Its hard to come to terms with what happens in my life. How much do I cause to happen even though I want the opposite? When I changed what I want on my profile to women, right away two of the women seemed to pull me to them. One wanted a lot of writing and that is tooooo much for a full time student, but why I didn't I tell her? The other is almost the perfect sexy older friend who you find yourself in bed with because you know it will be safe.
Then, just like that!--the boyfriend wakes up, comes alive and a dazzling ten days of pretty good vanilla sex. Then this afternoon, I realize its been a whole week since I was here! and then the hunger is there again. I am not looking for advice. This is a written "note to self". |