BigJames

To the lady I just viewed, if you view me back, you might realise we know each other - quite well (although I have just taken my picture down).  Please be assured that your "secret" is safe and I will never speak a word of it to you (unless you mention it first) or to any of our circle of mutual friends.

The two newest ladies on Collarme are both from the Hamptons.

That's Wolverhampton and Southampton.

TOP TIPS:

UK Ladies: Fed up with men from all over the country contacting you, when clearly local is better?  Why not put your location onto your profile.  Saying just "UK" isn't very helpful.  A county or large city will do.

What is it with these "do my wife" people who advertise on here.  It seems many haven't actually told their wives - it's just about their own fantasy fulfilment.  Why would I or any other self-respecting man go out of their way to "describe what you'd do" just to give another bloke a thrill?

Dearest subs.

A word of advice.  If you go to Nigeria or Ghana, please make sure you always have enough money available for the airfare home.  Ideally, buy a flexible return before you travel.  So many of you seem to run out of money there, or get mugged, or lose your job unexpectedly.  Then you find yourself in the unenviable position of having to ask men you've never met to send you money for your flight home.

Whilst the promise of filthy sex, opportunities to humiliate you and basically do anything we want to you is appealing, it would be better for all concerned if you didn't get yourself into such a pickle in the first place.

Hope this helps.  And good luck finding someone to sub you the money (sub!  geddit??!!)

Warmest Regards,

James

Dear Gentlemen from Ghana and Nigeria,

Not getting as much money as you'd hoped?  Your fake profile not receiving as many messages as you need?  Then I am here to help!  

Your main problem is your profile descriptions and photographs.  Everything about them is wrong. For example; there are no 18 year old girls living in Britain who have Native American ancestry and are also called Anne.  Indeed any two of these three "facts" would be most unlikely indeed.  These matters as presented just don't go together and they scream "FAKE".  This is just one of the myriad examples I encounter on a daily basis among the fresh meat new joiners.

So what can you do?  You could carry on wasting your time, or you could employ a skilled writer for your advertisements.  You will scam more money, I will will earn some too.  I will also get the satisfaction of helping a fellow human being.

If interested, please message me.

James