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| I'M CURRENTLY UNDER CONSIDERATION
I am a BBW who is new to the BDSM lifestyle, looking for a dominate male to train me with patience and firmness. Seeking a LTR with the realization that a relationship must be built slowly and with trust. That BDSM is not the whole of a relationship but an aspect to it that makes both persons feel more whole. Looking for the man who can be vanilla in front of the world and keep our lives to ourselves unless after time we come to a new arrangement. I am not just seeking a cheap thrill but a lasting and fullfilling relationship with someone who is willing to love and respect me and show it even while punishing and playing. Somone who doesn't always have to be "on" but can be just a guy with his girl. Not into public displays of anything but vanilla affection. I want to stretch my boundaries and to do so I must find a man that I can trust and love and who realizes that neither of those things is easily given and who will work to attain and keep them. I do not want to be a slave, but do want to see how far being a sub can take me as I have only been a bottom before and only for a little while at that.
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A little about me, I am 25 and a big girl. I am very much a newbie and hoping to make my first real foray into D/s one that is with the guidance of a firm but loving Dom inside a LTR. While I am willing to start a relationship on the phone and online I do want 24/7 sooner or later, although I would be willing to relocate for THE man in my life. I could go on further on this line or even on a list of things i like/dislike or am curious about, but why don't you just ask me what you want to know as well as tell me what you want me to know about you. |
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I was reading a little in the forums and saw this and thought it was a very good example of the struggle subs have sometimes, but also a good guide for what a D/s relationship should strive for and why.... I used to have a lot of difficulting asking him for anything, particularly for help. This was due to a lot of baggage issues I was carrying around with me at the time. But by not asking him for help, I was taking his authority by deciding for him already, that the answer was no. By not asking, I was making assumptions, which is rarely healthy in a relationship. By not asking, I was not communicating my desires, and denying him a chance to know me, and to know where my head and heart were. By not asking, I was creating a wall between us, living in my own space without allowing him in.
I learned that in asking, the decision remains his. He can always say no. Asking does not mean he will say yes. Asking may result in him asking me a series of questions to understand why I am asking what I am. Asking means I might get the help I need, or I might get to try something new that will bond us more closely, or I might be able to go out with the girls when he's busy on a particular night...and so on.
Not asking means not communicating, and in a relationship where communication is critically important, failing to do so is not only disobedient, but creates a recipe for problems in the future. |
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| Age: 30 |
| Moscow,
Russia |
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