusal to respond that prompts our cue card invites (by us, I mean men online). It's very difficult to be original when only 1 in every 40 women responds to communiques, original or not.
Of course, I send my thanks to those sweethearts that do respond, regardless of their interests with me, but it doesn't alter the challenge everywhere else.
Do I try to be original in my posts?
Absolutely; I read profiles top to bottom and at least look over journals, so that I can custom fit my communications.
Do I use rhetoric or cue card bullshit?
Never. Fuck it -- if someone doesn't want to respond to sincerity, that's their loss.
But, a simple "Thanks but I'm not interested" would help out alot. It helps when that statement is in the profile (many thanks to you all who put 'I have a master/boyfriend/I'm a lesbian' in your profiles as it helps prevent wasted effort).
Now that thought etches into real life too -- not just CollarMe or even just online world. It's nerve wrecking to be ignored or lied to by anyone when I'm asking for a number, especially for men like myself who have learned to spot disingenuineness very quickly.
Grow some rocks, ladies: say you're not interested.
-- Allen |
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Let's face it -- deep down, I'm a philosopher. I think about things alot, and I can overanalyze at times. Women receive no protection from this flaw of mine.
I consider [creation of] the female to be the epitome of God's excellence, but therein lies a great dichotomy. As with men, a beautiful woman is really just a difference engine, evolved from her own experience, but limited therein, as well.
I live in a college town, so I get to observe the behavior of beautiful young ladies alot, and I've come to discover that I don't especially care for the outright beautiful female. Ironic, one must think, since I so adore the female in all her beauty and splendor. But, I've found that especially lovely ladies tend to be egotistical and selfish, despite their self-image and possible desire to not be.
Maybe it's my misanthropy, a flaw I willingly admit having and wouldn't change for anything or anyone; but, I just don't trust anyone who has too much with which to bargain. Just like in business, negotiating in personal life becomes one sided when the offer of one party significantly outweighs the others.
Honestly, I think I like the quieter, average girl, who appreciates affection and doesn't posess an excessive level of vanity.
Maybe this is really a result of cognitive dissonance? I'd love to hear from you all on this matter (free and open discussion is paramount to social evolution).
-- Allen
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| Age: 28 |
| Sacramento,
California |
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