Collarspace.com

Horizontal Line
Vertical Line
Horizontal Line

Horizontal Line

butterflymaiden

butterflymaiden - photo 1
butterflymaiden - photo 2
butterflymaiden - photo 3
butterflymaiden - photo 4

Horizontal Line

Friends:
LadyDeliciousLordShivaUTMasterfisher169MasterBenedict
GntledomHouseofBearTimberBeastSirMichealGaDungeonDom
DomInDallasGAMasterRickfordNoblespuppyNaturalMaster1MaisonValmont
MindsDesireMace69Tieddreams101devonjadeSkroome
thegreekwolfDesoletMasterJim710002schleyiii

Horizontal Line

Vertical Line

I am a kinkster, a thinker, a quick witted student of life, with a cunningly creative mind.

Whilst I am compassionate,gentle, caring,sensuous and broadminded. I'm also a Woman that is Rubenesque, a vivacious, curvy, confident, tactile & BeautiFULL.
I've gotten past the point of discovering my identity. Discovering who I truly am has given me strength. Inner strength that cannot be stolen, or taken away. It is constant, present with every breath. The strength I speak of, it has given me the ability to strive to please from both sides of the leash.
As a submissive, I know the true meaning of service, I strive to please, in all capacities. However, do not let this be misconstrued as one to be "Used", because I distinctly know the difference.
Through the years, down the road of my own submission, I have made a many of friends, both near and dear to my heart.
I truly and totally understand, the meaning of "Being oneself"...

I belong and go to the Whimper Munch - West Atlanta Munch http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHIMPER

Be Well, and I do wish you well on your journey...

No Motion - Without the Emotion...~c Want to make an impression?Use Your wit, not Your cock size, or what You will do to this Woman's pussy, for those sentiments get ignored quickly!!!

Horizontal Line

4/30/2008 4:03:15 PM
It was supposed to be Non Emotional...

Didn't turn out to be that way...


As the years past,
closer and closer
everyday...

Harboring feelings
Hurt...

It hurt even more
when i knew
that
it
wasn't
just
one
sided...


The way You would smile;
The way You touched me;
The way You kept me safe.

The way You lifted me up;
The way You touched my soul;
The way You gave me strength.


You showed it all...

Then...


i did one of the most insensate things...

i turned You away;
i shut off all communication;
i went about my way.

One thing holds true to this day,

You taught me well;
You taught me how to love;
You taught me how to love myself.


i've often wondered if we stayed together
back then...

Where would we be today?

Would we still be lovers?
Would we still be loving without emotion?
Would we still be talking?

One thing still holds true to this day

No Regrets
No Regrets
No Regrets


Cause i've loved You every single day...


Sweet Surrender - Sarah Mclachlan

it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

and sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

you take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
are you an angel
am I already that gone
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees

and sweet
sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

sweet
sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

and I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
oh I miss everything

it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room


~c

4/17/2008 6:18:36 PM
In the beginning, i was already broken. A submissive, not knowing what she was, till He come along.

a name given so long ago, na'jah -

He shaped me, molded me into His beautiful slave...
To hear Him whisper, na'jah... sent goose bumps down her spine...

In the darkness of her release, she became strong, He told her as He walked out the door, "Be Strong"..

i did, i become strong...

Now, as circumstances are changing in the light of finally breaking down the walls of communication.

i find myself full of all types of emotions...
fighting myself...

The Shadows blocked the Sun for so long, i missed His voice, the lines in His face, the beauty of His smile...

Why do i cry?
why?
He asked today, "Are you happy"?
without a doubt, i am
Then why do you cry?
i'm letting go, do You understand, You put this in me,...

i've held You in my arms, i know i can't survive another night without You...
Everynight, got longer, did You not hear my call?
No sooner would i meet someone, and i was comparing them to You...
You may have released me - but i didn't release myself from You -
Do You Understand?...

i love You
i loved You all of these years...

i don't want to be by myself anymore...
i want You...


Right here, right now
i give my life to live again
i'll break free, take me
My everything i surrender all to You...


YOU put this in me...

beg Me for what you want

i want You, Master, the Master of my heart, the Master of my soul,...i want You

i Love You...

Do you think you can tell Me you love Me without cumming at least once in the middle of it?

sigh,,,
~c

2/27/2008 2:25:16 PM
This has been rambling around in my mind for the past couple of days... So i Googled it for the clinical explanation...

