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| SEARCHING FOR .. A BIG BLACK COCK . IN NASHVILLE AREA ......
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i would like to inform those that do take the time to actually read people's profile's and journals .. well.. my profile message saying"im looking for a big black cock ..." i would like to say that i mean that in a joking manner .. but it kind of weaves out a lot of people from messaging me ... its my own sick twisted sarcastic humor .. .. ok well thats all i got to say for now
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@ some point in life....u take what u have learned,and u start the rest of ur life with a fresh perspective.
I have learned the following....
-love like u have never loved b4.some1 said it long ago,and it still rings true.every experience has its own lessons and things 2 enjoy,so rather then dwelling on what might happen,stop 2 enjoy what is happening.live in the moment,it only comes once.
-never let ur pride be 2 big 2 let others know what's in ur heart.that should be a crime.speak up,hiding it isn't gonna make those feelings or thoughts go away.
-keep people around who respect u,which u can trust when u have ur back turned.and 2nd chances are ok,but if u don't see progress from what the original issue was,then its time 2 say goodbye.
-dreams are not only for dreaming,they are for living as well.live ur dreams,we aren't cats with 9 lives,and even that has to be a myth.
-the heart is fragile but it does repair itself emotionally.
-in an argument,stick to the issue at hand.and understand that,its an argument,u speak ur piece,they speak their piece and u get over it.u don't just assume ppl hate u or that they're bad ppl cuz they have an issue with u.long as no 1 disrespected u,get over it.
-2morrow the sun shines again,and a new page begins.every day that u wake up is a chance to start over.
-some girls just want to steal ur shine-whether its with boys,friends,or work.....girls like that are not friends.good friends,share the shine and are positive and encouraging ppl.
-friends are few,acquaintances are many.
-ppl only know what u allow them to know about u.sometimes ppl have u misread because u only let them know so much.go ahead show them how fabulous u really are.
-toughen up Tiger-stand up for urself reasonably and rationally.its the person who gets hot headed publicly that looks the most foolish.
-never apologize for being amazing.whoever has an issue with that,has low self esteem.its ok,let them do their own thing.♥
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I WONDER
I wonder if he thinks of me they way I do him
I wonder if he says my name in his sleep
I wonder if he feels that same emptiness I feel wen we are apart
I wonder if he misses my touch ,my laugh,my presence.
I wonder if he yerns to feel me from the inside . This man has penetrated every entrance ,to my mind ,,,
While other try to find the. Fine fibers of my bed sheets
He and only he is trying to find and define the fine fibers in whitch my mind speaks ,, somtimes I wonder to myself ,, does he look at me in the same light I see him ,,
I WONDER |
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i had been turning tricks longer than i actually knew it,
Being whatever THEY wanted me to be
whenever THEY wanted me to be it
****A FREAK****
inside,outside,kitchen counters,laundry mats
2 at a time,hotels, motels,and backseats of leased cars,vans, and jeeps.
made myself like it ,cuz ,, THEY like it.
and i liked that THEY liked
so i continued being the perfect image of a wet dream,
nasty,wild,exotic,erotic *FREAK* was what THEY wanted, so *FREAK* was who i was.
Now everybody walking around talking about me ,like teenage pregnancy wasn't becoming equal with being a minority and women.....
like America wasn't suffercating our thoughts
like there was nothing to talk about , but what I was doing or screwing
and i felt the whole damn thing was ridiculous , witch it was
cuz i was content with giving my men a little heaven
between there "struggle to breath" and
contimplation of "suicide"
wasn't i good for the cause ?
closed mind open legs . makin my men forget why they so damn angry .
wasn't i good?
then the mood swung as well the tempo
and i became an "ideal"
so .. THEY want, pretty , dassile,caring and STUPID..
and there i was on your marc seth joe..and i was "sussie homemaker " on the hunt for love ...
cooking , and cleaning , and ironing . faithful.... and a *FREAK*!!!
cuz thats wat THEY liked,and i liked being wat THEY like so wat THEY liked was who i was .....
A PROSTITUTE!!
selling my soul for emotional gain
struggling to be not the 3RD !! generation of lonely women in my family
struggling to gain
but gaining nothing but confussion ,frustration, illusion , and emptiness.
cuz there was no love
just empty condem wrappers on the floors to be discarded like me
a prized proformer long before i actually knew it too, cuz i was faking me out of the me i would become
the me that i see now
the me that holds onto herself with both hands and all feet
the me who must have love and give it
the me who brings more to the table that good looks and a wet hole..
the me that is confident
inteligent and filled to the brim with respect for me
and a **FREAK**
cuz thats wat i like
and i like being wat i like
and wat i like is all a part of wat i am
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