CatKnight

Things change fast.

Our second day of scening didn't go quite so well.  *I* was forced to declare a "Red" when an old injury flared, so we simply lay there and cuddled, talking over what we hoped for and wanted.  I had - and have - an awful lot of questions and it was really the first time we started plowing through them.

The result was an informal contract:  What our play entailed, what the safewords were and specifics on what they meant (there was some confusion on Day 1), which safewords would effectively trigger 'scene protocol' in case one or the other of us wanted to do something, terms for 'correction' and so forth.

That lasted oh...two weeks.  Then my fiance wants to take this to the next level.  She doesn't want a top so much as she wants a Dom.

Recall we're talking about a man with about three months experience, most of it experimentation and fumbling about for answers.  A naturally shy person who's avoided confrontations most of his life. 

This set off a nice little crisis including a post for help on the "Ask a Master" subforum.  Being 'in charge' has done wonders for my confidence and assertiveness, and in some ways she DOES need a bit of a champion and some direction.  Her relationship with her family is..awkward.  However I kept imagining and fearing myself turning into some kind of monster.  You know the saying about power corrupts.

Fortunately several people managed to talk me down from my near fit and offered valuable advice.  Fortunately other threads popped up about the time mine did asking similar questions and I took comfort in what everyone had to say.  Then I went back to my fiance and specifically asked what she 'expected', and what she thought *I* should expect.  Better.  Better.  I can do this.  I hope.

We finally agreed that the best Doms are those who know what to expect because they've been on the other end, so we've reversed roles for two weeks.  So far she hasn't asked much of me....I sense strong reluctance.  I think her switching days might be coming to an end.  Still, I've already learned more.

This is turning into a very strange journey. 

Scene 1, Part 1 was relatively straight forward.  Or at least as straight forward as I get.

I spent most of Wednesday with my fiance, and we spent some time slowly, deliberately teasing each other into a near frenzy, again without orgasm.  She gets this mischievous look in her eyes when she knows she has me where she wants me.  At one point, in her most sultry voice she asked me if I was SURE I didn't want mercy.  It took me a full minute to tell her no.

As for her, her back is VERY sensitive to the lightest of touches.  A simple massage, lips near her ear and neck, pressing against her bottom was enough to drive her to the edge.

As for why all this torment....I wanted us both rather - well - desperate by Wednesday evening when we could be alone and 'scene.'  I placed her hands on the door, back to me and quietly ordered her not to move - roughly smacked her rump, then fondled her until the pain subsided, then pinched her nipples, alternating pleasure and pain.  Then I put on a collar - a choker from one of her outfits - and told her not to take it off without my permission.   Bound her wrists to her sides, blindfolded her, and led her to the bed.

Then I told her I was going to give her exactly what she wanted.  A few days ago in asking me to 'top' she said she wanted someone to 'take' her.  Alright.  After a little more fondling, building up the anticipation, I threw her on the bed and pounced.  Bound and blindfolded, she couldn't really do much but feel as I took her as roughly as I dared.

Later after we got the pent up energy out of our system, I used the necktie I'd bound her with to tease her skin.  Then, knowing she has a fairly high pain threshold and likes to be struck there, I lashed her pubus lightly.  She liked it.  Harder.  Alright.  Ordered her to roll over and struck hard.

Want to give your sub a mental image?  Lash him/her with a necktie, tied around one wrist and folded once (so the 'lash' is twice as thick) and attack them at full intensity.  The crack against skin is convincing...but it does almost no damage.  I was so sure I was hurting her I put a pillow to protect her tailbone.  Not necessary.  Later she showed me how it felt - despite a very sharp crack, it's almost a feather's touch.  Once I was convinced I COULDN'T hurt her, I lost myself in the energy of the moment and 'beat' her mercilessly.

As play ended for the night, more to establish the agreed upon power dynamic than anything, I told her to get comfortable, then when she'd picked her sleeping position lightly bound her wrists in place and tied them to the bed post before curling up and wrapping an arm around her.

Sometime later, half asleep, she rolled over.  Finding herself restrained, she removed it.  The dom in me wasn't pleased entering day 2...

And so it begins.  My first entry.

If you've read my profile, you've noticed I'm very new to all this.  My fiance isn't.  I suspect she's forgotten more than I know.  This might not be such a problem (and it really isn't, I'm just obsessing), but she seems to prefer letting me top - and the lack of knowledge and experience bugs me.  After all, I'm taking responsibility for directing a scene.  It might be amusing if I knew what I was doing.

That's one of the reasons I came here.  To learn at the knee (er...keyboard..) of people who know what they're doing.  And offer what little I HAVE learned.

Tonight I asked her - rhetorically - whether she minded having an inexperienced top that occasionally liked to bottom as a lover.  She told me she was just happy that I was willing to 'play,' thrilled that I seem to like 'doing things to her', and pleased I was willing to learn from other sources.

God I love her.