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Female Submissive, 49, N Fort Worth, Texas
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Female Switch, 41, Green Country, Oklahoma
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Male Switch, 56, Birmingham
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About bentwordsmith
The short version.
No longer married to vanilla wife, eventually life had to catch up with me, finally split sometime at the start of 2008.
Busy dad to my wonderful daughters.
My personal bio:
Long ago, just after my army service, I had one long B&D / D&S relationship. It had predated the internet and where I grow up "normal" people just didn't do "that kind of stuff", a bit later in life I met my wife. "For" my wife / Love I had "given up" my dominant side and settled for an equal vanilla life.
A few years back (2002), when the marriage started going down hill, after much deliberation, hesitation and downright cowardice I managed to come out to my wife about the lifestyle. Since then I am still struggling to make coherent sense of what the lifestyle means to me, I guess I will never mange to make science/sense out this.
For a while for both our sakes, and with her help and cooperation (and no it did not include her participation, though I had hopes) I have persuade my interests, I have changed my lurker status in a local group (The wonderful Tulsa Dungeon Society) to that of a rarely seen but known person. Doing so I managed to go to more then a few play parties. Met a group of wonderful people, open, loving and accepting. They allowed me to share through their play and excitement without pushing me to cross lines.
Joined a whip enthusiastic local group and bought myself 6 single tail whips, with which I played with in my back yard to the obvious joy of my baby, who laughs every time I manage to whack myself silly.
Bought some books I wanted for a long time, got me some high quality rope and a knot encyclopedia, joined the local Shibari club and hopefully one of these days I will manage to tie something more than my shoe laces.
Left the US back to return to my Home back in Israel in 2004, been back and having fun since.
I am still struggling with the bull whip, I have become fairly good with rope, and I am still and always learning.
As far as my own definition in the lifestyle, I am happy to announce I now have no doubt I am a very domineering switch. I still abhor the usual titles, bestowed-upon or self-given. I know for sure today that while I enjoy pain, giving and receiving, there is not a single Sado-Masochistic bone in my body.
I derive the pleasure from my partner's pleasure when giving, I would revel in the sensation of the sensory overload in receiving, pain is only a fraction of what it is all about.
I am unraveling the mystery of my twisted brain, only to tangle it so much more in the process. I let my demon out, and made him sit by me as I read the forums. And, while I contemplate and think about it all, I scratch his ears and make him purr for me. I would like to talk to and meet with people that are like me. I like BDSM as a part of me. I am looking for an on-line friendship / relation, real life sideline activities, where I can discuss and share my thoughts, dreams, and fantasies. I look for knowledge that will allow me to consummate or realize my "dark side".
I make no promises, I tell no lies. Life is grand (at least today), and with some luck it will be better.
Yours AH |
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