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cagedenigma

cagedenigma - photo 1
cagedenigma - photo 3

Friends:
WarriorshrtTheGorenSocietysubkitty8Mindovermadamdatderguy
TrappedBoredombuba339
Domlifestyle
sharkhunter
Misterchuck
SEVENNINE
ropeNfire
every once in awhile a person has to make a decision that may not be the best at the time - it may be painful it may be icky but somewhere down the road it is the right thing - sometimes the pain it causes to self is worth it - these words may not be true today but one day they shall be - i have been through the ringer and the type of person i am will not surrender to that ... i am learning so much of self at this time - what i enjoy or what i was programmed to enjoy - learning life is painful ...but something i am needing to do -
i am not looking for a Master -

smiles - i enjoy being a babygirl to a slave to a woman - depending on the mood of the day ...

i have a twisted sense of humor that i have learned of and this sometimes gets me into trouble but what sweet ways to go ... smiles
lately this one has learned some bad habits and lost her way to who and hwat she was - a slave without guidelines and rules can be a dangerous thing ..


4/27/2008 9:19:12 AM
this one hasnt been on in a long time - her battle with cancer and for life has brought so many changes - she lives with hope and fights daily - 

as to her progress in her journey - shes still lost - finding as she continues the journey of self searching she g ets more lost and more confused - i.e. how can a slave tell a Master what she feels if Hes in control of her feelings?  how can a slave have an opinion if He's suppose to own everything ? if a Master says He's right and the slave has a different opinion - is it lying to agree with Him?
these are just some of the pondering that goes thru this ones mind as this one journeys farther into the human side - shes come to 1 conclusion though - that life was better and simpler when she was doormatted and not having choices to make - it ruined a good slave in her opinion ...because now i question everything and have no control over thoughts and again dont have a clue on who or what i am suppose to be --

thank You to All the Dominants and subs/slaves that have sent me well wishes those have kept me going


3/26/2006 2:15:33 PM
well life sometimes throws curve balls and we dont always understand them until they happen - "did i do okay - was it worth it? did i make a difference? was i pleasing?" this is the thought pattern of a slave confused and fighting for a battle not sure how to fight ... her choices are unlimited but how does a slave make a choice ? when one is learning to feel to laugh to love how does she know the answers that are buried deep inside are not the dreams but actually the reality?
AmandaBlack
 
 Age: 19
 Salt Lake City, Utah