Definition of Mentor:

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a mentor as "a trusted counselor or guide." "a wise, loyal advisor or coach."

The History of a Mentor:

The original Mentor is a character in Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey. When Odysseus, King of Ithaca went to fight in the Trojan War, he entrusted the care of his kingdom to Mentor. Mentor served as the teacher and overseer of Odysseuss’ son, Telemachus.

Application:

A mentor is an individual, usually older, always more experienced, who helps and guides another individual’s development. This guidance is not done for personal gain.

"The Mentor's role typically becomes that of an advisor, confidant, and counselor. As such, the Mentor holds a position of trust and is ethically, morally, and socially obligated not to take advantage of that trust (i.e. seek their own sexual gratification, etc...)."

If people come to me seeking mentorship i'll ask them to clearly define what they are looking for in a mentor since i want to know we are on the same page. If we are, then we can proceed to establish just what it is they wish to learn and if indeed we are both interested in similar outcomes. It is not about finding a partner or play toy. Which so many lose sight of that... It is not about power. It is not about control. And it is not about sex. It is about teaching, sharing and learning.

It is not all about "lifestyle" but rather about life in general with some of the applications being more obviously kinky than others. Mentoring is one of the ways to learn more from those who have more experience. Yyou may or may not choose to do things in the manner that you have been taught but Yyou will have expanded your views and possibly your horizons.

So i have a problem with Tthose that, say they are a Mentor... BUT have a closed mind to different aspects of the BDSM lifestyle... When they put down how others have obtained to where they are in their life, and most of all, put them down for being so... So, when Yyou say Yyour a Mentor, look up the meaning first.... Okay?...

i am not saying MY way is the right way, heavens forbid, because goodness i've made mistakes, i don't profess i know everything, because i don't,, all i do know it is what got me to where i am, i am happy with it. So don't go knocking HOW Oothers got to where Tthey are,,, just be thankful they got there in one piece...

It's all about Love in it's purest form,, isn't it?

Blessed be,,

me~c

6/23/2007 3:47:21 PM
i'm sure you've heard of "Shark Frenzy",,, when a piece of fish or viable other forms of food are all of a sudden present. The sharks go into the "OMGosh there's food" sort of frenzy, where they thrash about feeding/biting on anything that is around them.

In my own personal journey, oh yes, i've seen this, as well,, yes even i have experienced this "frenzy"... But now that i got things under control, and can control my needs, so they don't seem so compelling, so "OMGosh, i wonder if He's a Dom"....

It's hurtful in new relationships, or shall i say it can be, because the submissive and or the Domiant (Yes You too can experience this),, because its new, the feelings the understandings are new to Yyou, and in doing so, its the "I gotta know all about it right NOW"

Here is an excerpt of a story that i found on the web, sometime ago, and i use it when i talk to new Dom's and subs alike....


Once upon a time there was a submissive.. not that young but not that old. She was suffering from a "disease" known as "sub frenzy". She had learned about this wonderful world of BDSM on BBS (predating the internet) and wanted more than anything to actually experience it. Not in a month… not in a week from now.. but NOW!! She had been chatting with a Dominant on line.. for all of a couple of weeks… and decided to take Him up on His offer for coffee.
She was seated at a table nervously sipping her coffee when the Dominant walked into the restaurant. He came over to her table and sat down. The first words out of His mouth were…. "whom did you tell that you were coming here?" Thinking He was cross with her.. she was delighted to inform Him that no one knew where she was.. or what she was doing! He pointed a finger at her and said "you foolish, foolish woman! No respectable Dominant would want to take on a submissive who was as foolish as you appear to be" The submissive's face fell, her heart nearly stopped beating. The Dominant then went into a lengthy lecture on the hazards of meeting Dominants, with lots of gruesome details. The submissive was shaken. Then the Dominant told her she would go home and in a few days one of His submissives would contact her. From that time on she was to do only what she was told to do by this submissive. She was NOT to meet any other Doms… nor was she to repeat this mistake ever again.

This submissive was very lucky. She had found an honest reputable Dominant who believed in safety first in all things. This submissive spent a wonderful year being trained by the submissive who contacted her. She learned many different things but the most important lesson she learned was safety first!

What has troubled me over these past years are the anxious eager submissives, all suffering from this "sub frenzy". And believe it or not.. they are not all newbies. No… some are seasoned submissives, who take unnecessary risks.

What do i speak of, time after time?.... Safety!

