bluesgun

Male Dominant, 48, Nashville, Tennessee

Male Submissive, 35, Craiova

Male Submissive, 36, Fayetteville, Arkansas

Been a while since I blogged here. another holiday season is upon us. What is there to make it special? Sure family is most important,but... I've heard that after 45 your chances of finding your soulmate are lower than your chances of being struck by lighting; how depressing is that? Maybe I should just start buying lotto tickets. When I was a kid I remember overhearing my parents talk about me not giving up when it was pretty clear I wasnt going to succeed at something. My mom said "he's just very determined" My pops said "nah, he's just to dumb to know when he's beat" No I'm not giving up , just sayin. Nuair a bheirim thuas mo chla?h lonrach agus nuair a ghearann mo l? an breithi?gheobhaidh m??tas ar mo naimhde agus ais?faidh m?stu a chr? m?A Thiarna, ardaigh m?o dti do l? dheisagus cuir m?n ?eamh na Naomh. and now a word from our sponsors.

what the hell is it about siblings that causes so much drama? recently I had 2 of my kids move back home from;well what ever they were running away from. I dont know if its because they have changed so much or were just never really compatible as house mates or what but these 2 girls are drivin me crazy with all the damn arguements and bickering. Yeah I know... kick'em out,blah blah blah. they are my kids both of them and I dont play favorites and for now they both really need a place to go because they both have my grandkids in tow. if it weren't for that last I'd probably opt for showing both the door. Maybe they're both in cahoots and trying to collect my insurance..... just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean no ones really out to get me. we now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

well summer's here and all her sun worshiping glory. All the fun and music and beaches and amusment parks,and vacations and....well you get the picture. I think sometimes I lose track of the deeper things during the lazy days of summer not because of summer but because of a fault of my own. I dont accord the blessings of life their due place because it feels like all things are great and wonderous and easily accessible. Today I'm going to be thankful for all the good things I have in life, all of them I can remember anyhow. No this aint about religion; its about me, and my shortcomings(and I got aplenty),and my failure to appreciate what a great life I've had. This I will change today. meanwhile back at the ranch.....

Made a couple new friends lately here. "hi" to them :) Still no luck with any kind of.... anything else (for lack of a better term). Maybe I should just start acting like a colossal prick, women seem to gravitate to that kind of masculine personality for some reason. No really, take a look around you and notice how many you see in abusive relationships .... huh? I think Dominance/Mastery has to be seperated from the vanilla world that we MUST live in, therefore its imperative that he understand where the bounderies are and what lines can be crossed and when. Am I making any kind of sense to anyone ? Just a random thought that came along tonight..... stay tuned

not sure why I keep adding to this journal , its not like anyone reads it. starting to notice that subs aren't as sub as they want you to think. most are narrow minded, closed eyed and ready to change YOU right from jump. for instance I get a message the other day stating if I would just get a haircut and shave I'd get alot more responses.... well gee thats just great. nothing like having to change who I really am to satisfy someone else's idea of what a Dom should look like or be like. I'm about ready to just lump this idea of finding a subbie ,god bless all of you who have but the ones I'm familiar with have shown themselves to be either users, losers,fakes or worse. Before the hate mail starts rolling in I'm not making a blanket statement on submisives here, just the ones I've met. Yes I realise this might reflect on me and what I am or what I expect... I know I'm not perfect. blah blah blah.

Not journaling like I used to , somehow time just gets away from me and I don't remember to log on and share whats new. Bike is in the shop getting ready for spring road trip. I'm thinking of heading for shop for a tetnus shot , damn nail in the stairs again, and I cant remember last time I had a booster. here's a thought , why is it american actors usually dont put forth their best efforts until they are in the closing years of their careers? the last few clint eastwood films have been fantastic, not saying his work in westerns was bad , but nothing like million dollar baby or grand torino . well thats all for now until next time Blues

wow, its really been almost 2 weeks since I made a journal entry. That seems like a long time to me,but things being as they are I have been a bit busy. Those of you who know me know I am raising one of my grandsons,nuff said. So whats new? NOT A DAMN THING!!! lol Where are the subbies that want more than cyber? Where? Oh well, such is life, I accept it with less than stoic indifference ,but none the less accept it. I'm not whining mind you. I've taken control of my own life,I've done what I must do. Beyond that I have to trust in fate. I don't have to like the hand fate deals me though,and by damn I know I deserve better. Anyway.... until next time. stay tuned.

I've been reading the boards about abuse and "redflags" and such lately. I have a story I think I'd like to share. Many years ago, I had met a co-worker for drinks and such in a crowd of other people that worked in our factory. her daughter happened to be there... my co-worked warned me that I should never EVER be caught dating said daughter;she was going to meet a "good guy thats goings someplace". Needless to say I ignored this warning and did in fact become involved; no wait thats not what happened, we had a sexual relationship. Said mother was furious. Now she didnt bother with making threats or drunk dialing me in the wee hours or anything you would usually expect in this situation. She came loaded for bear and discharged 12 rounds of 9mm bullets at me in the parking lot of the local watering hole. Two of those bullets actually did hit me, one in the chest directly under the clavical(did I spell that right?) and one went in near my temple and lodged in the bone behind my left ear under the skin. This made me see stars... literally. When I realized I wasnt in fact discorperate, I stood up and punched this woman dead in her nose. I had never before hit a woman (or inanimate object for that matter) in my life nor have I since. Does this red flag me as an abuser ? I thought I was vindicated in this action.... she shot me first .... your thoughts, support, or hate mail, is welcome. Peace and Prosperity Blues

New year is closing in fast, is anyone else getting introspective? Message me with your thoughts,comments, or resolutions. This is the time of year I really think about people and what they mean to me. Old friends and new ones,like the new year. This one has been good... and bad,in different ways. Making new friends is a good thing ,but losing old ones kinda sucks, if ya know what I mean. Finding out someone you thought was special is really just another phony with a different line cuts ya to the bone;but finding out there are people that know your pain and will share your burden is a great gain,and a great comfort. nuff ranting Happy New Year !!!! Dyslexia is a btcih

Feeling a bit melancholy today; listening to townes van zandt sing "waitin around to die". Must be the full moon. Sometimes there is something very fulfilling about bundling up and taking a bottle of merlot out on a winters night and watching the stars wheel around the sky. Gettin in the Christmas spirit is a fine thing,but there is alot to be said for the soul soothing effect of solitude also. No news on the search for a sub/partner/love. On the other hand, I haven't put alot of effort into the search. Guess I'm figuring it will happen when its meant to,and spending some time with Grandkids is alot of fun right now.

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