Buzzed

I do some photography as a hobby and I was thinking of heading down to Haw Par Villa to shoot some pics. For those who don't know, Haw Par Villa is a "tourist attraction", but it must be one of the strangest, weirdest and creepiest attractions around. Last time I was there was years ago when I was just a kid and I don't remember much about that visit except that it creeped me out. Those of you who have visited the park will know what I mean.

So anyways, I packed my trusty camera and headed down on a slow weekday. The place is still open to the public and its kinda run down, but I like that as it only adds to its creepiness. There was hardly anyone there which was great, I get annoyed with crowds.

Haw Par Villa is known generally for its sculptures depicting Chinese mythology and its most "famous" exhibit is known as "The ten courts of hell". This exhibit depicts the different levels of hell where sinners are judged and various forms of punishment are carried out. The punishments are pretty gruesome, there are various forms of torture and these are shown explicitly. You see sculptures of people being sawn in half, limbs being torn off, people being crushed under boulders or grinded up, and a whole host of other tortures. Not a pretty sight.

Strange thing is, when I was walking around snapping my shots, I remembered seeing these sculptures when I first visited the park as a kid and being fascinated by them. Sure I was creeped out, its hard not to be when you're a kid and you're seeing these tortures in such graphic detail (and the demons who inflict these tortures are pretty scary too!) However, I also remember being strangely attracted to the sight of the figurines being tied up. Some of them were tied up with ropes, other hogtied, some had chains on them. Even at that young age, I recall being….whats the right word here…. I guess fascinated. I even dare say turned on. Imagine being a kid, in this scary place surrounded by figures of demons inflicting gruesome tortures, the message clearly being that one should lead a "good" or "moral" life or else these are the tortures that await you and I was walking around with a hard on. Talk about being confused.

Anyways, I left the "Ten courts" and walked around to take more shots. There are tons of other exhibits, some continuing with the Chinese mythology while others just defy any explanation. As I walked around, I noticed more depictions of bondage. There was one exhibit that, quite literally, stopped me in my tracks. It depicted Chinese looking maidens (or prostitutes according to the information plaque) that had caught a man and were tying him up. As I followed the exhibit, it showed the man being tied to what looked like an A-frame while the women gathered around him. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I could swear I saw this before when I visited the place as a kid. The memory came flooding back. My dick turned to stone.

Maybe I was just making up a "new memory", I can't discount that fact, but I am certain I saw that exhibit before. I certainly remember the "Ten courts" better, images like those are hard to forget. However, this exhibit of the maidens tying a guy up, is something I recalled vividly once I saw it. Perhaps this is where my Oriental MILF mistress fetish started? I do recall some incidents in my childhood which helped me form my interest in BDSM, I have mentioned these in my earlier posts, but Haw Par Villa is what flashbacks are made of!

Anyhows, I really enjoyed my time there, on so many different levels! I will probably be heading down sometime again soon, it just such a treasure trove for photographers. (and for folks with a different bent.:)

Received a really nice email the other day. Well written and polite, it was a pleasure to chat with this person at length. Shared stories about play, this site, journal entries and so on. We never spoke about meeting up (considering she is based in the states, that pretty much rules out any chance of a meet at the moment) but just having a good conversation like that makes things interesting. I learned a few things and vice versa. Its a shame that emails and folks like these are few and far between.

Comparatively, I got another email on the same day. Just one sentence, "chat on yahoo". Ok, sure, perhaps that might be better i thought. Went over to yahoo, chatted on messenger and, my gawd, what a waste of time! Mono syllabic answers, illogical requests and worse yet, suggested meeting up yet refused to exchanged contacts. I mean you're ready to submit yourself to a Dom yet when I asked to exchange contacts, she said "i scare." Not scared to play, but scared to exchange contacts. Yeah right. Great way to build trust isn't it? 

Now I'm sure sone folks are thinking "of course! You're a male Dom and she's a female sub. Naturally she'd be worried". Fair enough, but trust is a TWO way street. Even as a Dom, I need to trust my playmate. I need to trust she knows what she is getting into, I need to trust that she will not flake out, and, most importantly, i need to trust that she trusts me. That is key! I am not comfortable about playing with someone who does not trust their Dom. Thats why I refuse to ever jump into anything based of a single conversation. Trust needs time to build and be earned. BOTH WAYS. Now, I'm sure some folks couldn't care less, they are ready to jump into anything, anytime. Great. Good for you. I hope you know what you are doing and I hope you stay safe and enjoy yourself. Me personally, I like my sessions to be more then physical, there is a mental aspect to play that I personally find more exciting. Giving yourself up, even to someone you trust, can be a worrisome proposition. There is that element of fear, that cloud of not knowing what is in store for you; in other words, sometimes the wait can be sweeter then the action. And that can only happen if you trust your partner to do to you what you want and sometimes even push the boundaries, doing things that you don't. Safely. Sanely. Only then, when the sesssion ends and you're still in one piece, can you honestly say you've experienced something unique.

