beatmeasianqueen

MS. Kim really is fond of me.  I am so happy that when I see a new message from her, or even if she is on collarme, I hold tears back from falling out my eyes.  I love her and adore her so much, i SO badly want to cry thinking about her!

MS Kim is really busy, but she managed to message with me last night for a bit.  I feel much better having the gift go through without a hitch.  :D SMILES  I've not had much time what with the 12 hour work days and all but today is my day off, so I worked on one of the projects that I want to give her.  I think it turned out great!  Waiting for the paint to dry...

Inner thoughts...

Min Joo, MS Kim as it were, seems to be able to check off every box in my list that i've had in my head since I can remember one right after the other.  She seems to be what I've wscoured the earth looking for since I was about 6 or 7!  I'm really happy! and looking forward to know her more every day.  Excited? You betcha! 

I have mixed feelings on the amazon card.  I'm going to send her one, for sure.  I think she deserves far more then I can give to her.  Now for the thoughts inside my head.  I'm afraid.  Yes, silly, right? Afraid?  It's not a scam thing.  Some people in the chat have said that it is not uncommon for dommes to weed out wankers.  I guess that I can accept that.  In reality, I've spent far more on strippers who were pretending to like me for a few minutes.  Not a big deal.  You pay to be entertained and this is not different.  So what is my fear?  FAILURE.  Failure and rejection.  My track record is impecably perfect.  Everytime I give a gift to a girl that I like, without fail, the gift is rejected, for whatever reason.  The girl seems to disappear from the earth, or back away.  I fear how crushed I will be if MS Kim rejects my gift, thereby rejecting the intention of giving her my heart forever, as it will be attached to the gift.  I promised myself never to buy anything for a girl again, at least not without a real strong relationship.  Making her something maybe, as I've had some limited success not getting those gifts returned to me, but not buying.  Also, I think money as a gift is pathetic, cold, and thoughtless.  After all, an aware person must realize that money is paper printed at a loss by a monopoly and has no value whatsoever, and therefore makes a queen buyable, voiding her value, but don't get me started on all of that...

Well, I told her friday, but I will be able to send it tomorow (thursday).  I will be waiting for a positive response, but not expecting it...