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Male Dominant, 49, Herndon, Virginia
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Female Switch, 26, OC, California
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About cakemaker
I am 45, soon to be 46, bbw, married and poly (no kids). My husband has full knowledge of what I am and what I do and he supports me in my choices (he is in the scene, but our styles and what we want don't mesh, so he has his partners, and I'm looking for mine).
With that out of the way.... I am looking for a dominant male, local to me, for face to face bdsm. I am not looking for a live in situation, 24/7 to relocate, for a "romantic" relationship or anything that is different from what I have currently. I am not looking for someone to take care of me, or "protect" me, or to mentor me. I am looking to ADD to my life, I'm not looking for a way out of what I already have. To be clear and blunt, I am in love with my husband, I have absolutely no intention of ever leaving. I simply want a long term bdsm play partner.
For this to happen, I am looking for someone who is poly, or at least understands the poly lifestyle. The person must understand that my relationship with my husband is my PRIMARY relationship. While he will not interfere in whatever I manage to find, he is my first priority. If he calls, I will answer. I am NOT interested in being part of a stable or a harem. I am not looking for someone to play with in secret. I will NOT be your secret or "sub on the side". I am looking for one on one play time on a regular basis. I am NOT interested in drama. I understand that people come with baggage (I have some of my own, as we all do); but I'm not really interested in on-going continuous drama. I don't need a micromanager. I have about 15 years of experience in the bdsm scene and I have enough experience to spot the "posers" and the "playas" I don't suffer either with much grace. As you can probably see, I'm not doormat, but I'm also not a brat. I'm just very plain spoken to the point of being rather brusque.
I am looking for someone who has a good sense of who they are and what they want from their life and this lifestyle. They must be emotionally stable. I'm not looking for someone with something to prove, or someone who needs to be "trained" or "shown". The person I'm looking for, should be able to function well within a scene or on a one to one basis. He should be competent in his role as a dominant as well as with whatever toys he has in his arsenal.
You must be willing and able to have daily contact (email, texts or IM). I am interested in finding someone willing to meet several times a month as schedules permit.
One last thing.. I am in no great hurry and am prepared for my search to take a while. I realize that what I want is the holy grail of the bdsm scene; but to be honest, I'm worth it. I have a lot to give to the right person; and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. Getting to know someone and building the trust it requires takes time.
My rules:
1. First meet is in public (just the two of us); safe calls in place.
2. Second meeting our respective partners are invited (also in public)
3. We play privately (no bondage); safe calls in place.
We go from here. If this won't work for you, then I wish you well.
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