But what do I know. I'm just a dude on a website.

Dimwits galore!! Thats my opinion based of the emails and conversation (if i can call them conversations) i've had. You can get a sense of it just by reading the profiles in here. And its obvious i'm not the only one who thinks so, a few folks have resorted to spelling things out in CAPS just to keep these dimwits at bay. 

This may come across as arrogance, but heck, I'd rather be thought of as such then be one of the many useless dumbasses in here. 

But that isn't as bad as the rudeness! Nothing infuriates me more then someone lacking basic courtesy and respect. I'm sure the regulars in here know what i'm talking about. 

I know I'm ranting, but heck, its so infuriating! I need to flog someone now. ;)

So I got a room thats soundproofed.. One can scream their lungs out in complete comfort and safety, needing not worry about what the neighbours might think. That happens to be quite a concern in Singapore, neighbours are always close by and who knows what they must be thinking if they hear someone screaming in pain or begging for mercy. It wasn't cheap to soundproof it, but i think its money well spent. I hesitate to call it a dungeon, i would expect a dungeon to be much bigger then what i have and stocked with more then just a few toys. i'm pretty happy with the room, except for the minor little details of not having a good sub to play with! Irony!

I've recently been thinking of exploring more latex, breath play, especially gas masks. Problem is, as far as I know, gas masks are actually an controlled item in SG! One can't purchase it locally, and you cant ship one in. Well, you can actually, but if you get caught...

I've used gas mask before, this was way back when during my military days. I actually enjoyed using it, especially when you're supposed to check for leaks... one had to cut off the air supply to check if there were any leaks. I used to do a very THROUGH test. Multiple times. ;)

Wonder if gas masks are still an controlled item. Only in Singapore does one have to do this kind of research to play!

So I was watching some porn the other day (to get ideas!!) and I was rather impressed with whats available. I used to watch 'insex' quite a bit, I always loved their interpretation of BDSM. It seemed really extreme back in the day, but I was always turned on by it. On other sites, I get annoyed when i click on a clip entitled 'BDSM' only to find its only some girl's hands bound pathetically with rope which comes off in the first 30 seconds, followed by 45 minutes of vanilla sex. BDSM it is not. And of course there is the other extreme (the stuff from 'torture galaxy' comes to mind) where I actually cringe at the amount of pain and torture inflicted.

I've found the local scene a bit like this (scene as in what i've experienced myself anyways). Its either someone looking for vanilla sex (albeit a little kinky) or some full on-no hold barred-no limits-anything goes-with a complete stranger. Perhaps I am being fussy, but then again, if someone is gonna get tied up and restrained, then one should be!

Or maybe I just haven't been pro active enough.

I'm a bit of a film buff so thank god for the internet! Living in Singapore means one rarely has access to good films but thanks to the internet, I've been able to watch great films i had only just heard about previously. I'm not talking about porn, thats easily available no doubt, rather about films which flirt the line between art and self indulgence. I remember one of the first films that introduced me to BDSM, Videodrome. I watched it on TV i think, or perhaps it was a rented VHS, either way, i was pretty young and the film left quite an impression. I remember feeling strange about how the S&M i was seeing interested me, even more so considering how videodrome was such a trippie film. Talk about getting confusing signals during your informative years, I'm pretty certain that film helped shape my thinking, or atleast give me something to think about!

 There have been some really excellent films over the years (starting from the 1930s no less!) that have no doubt shaped modern cinema. I'm not necessarily talking about the current crop of slasher/new french extremist/ torture porn/ hollywood "lets feed a market and make big bucks" exploitation films, i myself have been rather surprised to learn how some films have been pushing the boundaries for years.

 I just saw "blood sucking freaks" again today and it never fails to amuse me. Not for the gore (which surprisingly I'm not really a fan of) but just the ability of the film to be able to amuse, entertain and tell a story. Which at the end of the day, good films tend to do.