chenoa1

is it wrong to love someone with all your heart and soul, just to be told there is nothing you could do.

being a slave means many things to many people and who can say it is right or wrong..
I personaly think noone can nor has the right to deside for another if that person 
is a slave. only the person in question can choose what one wishes to be.. slave..
being a slave  finds the happiness of serving of being of help and needed.o feeling
that she is usefull if nothing else that . that just perhaps in some way she has a
purpose in this world..

she finds pleasure in serving her Master and pleasing Him in all ways that she can.
she loves and enjoys as well as hunger and crave her life as a slave.. for with out
it she is nothing and no good..she has no reason to go on if she can not be true to
her self and what she is...

though she has been as she is for many years she would not ever change any thing about
it even if she was able to..

being a slave means more then just seriving drinks and food.. it is turning your way of
life over to another.. to be able to trust another in all things that is best for you
even though you may not agree with it. to love fulling .. to give all that one has to the
best that they can and not hold back anything for the owner or her Master..to share your
even your worst fears with your Master... to trust Him/Her in all things....

knowing that the fears are sometimes the hardest t face and yet facing them in a way
by sharing and asking the Master for His wistem and guidance to help over come them.
to trust some one that much is a gift in it self .. to give all of yourself, your needs,
your wants, your hunger and craving to another to control.

is it done because one is a slave or is it done out of love.. a
person can be a slave to
many things in life. money,love,sex,work even the slightest materal things.
in a way we are all slaves to something.. it is just that some chooses to accept their
way of life in serving another..

they find the pleasure and freedom that very few people may find in life.. to find the
contientment the joys of life the peacefullness ,the pleasure,the fullfillment of pleasing,
serving, sitting and talking and just sharing with another person.. to find and
understand the trueness and pureity in life..

to become or try to be everything that you can for another. to know the joy you bring or
give to another not because you may have to or told to but because you want it,
you hunger to,you crave it more then anything else. you ach with need and hunger to
please another human being .. weither that may be the slaves Master or Mistress..
to give because you crave it and need to give all of yourself ..

the hunger driving you to be the best you can,

to this slave it is more to her then an online thing.. it is her life what she lives
for.. her Master is her world, her life the very reason why to wakes each day..
the very reason she fights to go on no matter what life may throw at her... so be fore
closing and sending this.. this slave thanks the goddess and gods above for allowing
her this life and finding her heart in soul in a Master that her everything..

even though she knows the last few lines may not be so right now it is in her heart on
 how one would feel being who and what she is...

her pink mystery exposed
a seeping musk of wanton need
a beating cadence throbs
her hooded pleasure

tan curves accent green sheets
a surreal glow casts flicking light
from candles like stars
in silent space

she is left to wonder
what He will take
what He will give
the past brings memories
of ice and wax and tongue and cock
of frozen clamps on hardened nips
of short nails drawn up
full breasts and down to cunt

He watches while she waits
as if she is caught
in spun web
helplessly wrapped tight against the ties

I want to be On your mind,
Under your skin,
In your fantasies,
Everywhere you are,
Every place you feel.
I want you to Smell me when you breathe,
Taste me on your tongue,
Sense my heat behind you,
Feel my breath on your neck,
And my touch on your skin.
I want you to Imagine
I am there When you close your eyes to sleep.
I’ll be in your dreams.
When you touch yourself,
You’ll feel my fingers lightly.
I want to crawl inside you,
Invade your secret places,
Take hostage your desires,
Spread wide your limbs
And tie you up with need for me,
Until you’re a captive of the heart.

I chain you

ponderings of a slave's thoughts...                                                 3/19/2010 12:59:33 AM

though some of us never had the chance to choose the ways of this life. i would not
changed my past nor my way of life for anything in this or any world.

I have been asked many times in my life so far on what i would change in my life. and
though my life was hard and differnt form many others.. i honestly would not change it
for to change any part of my way i was raised or my way of life would change the
person that i am.

so how do you know what you seek with in a Dom or Master/Domme or Mistress/ or
even a submission or slave...

for each one of us is differnt .. though we all have feelings and is human .. gggles well
as human as we can be.. or perhaps as normal as we can be.. but what is really normal
in this world? to me .. what may be normal for one person may not be so for me. and
vise a versa. what may be right for another  does not mean it is rigt for us all.. but yet
is that not what made up the United states.. the indepents of every one, their believes 
their thoughts and feeling being differnt? if that is so, then i wonder why one would tell
another that this or that is not right  just because the person may not think it is.. so i
wonder.. where is the real freedom?

is the freedom what a person believes it to be for themselves as it is with some of us
subs, and slaves. we know the freedom of love and serving with our heart and soul
cause either that is how one was taught and believes or how one chooses to live their
lifes. with out all the pain of the world or restrictions of the way others would have us
 think and act and believe...

so know i ask .. who am i?

am i just a person not meant to be loved because my life is about serving , making
another happy and in return loven them with all my heart and being? does that make
me a bad and unworthy person?.....

I do not believe so... but a person to love  and know what love is...

thoughts of a slave...

even after many many years of being a slave. one that was raised as a slave at a very young age . it is still a wonderful thing to be and to learn. you are always growning and learning new things. be it someting you may never have done before or even a new owner and Master.

it is never easy. and we make mistakes with each of out steps  in learning. specially with a new owner. as hard as we may try  to do what is right. we still make mistakes and then we end up not only feeling like the crap that is flushed  away. but we feel like we are not good enough, not worthy,not pretty, not wanted, not needed, and not loved . either the mistake is ours or from another. we are the ones that pay that price.

when i was first put in this life and i had lost every thing i know. my home,my brother,my sisters, my relitives and friends. told that from this day forth all i knew was no more.that my life had changed. it now belong to another and was no longer mine to live. those words was hard for a young child to understand.
even today after 30 some years are hard to understand at times.  to learn on your own the simplest of things  you feel like you are on top of the world when if fact you are told you should not be proud of what you learned.

to be raised with in one way and not learning how to hate,or jelious. an then thrown ino a world where it is all around you in one way or another. to understand it  or attempt to understand your feelings, when you have only loved and pleased.can drive a person mad. to be thrown in a world that they may know nothing of.and so each day i struggle with am i good enough? am i loveable, why would any one love me? why am i here? for what means? to be beatting every day and know no love and tenderness? do i deserve the love and kindness of another?will i die from the next beatting? what happens now that my body is no able to take all the pain an owner thinks to put me through? will i be beatting for not being able to take the pain as well? will my next owner promise me the world i never had only to take it from me cause i am not worthy or good enough?

is there love out there for me or am i even ment to ever feel or be love? at what price is it paid? can i even now pay the price for the love and tenderness, the kinness, the gentleness ? is all my life am i only to know the harshness of the whip,or belt,or paddles, the clamps.fire,electric,of knifesrunning down your flesh as your blood follows the kiss of the blades..though i am not one for pain. i know if i do nto take it then i would be killed  or if i am lucky i would be lift out in a world of unknown ways.

so now what is one to do? left in a world that is unknown to her and the way she was raised. how does one make sure she is good enough and worthy...........