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I will NEVER forget I will NEVER regret I will LIVE my life |
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I am curious how these 18 year olds call themselves Dom/Domme
Have they been researching and going clubs,work shops etc since they are 14?? What a joke...just sayin |
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I haven't been on for quite awhile. Really seems that what I am searching for is unattainable,at least from this site. Its not a fun journey when you can't find that last piece to the puzzle. Honestly I don't know where to go from here. I don't do well in vanilla relationships,its too easy to top from the bottom or manipulate the situation. I am not giving up by any means. Just giving up on this site. I've made lots of great friends and I won't delete my profile for that reason. I wish you much love and light on your journey...I hope you find your piece to the puzzle. Xo~Bratty |
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Lol... someone seems to think I am a guy because I won't call him after a few emails.
I can promise I am all female but I must feel comfortable.
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Mmm things haven't changed since my last post. There is one that peaks my interest but so far it hasn't gone past talking here. Patience is not my best virtue but like a game of chess each move must be studied before it is made.and he likes to think....alot
Also looking for a couple of old friends from Brandon area..Joey ,Antonio if you are out there with new names get in touch.
And old man what happened to you??? Lol
Much love my friends, Bratty |
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The journey seems to never end its so difficult to find that one person you want to give everything to. I had it once and I really missing that feeling. I don't know if I will ever find it again. I am hopeful that my relocation in august may help me achieve my goal. I label myself a switch because my submission is truly for the one that brings it out in me.
Don't get me wrong I do get mouthy on occassion and test the boundries but that is just the brat in me.
I long for the days of being with my Daddy and knowing everything I do is please him and make him happy.
One day ill find what I am looking for again..this world is where I belong.
Best wishes on your search..xo |
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Sometimes I think I must be insane..lol |
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Don't flatter yourself...
Seriosly most people are here are so full of shit. Keep it real!!
I am glad for the true friends I have made on here and to still see/talk to them. |
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You got my thoughts all over the place :)
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Things that make you go hmmmmm |
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One day back and people still haven't figured out how to read a profile. I AM A SWITCH |
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Saw an old friend on here , thought about sending him a quick note...actually sent 4 unsent them all....things got a little crazy at one point. But bottom line is if he wanted to see me he could have written me.......after all he is the DOM. He does look
hot...lol |
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Its been forever since I've been on let alone blogged. Even with my time away it still hasn't changed my need for this lifestyle. Its what completes me. There is nothing like having a Daddy. Its been over 3 years now and its time to start my quest again.
My last relationship didn't work due to his lies and abuse of drugs and alcohol. Its sad how things can be hidden so well for so long.
It truly broke my heart and changed my and my childrens lives forever. It makes me sad that he won't even be my friend. He left me no choice...he picked the alcohol over us and I picked my sanity.
Part of me still loves him and I think of him often but it is what it is.
It will be a slow process but you have to start some where.
Wishing you all well...Bratty..xo |
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i dont play online or in chat..so save your online demands for someone else! |
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50 shades of gray to bring out a million more fakes to this already trying site... |
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so did you fall off the face of the earth ?? yes I am talking to you Godzilla. |
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so its been awhile since I ve visited this site.Always having the hope of someone worth while will appear..mm not so much. so with that I continue making new friends and wait |
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blah..still havent found what im looking for! |
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BEEN QUITE AWHILE BUT I AM BACK..SMILES |
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What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.
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so ive been sitting home bored with a jacked up knee...only to find out i need surgery again! yet I cant find you anywhere |
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wow cant believe its almost time to get surgery!!! the pain has been been brutal so almost looking forward to it! I dont even have Christmas shopping done so i guess it will all be online this year.
Stranded and bored for weeks..yippeee! sooo need someone to entertain me and do my errands.
Hey T you going to visit me? havent heard from you since our last visit.
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having major knee surgery done nov 17. will be on crutches from nov 17 for eight weeks.looing for a slave to help with errands and mostly importantly taking care of me!!! please live local to tampa and send photo with reply. Gender is unimportant. you will wear uniform I provide,well will discuss details further once you are deemed worthy. |
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Thank you for remembering my birthday and for the flowers. Once they opened they looked amazing.
Let me know what works for you so I can get my shoes...and give you what you deserve for being such a good boy ..lol..
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why is it so hard for you to make up your mind and follow through with what you say? you said youve grown up..its funny because i still feel like im living in our past |
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seems that the only thing that has changed is the date. |
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so tired of the same bullshit just a different time..stop wasting my time |
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it was great to see you. was hoping to see you again today but guess something came up. xoxo |
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need someone to come clean for me..no strings housework with lots of abuse..must be available early monday morning. |
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Ok lets try this again..I dont have phone sex,long distance,married men,men with girlfriends,old men etc etc.learn to read a profile before wasting your time and mine.I am real I expect the same.
