cbtsubman

On the exterior, I am pure masculine vanilla. I love the duality of the vanilla exterior, with the shared secret behind closed doors.

On this kind of connection--I kind of crave the genuine ability to trustingly explore our private depravity and perversion, to use the words of the vanilla world. To experience the excitement, and intensity of completely non-judgmental, and nakedly open pursuit, privately, of secret desires. As a sub, I have a need to be required to privately confess and confide my most secret, private, thoughts, fantasies, obsessions, desires, perversions--no matter how private, secret, perhaps shameful and embarrassing, nothing allowed to be hidden from my Dominant man. I crave that ability as one man to another, within Power exchange, to cultivate the hard wiring that only we understand, that hard wiring between the brain and the penis. It is that shared reality of Brain/penis, and the very real centrality that many men avoid even in this world--the centrality of penis, of being as penis centric together as possible. In my case, this penis IS me in so many ways---and it needs to be Owned, completely CONTROLLED in EVERY way, it needs to experience pain (not pleasure), denial, suffering---all of this so that YOUR penis (and brain) experience Power, Pleasure, so that when you want you can luxuriate, perhaps for hours sometimes, luxuriate in the stunning feeling or Your Erection. I seek the Dominant man who privately would know that I obsess about and know His penis more so than anyone ever has---that i know and crave every wrinkle, vein, and fold of skin. Hopefully this will make sense to that rare man who understands and likes this kind of wiring.

There is much much more i seek and have to say on this matter. But i will stop here. IF this is making sense to you, let's talk. IF none of this makes sense to you and is not the kind of connection you seek, just let me know.