augustus1775

What is a heart to do when it is torn between the love for another and the insatiable desire burning within the loins? A love that will not conceive of dissolving the union for the sake of a cursory exploration of carnal delight; yet a lust that will not cease in it's ravenous appetite. A choice arises, one of great gravity not easily pondered. Sacrifice the love for what will certainly be only a cursory jaunt of the flesh? Deny the longing for the sake of love, no matter how much the hunger still burns? Or walk that treacherous slope in trying to satisfy both needs at once.

To my eternal shame I have chosen to walk in both worlds, knowing full well that constitutes a breach of trust and loyalty to my beloved. Were she of the temperament I would gladly rejoice in the best of both worlds. Yet I cannot conceive of such an outcome and yet cannot deny the need to expose these desires to the light of day. So it is with great guilt that I elect for the third option, hoping to satisfy the thirst that burns within me. I enter into this option knowing full well it can only be temporary; for my heart and conscious cannot long stand treachery.

In the shameful comfort of my decision, I take solace in noting that men throughout history have found themselves trapped in such dilemmas. The craving for love & lust, yet unable to find them occupied within the same person. I have no illusions, my choice is base intellectual dishonesty and will pain my conscious till my heart ceases to beat. Yet I cannot either conceive of walking my days repressing a part of myself. It is then my hope to find a woman of sympathetic nature who would have an interest in entertaining the perversities of a submissive. One who would understand the need for discretion and honor that precondition.