  • safe sane consensual - these are not just words.. they should be branded into our very souls!
  • do NOT be hurried into a first phone call .. or first meeting.. or first session.. or first anything!!! remember a reputable Dom will want to have time to get to know you !!
  • safe calls … tell someone where you are going.. when you are going and when you expect to be home… phone that person 2 or 3 times . have a password that you will use each time you phone.. coercion can happen… be prepared…. make sure the person knows how you are traveling.. by bus.. by car - give them the license number and make and model of your car… and any and all details/information you have on the Dominant you are meeting.
  • educate….. do not wait for some Dominant to teach you…. educate yourself know what interests you.. what scares you.. what you want..
  • limits/negotiations …. have some limits! it does not make you any less submissive if you have limits.. state them clearly! and yes it is ok to re-negotiate those limits after time…. things change . needs change … limits change.. but it is still important to have them!
  • safe words - so many submissives feel that they are less of a submissive if they need / use a safe word. A reputable Dominant should insist on some form of safe word.
  • network - get out there and meet other submissives.. so many submissives, in their hurry to find a Dominant, forget about the sister/brotherhood of other submissives .. a wealth of information and support.



Remember, if i can teach you one thing out of this,,, Stay Safe, BE safe.... Play safe!

~c

6/9/2007 5:00:21 PM
Actually this time away from the PC, has been a good thing... i've been working (as usual), but i'm also working on my Tan..

Needless to say, my daughter will be gone for two whole weeks to Ft. Benning starting tomorrow night,... i'm not sure how i feel about it, but this is something she wants to do... GO for it was my answer...

So two whole weeks, what is a lil girl like me, going to do?... grins..

i'm still without internet (thanks to Ms. Bitch), but, i can sometimes connect using my little wifi hookup, thru my neighbhors connection.. giggles...

Well, gotta go,,, till i get back...

Take care, and take care of each other...

*blows a kiss...

me~c

6/4/2007 7:18:51 PM
This beautiful wounded beast...

From a distance she watches with a close eye the features of Him...

her heart yearns for Him and this confuses her she looks at Him, is it... You?

..His rugged looks...

..that devilish smiles that haunts her dreams...

..His voice..

..His very being...

.. His existence...

all she knows is that there is a guilty desire for anything that has to do with this Man,...



5/26/2007 6:16:40 PM
It takes more than a mere girl,
To smile through her tears
To pick herself up again,
And continue to persevere

It takes more than a mere girl,
To face her every fear
To overlook the negative—
Every glare and every sneer

It takes more than heartbreak
To break her

It takes more than one storm
To shake her

It takes more than a chain
To make her—

Stay down—
She can take more than that

It takes a joyful girl,
To keep on singing along
When her days darken,
And everything goes wrong

It takes a joyful girl,
To know were she belongs
Neither wind nor rain can stop her,
She lets nothing hush her song

It takes more than heartbreak
To break her

It takes more than one storm
To shake her

It takes more than a chain
To make her—

Stay down—
She can take more than that

It takes a secure girl,
To see that she’s not plain
To know that she is priceless,
And not throw her life down the drain

It takes a secure girl,
To let go of her pain
To conquer every trial,
And break off every chain

It takes more than heartbreak
To break her

It takes more than one storm
To shake her

It takes more than a chain
To make her—

Stay down—
She can take more than that

Every girl is an angel,
Her heart is her wings
Some are set free to fly,
Others are tied down by strings

Every girl is an angel,
Free to dance and free to sing
She’s allowed to enjoy every moment,
And the happiness life does bring

It takes an angel girl,

To remember what she forgave

To cast away her bitterness,

And not become its slave...

~c

*this is not my own but it speaks volumes...

5/26/2007 5:28:47 PM
In the past week, my frowns have turned to smiles, my tears have been dried up, even by unsuspecting people, messages that come forth, from people, who i have no idea that has been reading my blog...

Giving me insight, besides, the obvious, (kickin some serious assage)...

i've been cordial, nice, and even asked when the water bill was due. Yyou see, i will have a clear conscience,, i can sleep at night,, funny, she's having nightmares, i'm not...

OKay,, i've remained silent about this, and really not sure if i should open my mouth about this or not...

I sold my Camaro (pouting)... Why you ask?... In keeping up with the times, and of course with the gas money hitting well into the almost $3.50 mark, and i'm having to watch every single penny that comes into My house, as well as, making the lil stinker squeak like hell, leaving my hand...

