Finding a Potential Dom..questions that should be asked:

finding an appropriate Dom is something that should be approached with a great deal of thought. Just because a man is Dominant does not mean he will make a good Dominant for every submissive.

If you are new to submission then you MUST be careful.

A true Dominant says:
"I feel privileged to have gained the prize of your submission. As your Dominant, it is my obligation to guide you, teach you, care for you and do my very best to ensure your overall happiness & well-being. Yes I will make demands on you, both physical and mental. And yes I will also set you tasks, some of which may be mundane; others may challenge and take you out of your comfort zone. But these will only ever be designed to aid your development as my submissive, never simply for my personal gain. And all I ask for in return is your submission, nothing more."

A poor or fake Dominant says:
"I own you. Do as I say"
Note the difference, especially online!!!

There are several things a submissive needs to look for in a potential Dominant.. But before doing that, she needs to first look inside of herself and decide what she wants and needs from such a relationship. Is she looking to be a sub or slave....is the potential Dom looking for a sub or slave.
a submissive needs to then ask her potential Dominant the following questions to see if they would make a good pair. Doing this can make the difference in life and death in some cases. Safety should always be foremost in a submissive's mind when seeking a Dominant partner.
Is he looking for a short term or a long term relationship?
D/s relationships can be anything from occasional play partners to committed lifetime partnerships. It is very important that a submissive is looking for the same kind of relationship as her potential Dom.
What aspects of the scene is a potential dominant into?
Is the potential dominant sadistic?
there are Many things to be taken into consideration and asked.
If in doubt....Ask.

There is much a submissive must consider in choosing a Dominant. It is very easy for a submissive to get swept away under a Dom's control without asking the important questions first. But by asking the questions, she will be saving herself a lot of heartache down the road. She will also increase the odds that she will be entering into a relationship that is safe and consensual in every aspect.

Man Up

In these "taken in hand", "50's household" circles, groups, discussion boards and blog's, the overwhelming majority of contributions are about the Women. What THEY should do, what THEY should say, how THEY should behave. Very little is ever said about the Men, their responsibilities, the standard of measures that they should have to live up to.
I find that abhorrent, and I believe that mentality is at the source of why Feminism ever came about to begin with.

Now, Women are free to post their two cents here. But understand as you read this dear and gentle reader, that I am making this post as a Man speaking to Men. Thus I am speaking to them as Men do to one another when not in mixed company. Not a lot of equivocation here, not much pussyfooting around or going out of my way to be delicate with any ones feelings.

1. Men. You're fat and soft. That is your fault. Not someone else. Hit the gym. Get a P90X program. Stop eating all that damn sugar and corn syrup. Whatever. Just take care of it, and take care of it yourself. Your Mommy may love you unconditionally, but no one else does. Nut up. No one expects you to be Jack La Lanne (google it, kid), but If you can't at least half ass-ed take care of yourself, what the hell makes you think anyone else would want you to take care of them?

2. You're dressed like your clothes came off the bathroom floor. This is your fault. Not society's'. You don't have to have or spend a lot of money to dress better than you do. My Grandfather worked the farm, drove a milk delivery truck when he was 14. He grew up to be a San Francisco dock worker in the Pile Drivers Union. He built docks, railroads, was a carpenter, 72 through 77 he was a site foreman working on the Alaskan pipe line. he worked up until two months before his death. A 40 hour work week was to him, semi retirement. Yet when he took his wife out for dinner, he was dressed like he was on his way to an awards ceremony. He was never anything other than blue collar, but even if he was just taking his pre-teen grand kids to Round Table pizza in Dublin Ca, he wore slacks, cowboy boots, a dress shirt and a bo-lo tie. So did the majority of his friends.
Some of you assholes can't be bothered to tuck in your "no fear" T-shirt into your poorly fitting jeans on a date.
Your boss or coworkers don't really respect you? Women don't respect you? How you present yourself is probably a good place to start, dickhead. Man up.

