ButterflySoul

So I recently (5 minutes ago) received a message that literally said "one picture = fake".

And that's fine, being that it's your opinion.  But I've lost almost 70 pounds and the only pictures I have are face pictures, and I wont post them here.  For people who I talk to regularly...well, they know what I look like by now.

Give me a break.

FetchDaddysBelt

So...I may have used my sarcasm to get this guy to go away...and he may have believed me when I said I was a big black dude.  No offense to big black dudes, I love you all.  I just don't feel like I need to prove myself to anyone.

If you're a moron like this guy, please don't message me.  He's posting our "convo" on the "message boards".  Considering I've been on webcam in the videochat-room on this site, I think my sex has been verified.

So I'm not a "little girl" and I certainly do not want or need a "Daddy".  I have absolutely nothing against that D/s dynamic, and I find it fascinating and I am sometimes (keyword here is sometimes) jealous that I can not experience whatever feelings or emotions a "little girl' can.  I have had my traumatic past and experiences, and I have yet to revert into a younger age to compensate for growing up too fast.  Sometimes I wish I could.  Sometimes.

I just wanted to clarify this, along with my profile, for anyone who might confuse me with someone who could ever...and I repeat- EVER - have the same mindset and live in a relationship as a "little girl".

Good luck.

So, I have some friends in the scene here in NY who identify as Gorean.  I respect this, I admire this, and I can understand some of the basic principles.  I have never and will never read the books, I don't have enough time in my days for that, but I'm learning as I talk to my friends (some of which practice high protocol, while others just follow a basic structural relationship).  Anyway, this post isn't about Gor, not really.  One of my acquaintances is a slave, to her heart and soul, and I respect her so much for it...and she wrote a post about feeling something called "slave fire".  I may not be a Gorean slave, but if a slave is someone who feels that way, then a slave I am.

I have a desire, a LONGING, to fall to my knees for a certain kind of man.  I would placate myself there, happily, and await instruction for someone who deserved it, in my eyes, by doing no more than breathing.  Now, I also believe in mutual respect, and if there is no respect or trust, then there is no footing for a D/s or M/s relationship for me.  I am no service slave, I guess you could call me a love slave?  When I say love slave...well, to put in plainly, I am a slave for love.  If the love is there...shared between us, there is almost nothing I wouldn't do.   I am independent and resourceful and I do not NEED anyone, but I live for that feeling.  That desire to submit, to be owned, to belong to someone who desires me as much as I desire him?

Someone once told me that this doesn't exist, that I'm a fool...but I've felt it.  Unfortunately, I'm feeling it now (for the wrong person- of course), and though I know this will only end in disaster I can't help but know that THIS is the feeling that I want.  Ultimately, I want passion...that's why I researched BDSM and joined munches and groups in the first place, so I could follow this fire that started burning inside of me.

Ok, that's really it, it was on my mind and I wanted to get it out.