This past Saturday, i bought a New/Used car, one that is more "Mommified" as my employee's at work put it (thou' i've never fit into the role as being "Mommified"). Yesterday in fact, was asked by one of my fellow employee's, "Who was driving that Purple Camaro",, i was silent for a bit, and then, out of my mouth come "Me"... The look of shock,, "You?"... Yes Me, it's mine, i have the title to it!... But i had to sell it, because of the gas, and that lil turnabout i did on my way home, (gave it a lil too much gas, and did a side slippage, and well, before i knew it,, i did a nice lil fancy turnabout in the middle of a busy intersection),,, Funny how staring death in the face, will quickly make you change your mind on how "Hot" you look in the car.

Well, i'm the proud owner (okay so is the finance company) of a 2002 Chevy Malibu'...

So, there you have it...

Now, onto to some things that have been going on at work,,, seems i've been titled the "Closet Freak",,, smirkin' they have no idea now do they?...

One of the women in the office had gotten her belly button pierced, i won't do that, not until my tummy gets a lil flatter than what it is now, they were all asking her if it hurt?,, here i am, sitting at my desk, a nice lil springy dress, looking all June Wardish, and she said "It hurt like hell", i said, "Nah, not the intial piercing, it's the healing that sorta hurts", they all snapped their heads around, made it look like i sprung forth a head with snakes all up on it,,, she looked at me, and said, "What do you have pierced",,, i said, point blank... "My Nipples"... The jaws dropped, and the ooOooOoo's and aaaaahhhh's and now either i get called "Nips" or "Closet Freak"... Its a hoot,, i very much enjoy what i'm doing, there's no stress going into work, and nill to none on the way home...

As far as the roommate thing, well things are status quo, she said however, she's not moving out till "August", so we'll see, regardless, i have an alternate plan hidden up my sleeve, and just about every County Mounty, ready and willing and able with a whole fleet of trucks willing to move me, and my stuffage (or so they say - let me put it that way)...

So, it's Status Quo, we'll see now won't we?

*blows kisses,,

~c

5/20/2007 7:03:16 PM
In the past few days/weeks/months, i have entrusted my fate, my daughter's fate, in a "Co-habitation", with whom i thought was my friend.

My trust issue's are gone, i'm afraid to make decisions based upon "Trust", its just not going to happen.

i'm afraid of getting hurt, i'm afraid of "Living" in something that i give every ounce of myself to, and getting it snatched out from up under me.

i know it's going to be okay,,, but this is how i feel.

i trusted my roommate and now, the validation of our friendship is gone, completely. i come home, there's nothing here...

The only thing that is here, is my daughter.

my roommate and myself do not speak to one another, and i am a creature of conversation, i talk, it's part of who i am...

i cried yesterday, really cried, i feel like i've failed... That in of itself is not easy to handle. i've been doing good for so long, and to trust someone WHO i thought was a friend, that would not do this to me, who would not use me, who would not disrupt My House.

So at this particular time, even thou' the need is there,, to surrender, to let go, to be who i am,, i can't, not until i get my life in order,, get My House,,, Straight...

If my house is not straight, then i'm not straight, i can't fully let go, without harboring thoughts of things to come, in the future that is, that comes from me... i'll have other thoughts, analyzing myself, and the things that are going on around me. And it would be selfish of me, to say that i can, and truly not be able to give my mind over, and i'm having to worry about other things.

It would be selfish of me, and i can't do that to a Person, regardless...

This is me,, simply me...

To my Ffriends that know me, (in both RealTime, and in phone)...i thank Tthee from the bottom of my heart, for letting me vent, cry, and just tell the stuff, that is not in my blogs. i want Yyou to know that i appreciate Yyou and Yyour friendship....and that i do Love Yyou...

Thank Yyou,,
*blows a kiss...

~c

5/16/2007 7:59:53 PM
Does it get any easier?..  To find that One, that understands what Ds is about?...  It's not about the easy sex, it's not just about the spanking...  Its the all in between, the magic between those Ppeople.  The feelings that start to happen, that blossom, that eventually in the end,, leads to "Letting Go",, to be WHO Yyou are,, not what Oother's think Ds is about..



