boundncaptivated

For 5 nights my Master and I stayed in a cabin up in Flagstaff, AZ by ourselves. It was our opportunity to be away by ourselves for the first time since having a child together. It was also our first real vacation since we?ve been together. We?ve been on several ?vacations? but they were more for visiting family than for relaxation.

So we decided to rent a cabin up north and take that time off together during his R&R from Iraq. What a great little cabin it was. We got a log cabin, which was a specific thing we wanted. We didn?t want something that looked modern and updated, we wanted the woodsy feel.? It had a brick fireplace, and an upstairs loft. You?ll see photos of us by the fireplace; these were taken in the cabin where we stayed.

One of the nights we were there, we played a new game that Master thought of. He says he is going to write a journal entry in his profile [screen name MasterJoshua15] explaining the game, but I am not allowed to read it because I still don?t know how to win the game.

The game is played using dice. The number of dice corresponds to the level number you are on. If I am on the 3^rd round, then I will roll 3 dice. Say one lands a 6, one lands a 1, and the other lands a 2. That means I get 9 hits from whatever toy he chooses; in this case, it was his cane. How my Master plays, though, is that he rounds up to the nearest even number if I roll an odd number, so I?d actually get 10 hits if I were to make that roll.

After each hit, I have to say, ?Master [number], Master.? I am allowed time to get my bearings after each hit. If a hit is particularly painful for me, I can take a moment and pull myself together from the pain and when I am ready for my next hit, I count it for him.

He then gave me the option of substituting any set of hits with a task, such as instead of getting those 10 hits, I can put a dildo/plug/hook in my ass, or I can wear the ball gag, or nipple clamps, etc. If I so chose, I could opt out of all of the hits each time and just do something else. The task could not involve his cock penetrating me in any way though, so I could not offer a blow job or sex in lieu of the hits. However, being that I did not know the rules of the game, in my eyes, to choose to do something else instead of taking the hits was to admit defeat, or to lose, and I was not down with that.

Little did I know, as Master explained to me later on that night, the object of the game for me is that by taking the hits, I?m actually losing. By choosing other options, I am winning. He says that to win the game, I have to find a way to make him stop hitting me. However, I don?t really know what would make him stop aside from choosing other options every time. But then what do I do when I run out of toys? I?m still not entirely sure of what the point of the game is on my end, and that?s something I will have to learn as we play it.

Later when we were sitting together on the couch, when I was extremely frustrated because it hurt to sit (yes, my ass is still bruised), he was telling me that he was very much enjoying watching my reaction to the game. I mentioned in my previous journal entry that I am a VERY stubborn woman. Well, this is actually one of Master?s favorite things about me because I present a challenge to him. He says having a submissive that did not need any training, who always obeys, would be very boring for him. 

To give you a little background on my stubborn streak, I would deliberately not clean my room, do my homework, etc. specifically because my parents *told* me to. If they would leave me alone and let me decide when I wanted to clean my room, I would have eventually gotten around to doing it myself. But I have always hated the idea of someone telling me to do something and then me doing it, and them thinking I was doing it because they wanted me to. I am the youngest of 5 children in my family, the oldest is my sister and the 3 boys are in the middle. My oldest brother recently told me that when I was little and he was a teenager and had to babysit me, I would make him so mad because he?d get angry with me and pick me up and carry me in my room. Sometimes he?d yell at me. But what made him mad was that I would stand up to him, and I mean I was all of 5, 6 years old, and I?d yell right back at him, saying things like, ?You think you?re so tough because you can push around a little girl!? and egg him on, but he couldn?t do anything about it because he wouldn?t actually hurt me.

People *telling* me to do things makes me want to not do them at all because my brain hates letting anyone think they have any kind of authority over me. This really only applies to my personal and social lives, because when I was working I did not mind doing things my bosses told me to do. But if someone in my personal/social life tells me to do something, I will not jump up and do it, specifically because they told me to. Remember, my brain immediately says, ?No, fuck you, I do what a want!? when someone tells me to do something. It is a different story when I am asked to do something for someone. I?m stubborn, but I?m not a complete bitch, I do like to help people.

So, as I said in my previous entry, it takes a special kind of man to be able to dominate me and get me to obey his commands.

Now, back to the game.

Master is very interested in psychology though, and watching my reactions to things is very interesting to him. He loved my reaction because it was so telling of who I am as a person. He said that watching me take the pain instead of doing what I saw as giving in, was very much a reaction to be expected from me. He could see me gritting my teeth and forcing out, ?Master [number], Master!? each time when it was getting more and more painful for me. He said he could tell that in my mind, I was saying, ?Fuck you!? every time. And he was right. That was exactly what was going through my head. Fuck you, I can take this. Fuck you, I?m not giving in. Fuck you, I?m winning this game of yours.

But apparently my stubborn reaction was actually causing me to lose. I explained to him that in my mind, to choose other options would be to lose the game. He explained to me that no, by choosing other options I would be winning. I?m still not entirely sure how that is, but Master says that in time it will come to me, so I will just have to trust him. After all, Master is always right. (Seriously? I can?t tell you how many times in the past I?ve not done what he recommended I do, and then later wished I had. It must be part of my stubborn streak that I?ve so often done something else instead.)

I?m sure some people will catch on to the way I would win the game, but it just has not come to me yet. Master is confident that eventually I will figure it out though. But I am not allowed to find out through other people or by reading the journal entry he writes, so please, if you have any ideas or you figure it out, please do not tell me.

I hope you all enjoy my journal entries. I will be writing more on the subject of this game once Master has returned from his deployment and we can play again. In the mean time, I will write whenever the mood strikes. And the mood will probably strike fairly often. I?m a natural writer? writing is what I do.

Thanks for reading? let me know what you think :) [but no help on the game, please!!!!]

~boundncaptivated

More About Me...

I can look at a photo of a man (or see him in person) who calls himself a Dom and know right away whether or not he could dominate me. Most don?t have what it takes. I don?t say that in an arrogant way, I say that truthfully. I am very feisty, very stubborn, and resistant to authority. It takes a certain type of Dom to be able to control a submissive such as myself. ?I can?t be with a man I feel I could overpower, or who gives in to me too easily.

I need a strong, powerful, intelligent, attentive, honest man in order to be able to submit to him. I can?t submit to a man I don?t believe when he says he is going to punish me or whose will to dominate I don?t believe. ?And, as shallow as it may sound, I am only attracted to men who look like men, not men who look boyish. I like hairy chests and legs, and a man who has to shave. Not that all men who don?t look like that do not look like men, but those are particular preferences of mine.

Yes, I am a very stubborn woman. I have an, ?I?ll do what I want, when I want, and anyone who doesn?t like it can take a flying leap? attitude. Even still, I?ve always craved a man who could control me (without violence), who could tie me up and beat me and show me where I belong, while still loving me , caring for me, being my best friend. How rare indeed is a man who can be all of those things to a woman.

This is why I am with the Dom that I am with. This is why I did not have sex until I met him. I couldn?t bring myself to be attracted to any other guy I dated enough to want to have sex with him. I wasn?t mentally or physically attracted to them adequately enough to want that intimacy with them.