3. Grow the hell up and take out the piercings, stop with the stupid ass tattoos (they stopped being cool, novel or unique 20 years ago. Fucking' let it die, already) and for Pete's sake, get a damn hair cut. You want to be treated like a Man? You can start by looking like one. Maybe if you start to look like one, you'll start to feel like one, and if you feel like one maybe you'll start to act like one. And when you act like one, you'll be one and when you are one, you'll be treated like one.
And spare me the feel good-ism bullshit about the clothes not making the Man. That's an intellectually vapid cop out crock of shit, even if your mommy told you otherwise.

4. Stop hanging out with Women, and start dating them. Stop treating them the same way you treat your male friends. They deserve that much respect and consideration. They are not your buddies. You wonder why a Woman does not regard you as her alpha? Because you don't treat her like you are. She's not your "buddy". She is not a "dude". She is a Lady. Act like a Man, and treat her like a Lady, even when she does not act like a lady Herself. Stop swearing like Andrew Dice Clay around Women, even if they are themselves speaking that way. If you take your own standards for yourself up a level, it WILL rub off on how others view you. The loss of distinction between Men and Women has also meant a loss of novelty, mystery and mutual consideration. Be a Man and reclaim those things. Got "friend zoned" ? There is a reason. It's because that is what you made of yourself. The Lady didn't "Friend zone" you, YOU "friend zoned" you.
Stop treating her like she is one of the fellas, and she'll stop acting like one of them. And just maybe, she'll also stop treating you like you're one of the girls.

5. Time Management. If you are over 20 and still own a "Game console", you should have your ass beaten. If you have time enough to use a game console, you REALLY aught to have your ass beaten. Put it down, turn it off, go outside. Visit with your family. Go do volunteer stuff or something. Clean your damn house. Whatever. Anything besides sit there like a baked potato spacing out passively on the couch.

6. Urban culture. Just knock it off. It wasn't cool back when it was cool, so let it die, too. To "chill" is not an activity or a hobby. An inverted, backwards peace sign makes you look like a dickhead in photographs. If you like rap music, fine. Whatever. That does not however, require that you go about behaving like an advertisement for Eminem.

7. Man the fuck up. Stiff upper lip, what what. Face and deal with your problems head on. Be the predator that your UFC walk-in music makes you feel. Sometimes there can be legitimate problems and stresses in life, true. But 99.999 percent of the things Men today whine about are absolute bullshit. You need to stop your emotional bullshit, accept that life is sometimes going to throw you a curve and deal with it head on. Grandpa, at 17 years old, sat in the cold metal hull of a navy ship and rode across the Atlantic drinking shite Navy issued rum and smoking Camel cigarettes, leaving his family and home behind for three years. He went to go kill Nazi's. At 17. He went cold, he went hungry, he went tired, he went into real danger. And most notably, he went voluntarily. He came home proud of himself, his brothers, his family and his country, and he went right to work, capitalizing on the freedoms he won for his world.
Some of you little pussy boys' today throw temper tantrums in your 20s' when you can't get your i-pod to download Lady Gag-gag. You squeal more than your girlfriends do at snakes and spiders. Carrying the garbage out makes you feel icky.
Get the sand out of your vagina and fucking' deal.

8. Learn how to manage your finances. Why the hell should any Woman trust you to provide if you can't balance your checkbook? I mean,, seriously.

9. Clean your living space. If you respect yourself and your home, she'll respect you as well.

10. Hygiene. Here is a good rule to go by: If you would like her to suck it (Whatever "it" is), shave it and wash it before presenting it.

11. It's responsibility, not privilege. Being head of household means responsibility, not privilege. Don't waste time on what you "get" to do to her or have her do, instead worry on making sure you deserve those things. It is not "Do I get a blow job? ", it's "Do I deserve a blow job? ". And having a cock is not enough reason to get it sucked.

So Man up. Pull your damn pants up, watch your language in mixed company, treat her like a Lady, dress like a Gentleman, work more often than not, stop screwing off wasting time, deal with your problems instead of whining about them, be responsible with your money, your home and yourself and for fucks sake, face the fact that it's NOT all about YOU.

Dickhead.