4/12/2007 5:09:48 AM
a night out on the town with friends
 
Started off to one place
 
Ended up in another
 
A dark seedy place
one that she does not frequent to often
a place of nameless faces
 
nameless sex
 
to curb the appetite
 
promiscuous to some
dangerous to others
 
In safe company, she sat, away from her group, knowing only time will tell, a few drinks, non-alcoholic to keep her head about her, a Man, has been glancing..
 
A smile
 
A wink
 
A conversation
 
"My name is"
 
she put her fingers to his lips,
 
"no names"
 
He knew
 
she knew
 
exactly
what
she was doing
 
Glass of Wine
two
three
 
Watching the nameless faces
 
The touches became real
 
the close talk of lips
 
pursed
 
a kiss
 
so deep
 
her legs parted
 
He knew
she knew
 
They stepped out
smoky room
 
They walked along a path
to a tree they stopped
 
"Is this what you want"
 
Yes, she whispered
 
He thrusted
she opened
 
nameless face
a number give
a number thrown away
 
a desire fulfilled
 
Passion has Red Lips....

 
~c2007
 

1/11/2007 10:17:10 AM
i want to be mysterious.
i want Someone to look into my eyes
And not be able to read them.
i want Someone to ask me questions
Someone to pull out my secrets.
i want Someone to want to know me
Someone to want me.
i want Someone to embarrass me
Someone to make me smile when i don’t want to.
i want Someone to be my friend
Someone to seduce me.
i want Someone to touch me
Someone to run their fingers through my hair.
i want Someone to love me
Someone who wants to be loved by me...

© Copyright Wendy2006

12/21/2006 12:03:58 PM
Nobody understands the heart,
How to unravel it,
Where to start
To release the secrets,
To reveal the sides
of Oourselves that we shelter
In arrogant pride.

Only a Master knows the human heart,
How the embers glow
And the fire starts,
And the fire grows
Like a rose in bloom
Surrendering
The fire consumes...

~c
 

5/10/2006 7:26:19 AM
Going to New York  in September, looking forward to my vacation (well earned i will say)......  Going to Visit family and friends..  Then being a guest to a Huge ALT gathering at Paddles...~smiles~ 

We (daughter and myself) are well, she's graduating and moving onto her Junior Year... sigh,, seems like yesterday she was born... 

Take care Aall... Be Well

3/16/2006 5:01:15 PM
Just one word... ~whatfreakingever~

3/7/2006 12:09:04 PM
she smiles... girls this is for you, not for me.. you have made me proud,, soon enough, the nightmares will stop, the calls will cease, and,, most of all,, girls.... you can heal....  remember treat Oone another as Yyou would like to be treated,,... blows kisses...

3/5/2006 10:14:14 AM
There is one before Uus,,, that is NOT a Dom,, an abuser,,... i have kept silent till now.... for those Wwho know of whom i speak of..... contact me.... she smiles.. i have a case number... Tthey will listen!

1/20/2006 6:51:00 PM
~Things are a bit confusing for me at this particular time~~...  Thou' confusing is a general word,,, i will discuss it with those, that do understand me, and that i have been talking with....  Aall others that have been sending emails and such,,, they are being noted, and saved for later replies,, just now,, i need to speak with those,, that i have been talking with.... 

Be Well...

1/15/2006 1:39:26 PM
"We're never so  vulnerable than when Wwe  trust someone ~~ but paradoxically , if Wwe can not trust, neither can Wwe find love or joy..." 

Walt Anderson

1/1/2006 3:03:06 AM
Happy New Year to Oone and Aall..May the blessing of the New Year bring Yyou many happy times!! 

Be Well...

12/15/2005 5:47:18 PM
Last nite, I was able to attend a Meet n' Greet/my Birthday party.  Trying to deal with Lord's passing...  I was greeted by many, both in and out of the lifestyle...  This years Meet n' Greet was much smaller than last year,  90 plus last year, this year, the head count was 30.  But this year, were those that have been constant in MY life.  Friends, who have stuck beside me, thru the ins and outs, and have really emphasized to me what TRUE friendship is all about.  Oone's that don't walk away, when i goof up, Oone's that listen to me, when i cry, whine or moan.  Yes, I am a single mother (parent) and in today's day and age, it is difficult to be the ONLY one working and supporting a two person household.  Thou' Yes, I have been doing it for 8 months, and a time or two, i've had to had help, but, I have always been grateful, appreciative if Yyou will. 