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lol..i dont even know what to think! |
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there is one thing I miss feeling but havent been able to find anyone else to give me the rush being with you did :) |
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Ok so it was great seeing my friend.we had fun but I am soooo no longer in to sub men. SO maybe I am no longer a switch at heart.I miss having the Daddy Dom figure in my life... |
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so life has taken an interesting turn,found someone on here i went to HS with..lol.he now lives down here.heres the thing hes TOTALLY sub and even thou I am a switch i haven't been with a sub guy in forever..but I have agreed to go and spend time with him. Leaving monday after work and will be back wednesday night should be interesting to say the least.maybe this is the change I need cause bear is still pissed and not talking to me(no still do not know what i did) should have listened to my watcher. E you were right as always ,i know you are mad at me too ! batting a 1000 oh well bratty me is what makes the world go round. love ya! xoxox |
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blah...i am not a mind reader!! wish i was but im not..how long are you going to be like this? |
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oh fyi my addicction isnt drugs,lol....
cant help but wonder what did i do wrong this week?? maybe one day you will tell me bear. |
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seems I have really hurt someone who means a lot to me due to my need to disobey and be selfish in my "addiction". E you have been an amazing friend to me and i know all you wanted to do was keep me safe and sane.I have already apologiized 1000 times over just want the world to know what i did and why you no longer want to watch over me.I love you Sir and am sorry. |
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its funny cause I know i am crazy but you my friend are fuckin nuts and I honestly believe you have no clue. |
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Remember when we were going to rule the world? still want to?? I am ready to do it according to your rules !
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Finally content and happy for the first time in a long time :)..at peace with myself and my past |
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WOW what a crazy weekend it has been,ive been thrown one hell of a curve ball! wonder what tomorrow has for me..lol |
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thanks for everything you have done for me for the past year,don't know where I'd be without you.You truly have blessed our lives. I am amazed at how far we have come and look forward to seeing where we get.Words could never express the meaning you bring to my life.
xoxo...guess i am back to green..lol..no more blue for me |
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yea I am seriously begining to question myself and my judgement.My fucked up meter is broken...well nothing a few drinks wont help me forget.I need a DD for tonight..lol |
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For the life of me I can't figure people out.. |
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Sometimes I cant figure people out and dont know why they feel the need to waste my time.say what you mean,mean what you say.
If you can't be real and honest then what does that really say about you and your so called promises and keeping your word.
I couldnt rememeber why I left for so long but now I do,different people spewing the same bullshit.
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Sooo I am extra bitchy today..enter with caution or bring a paddle and adjust my attitude :) |
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sometimes I think too much and drive myself insane!!! |
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Seems to be a line forming to adjust my attitude....smiles |
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I need a major attitude adjustment..pissy mood need someone to knock me down a few pegs.......grrrrrr |
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There is so much more to me,then meets the eye.Wish everyone could see me the way you do.. |
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Things happen for a reason whether you understand why or not. |
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I speak to you in riddles because my words get in the way. |
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Can't seem to get my head and my heart on the same page... |
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Do you ever wonder how someone can say they love you so much there is nothing they wouldn't do for you..and when the going gets tough they don't do a damn thing about it.Sometimes just seeing that the other person tried can help get things off the rocky road,when they don't try at all it makes the choice obvious and even though it sucks you have no choice but to leave and hope they will see the light.I can't change the world but I sure can do the best to change me into a better person.
DTA |
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to the heart and mind ignorance is kind |
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A new month,and a happier me. I am feeling sooo much better.Still not ready to meet anyone or anything like that taking the baby steps but this is the start of something that can only get better. |
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I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
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Ever wish you could just run away from home for awhile,leave everything behind??Take sometime alone to go and clear your head...or find someone to get lost with...theres a big world and I'd like to blend in just for a few days where no one knows me and I know no one.
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Feeling better each day... |
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Behind every rain cloud there is a Rainbow :) |
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The last person in the world I ever expected to help me has been amazing.His compassion and understanding has been great.I can't thank you enough for being my friend and listening to me. xoxo |
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Hey thanks for being so kind,it means a lot me.You helped me forget just for awhile.And btw you will never be grilled cheese and coffee
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Someone just sent me an email telling me I should not write about my situation and I should delete all entries..and here is my response,I write to heal my soul not for any other reason.If you don't like what I have to say you don't have to read it.Everyone gets over things in their own way and this is mine.Who are you to say how I should heal?? |
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The past few days have been difficult for me.I know time heals all wounds and I just need to be patient with the process but for those who know me its not a virtue I am good with.
Part of me wants to call him and say hey we can work this out (my heart) then my brain kicks in and says remember you did this for a reason,the hardest part is behind you. So I don't call,I don't text,I don't email but I can still get lost in our past in my head.Its amazing how you can just think of the good and how easy it is to forget the bad but I suppose that is what love is all about. I do wonder if he thinks about me or even misses me but I guess that is neither here nor there because it is what it is.I just keep telling myself..TIME |
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Can't believe how far I've come,I've watched me stumble and come undone .If you take away these memories all thats left is just me...... |
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UGH..stay out of my dreams!!! Miss you lots today. |
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Thanks for all the support and kind words it means a lot to me as I adjust to my situation.It has been really difficult for me.Every day is a challenge,and each night a nightmare.I write in my journal to help heal my soul.I am taking the time I need to let my bruised heart recover.
I am no where near ready to engage in any kind of meet . I honestly don't know when I will be.When you give your heart and soul completely its a long healing process.All I can do is take it one day at a time and hope I can take what I learned from this and be a better person. |
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it really is simple..
say what you mean
mean what you say |
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I sit and I think about how much I've learned the past 9 months and how far I've come.I've changed and grown in so many ways yet here I am again... |
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With each night comes a new tomorrow and I am ready to face what tomorrow has for me.It's hard starting all over and losing someone who meant so much to you but I gave it all I had and that is the best I can do.I can walk away knowing I did EVERYTHING I could to make it work. |
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heard you missed me,I'm back! |
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