

	Home


	Browse



	Live


	Join
	Collarspace


	Dating


	News


	Glossary


	Mobile


	Alt


	Safety


	Toys


	Live BDSM


	Resources


	Welcome






	Login

bondmaid123


	bondman Male Dominant, 66, NS	bondmartiniman Male Switch, 38, eugene, Oregon	bondm1 Male Dominant, 43, Warren, Ohio

		Back		KPM		Directory		Interests



	About bondmaid123 *Crankypants Dominants:* *If you are angry at the world, I have no desire to have* *your negativity in my environment.* **If you are under 40, we are probably not compatible. If you're under 30, we are for sure* not compatible.* If you are struggling with substance abuse, I wish you the best, but I cannot allow that influence in my household. Also, I am a single parent. They are very capable teens, but they are part of my household and I have no intention of marginalizing them. The Gorean Heresies of a former bondmaid: I don't think John Norman had/has a clue about the way women's minds actually work. I don't think it's necessary or admirable to keep a woman in line by threat of physical violence. (Nonviable in our culture, for one. Simply stupid, for another) I don't think men are superior to women. I don't think women are superior to men. I don't think some women are superior to other women. I think gender roles exist for a reason, but I think they are all equally necessary for a stable community, even if it's only a community of two living behind the doors of a private residence. I don't think it's my goal in life to be constantly sexually aroused. I think women who find themselves in that state should see a doctor. Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. ~Robert Heinlein** Ever since I was a child reading the Gorean novels, I identified very strongly with that paradigm. Most specifically, I was drawn to the Norse-inspired tale of Torvaldsland, with its harshness and connection with nature on a primal level, and the people who lived there. There's a beauty to that culture which resonates in my core, and it's been my version of the fairytale most little girls create and then (consciously or otherwise) use to rate their partners in adult life, eh? For most of my adult life, if you'd asked me how I identify, within "the lifestyle" I would have said "As a Gorean bondmaid". To me that made perfect sense, and illustrated my "ideal". I think that terminology is confusing to 99.975% of the people out there, though. Too many people don't know ~anything~ about Gor. Of those who do, too many have learned some horridly perverted version via online chat rooms which bear little to no relation to the fiction novels I read (and re-read, and re-read... and continue to re-read). Most people who are familiar with Gor via the books and who choose to incorporate what they've gleaned from the books are focused more on the "classic romanticism" of Gor, with the "highly trained sexual pleasure slaves" imagery based loosely on the cultures of ancient Rome/Greece. I also see far, far too much reliance on the social constructs laid out in the books, which I'm sure worked well for those (fictional) residents of that (fictional) planet, but which have little to no bearing on real life as we know it. HELLO! We live in THIS planet. I know, I know... it's unfair, and stuff. Also TRUE. Time to move on and stop thinking the window dressing is fooling the neighbors. Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance. ~Jean de la Fontaine For those who are outside of the Gorean paradigm, "slave" carries connotations that I can not abide. Those preconceptions lead to resentment, and resentment leads to all sorts of other ugliness. Power exchange, to me, also involves a deep level of responsibility that sometimes falls by the wayside as the hedonistic aspects crowd out other considerations. That way lies madness... Am I submissive? Not in the sense I see the word used here (or elsewhere). My thesaurus shows the following synonyms for "submissive": amenable, biddable, compliant, conformable, docile, law-abiding, obedient, tractable. I think that fits me, if I'm in an environment where the person (or people) I'm expected to be submissive to carry his/their share of the burden, you know... being responsible and stuff. Do I like making sure that the people I'm around are doing OK? Am I willing to work my ass off to make that happen? Absolutely, and that works well in my professional life, too. I'm less and less willing to put up with folks who are willing to benefit from that without meeting their obligations. "With great power..." and all that jazz. So, this is all pretty dry and esoteric, I suppose, but these things are important to me, and I recognize it's a very superficial picture of me, when I'm pretty complicated, but if the stuff up there is too dry/boring/uninspiring for you, I'm probably not the gal for you. ;) On an even more superficial level - where do my kinks lie? You know... those things that drive me to have a profile on sites like this, instead of just bee-boppin' around OKC or matchdotwhatever. A dear friend once referred to me as "peach sorbet." Not vanilla, but not terribly OUT THERE, either. I am, first and foremost, a touch-a-holic. I love (and need) touch. Want to tell me I did a good job? I do much better with a warm embrace than a hearty "Nicely done!" I crave human touch on a level both visceral and encompassing. I love (LOVE) having my hair toyed with. Brushed, tugged (especially that firm grasp at the nape of the neck, used to control my head, or just to tell me you're there? Ohh yes, please.). I carry my stress (stress? What's that?!) in my shoulders and upper back. I find there is nothing more useful for releasing that tension than a good, solid thuddy flogging. I ~despise~ pain, when used for pain's sake, but the pain of a good deep tissue massage via flogger is heavenly. The endorphin rush is so worth it. I've dabbled in fire play, and I enjoy immensely the dynamic there. I would be leery of playing with just anybody, but I have found it extremely enjoyable in the past. Much of my "kink" beyond these few avenues of exploration lies in the invisible world of power exchange. I do espouse the gender-based roles which Dr. Lange (and so many others) have discussed, not as absolute values, but as "bell curve means". I find an alpha male (not an immature bully trying to bluster his way through life, but an actual alpha male) intoxicating in the extreme. It stirs a deeper level of intensity and commitment from me. I am always service-oriented (even when I'm grouchy), but I am even more intensely so when in the same space as a man who just has that "certain something" about him. It's like art. I can't explain it, but I know it when I sense it... and it makes my knees go weak. :) When I'm partnered with that alpha male, I am FAR more willing to go exploring through the wild wastelands of "relationship-based kink explorations." Plus, I like sex, but I really need to trust somebody before I'm going to let them brush my hair. I mean, it took a LONG time to get it this long. ;)

	bondagebaby Female Submissive, 45, poc, Idaho	bondagemaster Male Dominant, 45, Rhode island	bondo1 Male Switch, 34, Huntington, West Virginia	bondtigerhawk Male Switch, 20, Bellevue, Washington
	bondageboy Male Switch, 38, central ct, Connecticut	bonniche Transgender Submissive, 35, paris	Bondagedremes Male Dominant, 43	bondageprovide Male Dominant, 56, lexington, Kentucky
	bonniebcr Male Submissive, 75	BondageisFun Male Switch, 36, Orange County, New York	Bondageguy Male Submissive, 63, Charlottesville, Virginia	bondageguy9226 Male Submissive, 45