Now, onto the precious gifts I recieved...  Some of Yyou know, i collect shot glasses,  in doing so, i recieved 2 beautiful shot glasses, 1 from whom i asked for one, the other, a most mysterious woman in whom i've never had the pleasure of meeting.  Then from a new and dear friend of mine, a coffee cup, smiles.. i belong to a chat site, and each morning, whether i've worked the nite before or, working that day sometime, i take some time out of my busy life, and chat with these people.  We call ourselves the *Coffee Crew*....  Well, i am constantly getting up and typing before i leave the room >> brb, more coffee<<....  This man who i will call brutus, who has in fact lately has been a Father figure to me,,,,  bought me a lovely Chiauhaua Coffee cup that holds not but 1 cup of coffee, but two.  smiles....  Now, onto the best birthday present....  You see, my Master many years ago, did something for me, altered a body part, instead of having, round nipples, i have square, perfectly square nipples.  A Dominate Male, in whom i'm very close too, but because of my having a child, and her being underage, He prefer for me to wait till she reached majority, to make sure i was ready, and to be able to grow Oour friendship.  He is as real as my Master was...  i adore Him..  He has three other girls, smiles...  in which i do also adore all three of them.  They each are beautiful souls... in whom one day, i would be proud in calling them my sisters.   But to my surprise as a birthday present i was presented with clamps, just like the clamps that my Master had me wear to alter my nipples.  This was the most personal gift that i have recieved in such a very long time.   i do adore Tthem, they are precious to me...  besides,,, Sir and the girls have never been to a Meet n' Greet,, He said,, * Wwe are here, not for them, but for you...*... warm smiles...  He made me forget about *Life* there for those 2 hours i was with Tthem...



12/13/2005 4:48:40 AM
A day, that was to bring me much happiness has left me utterly devestated.  A few months ago, i started conversing with a very fine Gentleman.  Before Wwe could meet, He had to travel to His homeland and take care of some business... 

This morning, when i opened my email, i found a notification that He had written, i jumped, sort of startled.  It had been 2 weeks since i have heard anything of Him.  i was so happy, a smile broadened upon my face, it was Lord, He was going to tell me of the beautiful land that He was in, painting a picture of it, again, as Yyou will. 

But opening the mail, a quick gladness turned to sadness... A letter, was written not by Lord, but of His cousin.  It seems that Lord, two weeks ago, was in a Motorcycle accident...  which left Him hospitalized for the past two weeks...  Only if i had of known,..  i never doubted Lord's affections towards me...  He told me to wait, i waited for Him, patiently.  Only striking up idle conversations with One or Two.... 

On my Birthday, December 13th, 1983... This started a chain of events, i had lost a very near and dear friend of mine,.. The following Year, i lost my GrandMother, on the very same date, the following Year, i lost another friend... The list goes on and on,,, Each Year, those who i cherish most, seem to... go away....  What does a girl do?....

A Day that is supposed to be so happy for me, has turned to great sadness.... 

i'll be taking a break.... 

Thank Yyou all for all Yyour well wishes, and of the sort...  It's time, for this girl to heal.... 

Be Well,,, Be Safe.... Butterfly Kisses

12/10/2005 12:38:52 AM
my birthday is close at hand.... many friends have come out to celebrate my birthday week...  Thou', their is not the One in my life... That can deliver the birthday spanking, that i wish to have....  

be well Aall

11/25/2005 9:04:33 AM
feelings of today.... sigh...  feeling a bit *sighish*.. if  that's a word... if not.. Well then.. It's My word of the day....!!

11/21/2005 3:45:17 PM
Thanksgiving is upon Uus...  I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for. 
1st things first, for my daughter, who has been the strength in my darkest days.  We have a special relationship, one that she knows I'm the Mommy, but I am one that she can come too, to tell me things, secret things if the need arises.  A relationship I never aquired with my Mother. 

Then, I am grateful for Aall those that I have met from this venue ~gently smiles~... Without the Strength from Some, I couldn't have made it without Yyou. 

It's been a long struggle, But I can finally say, I am proud of Who I am, and what I can...bring to the table. 

Then their is the One, in whom I miss so dearly in my life...  Wwe parted ways many months ago.... Only if She could see me now... How proud She would be... 

In Ending.. to that beautiful Woman, who has shown me, *You can do it, don't give up*... I can do it, I'm doing it, and You know what, I like just where I am ....

Please Aall,, have a blessed and safe Thanksgiving.. don't forget for what/whom You are thankful for.... 

