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Ok well here is another try at this. I am a 45 year old swm, tv, never married, no kids and own my own home. Although my profile name has 'sissy' in it, I no longer consider myself a sissy. I think of myself as a girl in training and transition and not as a boy who likes to dress up as a girl. With that in mind, I am very realistic about my feminization and slavegirl training. I will never pass as a girl in reality nor do I wish to come out to my family, friends or work. Instead, I would like my feminization to focus on making me live my private daily life as much like a real girl as possible, being mentally Feminized almost fully and finding discreet ways to be fem and a slave girl all the time. While I want to always be thought of and treated like both a girl and a slavegirl, there are ways to do that 24/7, even in public without being obvious about it. For instance I have girls unisex looking jeans , tops and sneakers. I also am developing a sheer makeup look for public wear along with a daily teen girl look for at home. In the cool months like September through April I am fully shaved and will wear panties, tights and when possible a bra under my clothes. What I am looking for is a Domme or Dom to feminized me and train me as a slave girl. The role of maid feels completely natural to me. As a domestic maid I enjoy cleaning and keeping house. Unlike the Divas out there I actually clean and that is the focus of what I am about as a domestic. You will not find me doing a bad job so I can be spanked. While I enjoy being spanked for my Dominants pleasure, being spanked as punishment for doing a poor job or being disobedient upsets me because I have let You down. As a personal maid (for females only) I greatly enjoy the quality time I get to spend pampering You. Manicures, facials, pedicures ( I have a huge foot and shoe fetish), brushing Your hair and of course massages. My massages last about two hours and I have my own portable massage table. This also includes getting You ready for dates. (Personally I think I would prefer to be kept in chastity and be taught to orgasm mentally as a female. ) if I considered myself a boy I would be a cuckold but as a girl I am not sure what I would be called. Finally I am happy to serve as a sexual maid. This of course would be in the role of a female. I am happy to be used as a human sex toy, whether completely anonymously through the use of hoods, blindfolds, and dildoes, or more personally where I can see and/or interact with You verbally as I pleasure You or of course any variation You would see fit including not using me sexually at all. Needless to say I would not be expecting any reciprocal pleasure. As a slave girl I enjoy bondage tremendously, objectification, human furniture, wax play, clamps, gags, hoods, outfits of all sorts, butt plugs, enemas, water sports, spankings, floggers, crops, age play, e-stim, vacuum/suction play, cupping, pony play, induced lactation, discipline, restrictions, etc. When it comes to feminization I feel that only through experiencing the things girls do growing up. I identify as a feminine, girly girl so things like ballet, cheerleading, batontwirling, figure skating and pageant really appeal to me. I would like t have to take ballet class, even if just to a DVD at home and have recitals each year, really,learning ballet. Would I love to be tied up as a ballerina too? Sure, but I would also like to eventually dance en pointe. Having these same experiences will help me become a more complete girl mentally and I truly believe this will make me a better slave girl. This is why I am so interested in hypnosis. Hopefully through hypnosis I can be programmed to really believe I can get pregnant, have a regular period, deal with the guilt and anxiety of being exposed that goes along with being a tv, and being able to be put deep, deep into my girl headspace. Sorry guys but when it comes to my foot and shoe fetish that is only for the females. I am so into cute girl feet sites and footwear. My dream would be to find a girl who enjoyed me being into it too and I could earn the privilege of being in charge of Her feetsies. My duties would include: 1. When ever we would first meet during the day I would curtsey to Her and then kiss Her shoes. Same for when She left. 2. I would be the one to take Her shoes off and put them on Her so She wouldn't have to. Of course I would smell them too:). 3. I would sit at Her feet whenever possible and cuddle with Her feetsies/shoes. 4. Once She decided to take off Her shoes, I would be there to massage and worship them. 5. I would give Her regular pedicures :) 6 I would be responsible for all Her footwear so I would spend time with each pair writing down the brand, size, description, notes on how yummy they smelled and take photos of them. Cuckolding- the whole idea of being a cuckold really appeals to me but since I don't consider myself a boy, do You call a female a cuckold too?the idea of helping my Domme get ready for a date is exciting, especially if we have matching lingerie:) the ideal would be to be able to be there and participate like fluffing Him so He is rock hard and wet for Her and help guide Him in. Possibly lick Her while He is doing Her and of course cleaning Her afterwards making sure Her needs are met physically and emotionally. That is probably not a likely scenario though. Maybe I would be hidden in the room so I could hear or see them. Or maybe I would be tied up and teased till She returned and told me all about the date. I really like the idea of eating His cum out of Her or being fed it from the condom. I would feel so close to Her doing that. Maybe She would pick out a dildo that was the same size and shape as Him or if He was Her regular lover, maybe make a mold of it so I can suck it while She is out and know what it feels like to Her when She is with Him:) Lactation has always fascinated me on many levels. I have always wanted to try nursing from someone else but I also have a strong desire to be induced to lactate myself. There are many different fantasies I have from being made to lactate and every morning my Mistress/Master can have a bowl of cereal with my milk I had pumped the day before while having me lean over the table in my maid uniform and having them squeeze fresh into their coffee to later in the evening where they may suckle/nurse as a relaxing snack before bed. Other fantasies include being a human cow kept for milking where people buy my milk and get to dictate what is happening to me right before and during milking to get their desired flavored milk or I was a slave to a couple and when they had a child I would nurse them. I don't even know if I can be induced or once I was induced if it would actually be feasible to keep lactating but the idea gets me wet. I think part of it is I like that kind of attention for my breast using all the pumps, estim, etc as well as how feminine and submissive it makes me feel trying to induce. For me I find its the little things that really make the difference. They cannot be done all the time since I have no desire to be outed as a girl or a slave, but being called by my girl name or referred to in the feminine whenever possible. Being expected to sit on the floor or having to curtsey whenever appropriate. Wearing my school uniform for at least an hour every school day, and if I can't, or am late, having to fill out tardy or absentee slips and have them signed. It's the everyday mundane things that don't have the erotic level of being tied up but when done day in and day out really help set my sub headspace and make my transformation permanent. More later...... Obediently, Lauren Xoxoxoxo Curtsey

7/14/2012 12:17:02 AM Well I guess it seems that I am totally undesirable to well.......anyone. Unless,I blow them on the first meeting with nothing else. Looks like its time to get rid of this profile. Wtf. How can I be such an odd duck in a pond full of odd ducks ?!?!? Peace:/

6/4/2012 4:32:45 PM A nice cleansing enema, a facial mask, hair mask, shower and fresh makeup. I feel like a girl again:)