Oh, and most of all,, *blowing kisses to Him*... He knows who He is.... 



11/13/2005 4:03:42 PM
Life has been a whirlwind for me, with work and my daughter.  My daughter made a trip to Savannah to enjoy her High School's football team playoff's.  Then at her homecoming *gently smiles*, I had four other girls staying overnite at my house.  Lets just say, it was a gigglepalooza.  Making cookies, smores', and popcorn fights *still finding popcorn*....  It was a happy time, that I was able to spend with just her.  Life is good, Ffriends of the lifestyle are still being made, and as far as anything else, I'm not saying a peep, for the fates may hear......... 

Be Safe, Be Well.... 

11/2/2005 1:15:04 PM
To continue on with my journey..  There has been many positive responses to my journal updates.  Many Ffriends in the lifestyle are being made...   and as I always say,,, *Wwe'll see*...

Be Well...

butterfly

10/27/2005 6:09:49 AM
Beware girls,,, there are a lot of Men on here, that are using this venue, for quick pickups,,, using our needs, our wants and desires for their demise. Then never to hear from them again.... to leave us wondering what did we do that was so wrong......

*edited*.. I know, that their is a need for the human touch.  But, if that is what Yyou are wanting, then simply state that fact, not saying, " I want to try to build something with you "... then upon meeting, the only thing Yyou have on Yyour mind is kinky sex.  That is a right Yyou have to earn,, it's not a priveledge, get that straight from the get go...!!

10/22/2005 10:34:27 AM
Oh, and before I forget... A Very Wise Woman told me -- As Many seem to give up hope when the earth doesn't move as quickly as they expect --...  It took time, to get things straight, getting back *Custody* took time, didn't happen over night.  Just because I didn't say I was doing it, doesn't mean it wasn't getting done.  Things took time, the *system* takes it own sweet time.  Alas, I miss this Person in my life, She has suffered a great loss.  I do hope that the Holidays are easy on Her....  The worst thing in the world,,, is Not having that one and dear close to You when it's the holidays.  How very well I know....



10/22/2005 10:15:13 AM
Around 1pm yesterday, after paying some bills, and getting the hamster some food, *who hasn't escaped in the past 2 weeks*. I had an Instant Message. "do you like ice cream"? I debated this, pondered for a few, I do, but I had been working all the evening, and still hadn't had any sleep. I replied with a "Yes". The Person then invited me to have Ice Cream, His treat. I had asked about "what time", He said, "When would you like too"?. I had explained that I haven't had any sleep, and was tired, but still, as long as it was pretty much in the general time frame as *Now*, I would be okay. *Not having to wait till 4 or 5pm, that wouldn't be a good thing*.

I drove to brewsters, and sat and waited for only a few minutes.

The Person, drove up, and come over to the car, I got out, and we ordered Ice Cream.

We sat, and talked for at least an hour, He had so many questions of me, as I did of Him, but we talked, rather than, just saying *Oh here's a question*... We got to know one another. Him and His girl have been in this area, for awhile, and being on one of the groups, that we both seem to be one, He is unsure how many people are lifestyle orientated or is it just a game to them. Asked me, the percentage, I didn't know what to say, still, what I said was irrelevent, I know there are a few that can be counted on my hand, that I have spoken with, have seen at Munches and the like, that are true, not into *games*,, or lets see how I can put this *if your a submissive, you'll do this*... But we continued to talk.

We discussed my *Switchyness*, He doesn't feel that I'm a switch, that, I am just a strong woman, who knows what she wants, and needs, and eventually, I will find Him.

Just had a lovely time, He said definetly this won't be the last time, I talk to Him.

It was a non pressured sort of meeting. I didn't feel threatened, wasn't asked to do some sort of act to prove my *submissiveness*.. which I generally get. It was just nice....

Be Well...

10/21/2005 6:26:46 AM
Opps,, forgot one thing I didn't put in my *add*.

I am NOT a barbie doll, nor will I ever be one.  I am working on my weight, but I consider from going from over 300 lbs, to down to 178 pretty dang spiffy.  I am comfortable with my weight, if You aren't... as the song says... "Walk on by"...

OH, and before I forget this one as well, I smoke *and not like that, i've never checked *winks*....  But I smoke Cigarettes, and sometimes cigars, again, don't like it.... "Walk on by"... 

Vertical Line

Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line
BkLesDmKnifbrgMF
 
 Age: 24
 Athens, Greece