The ?POP? Syndrome.
(part 1 - - not that I expect anyone to take the time required to read all of this)
?POP? = Pleasure Of Pain
It is interesting to me to see so many women on Collarme that announce themselves as masochists or pain sluts, seeking someone to bring pain to them during play, and even integrate it into the essence of their relationships on a psychological level.
And I have a theory as to why this is.
The tool that you are using to assimilate, process, evaluate and respond to the words you read on this page, is called the ?conscious mind.? This consciousness is a very handy survival tool, useful, in fact necessary for every day existence. It affords us the ability to avoid cracking our head on a tree branch or busting our shin on a coffee table at 3 am. It allows is to identify predators or dangerous situations and respond by defending or evading such situations; it conveys to us physical needs and the means to address those needs so as to maintain and preserve biological life. It allows us to communicate with others and generally interact with the environment around us.
However, clearly, the consciousness is simply a filtration system. The nerves in the body, affixed as they are to the mind, receive stimuli by way of the senses, and this stimuli is interpreted by the conscious mind into what we call thought or impression. And it is from that thought that a conscious response in one form or another originates.
This process can be subtle and require no ?willful effort? whatsoever; such as reaching out to grasp a glass of water, or complex and involved; such as contemplating and then expressing through artistic efforts, the endless un-fathomable cosmos whirling around us.
But in either case, it is the filter of the conscious mind that effects such interpretation of stimuli, and initiates some form of response to it or expression of it.
But it is not who, or what you are. The essence of humanity is not found in the collective or individual consciousness of mankind.
This fact, contrary to observation and popular opinion is all to easily proven. Do you sleep? Yes. Are you conscious when you sleep? No. Do you cease to exist because you are not conscious? No. In other words, you are no longer conscious, no longer self-aware either with respect to yourself, or yourself with respect to your environment. You are ?out.? However, you continue to exist. Even dream.
Clearly there are times throughout your existence when that thing that you think you are ? (i.e. your conscious mind), is in fact, literally ?turned off? - as in no longer functioning, - yet you continue to function, continue to ?be,? continue to exist.
The sub-conscious mind does not ?sleep.? It never shuts off. In fact, because it never shuts off or ?sleeps? - absolutely every thought, feeling, experience or action that you have ever perceived through your conscious mind during your entire walk through life is carefully recorded and neatly cataloged within the recesses of your sub-conscious mind. Everything. This sub-conscious mind is also what is responsible for maintaining vital bodily functions, such as heart beat, digestion, and a vast number of other activities essential to the definition of life.
This is where you live. This is who you are. The sub-conscious mind is what you are as an entity.
While we use our conscious mind to interpret ?sense? and respond to emotion, it is in fact from the sub-conscious mind that such emotion or feeling originates. If you feel happy, or sad, depressed or excited, angry or aroused, it is because your conscious is receiving this emotional stimuli from your sub-conscious, and ?you? or rather the conscious filtration system that affords you self-perception and interaction with others and your environment, is acting in response to the stimuli given to it by the real you, or your sub-conscious mind.
In tern, the sub-conscious, not directly hooked up to the nerves of the body and not having any direct interaction with the environment, must then receive information from that filtration system called our consciousness, in order to receive and record the information. The sub-conscious does not have direct access to eyes, ears, nose, tongue or finger tips, and is therefore totally dependent upon the conscious mind to send it information about the environment. The sub-conscious is dependent upon the conscious for external stimuli and sensory input.
However, the conscious mind, in its turn, does not have direct access to the emotions, memories and driving motivational forces or essence of ?you.? It must receive this input from the sub-conscious mind that governs such emotional responses, and is completely dependent upon the sub-conscious to ?feel.?
Thus, each is mutually dependent upon the other, which is what creates the complexities of the human brain. This is why we are all so completely wacked!
To illustrate this point further, we all know that virtually every physical experience no matter how intense it is; is remembered in the third person ? objectively, as if viewing it through a filter. We remember ?that? it hurt, or ?that? it felt good, but when we recall the event in our mind, we do not re-experience that sensation ? we simply recall that the sensation occurred. We do not feel that pain or pleasure again when we recall the experience with our conscious mind. However, in contrast, when we relive or re-experience an emotional hurt or joy, we can relive or re-experience the emotional pain associated with that event. The conscious mind does not allow you to ?relive? physical pain, but the sub-conscious mind does allow you to ?relive? emotional pain.
Now then, if it is true that ?the eyes are the window to the soul? (and I suspect there is some truth to this), then what we are seeing when we look another in the eye - is our own individual conscious minds attempt to interpret visual stimuli received through the retina of our own eyes, as we perceive the fusion of sub-conscious driving motivational forces handed to and filtered through the conscious mind of the one we are looking at.
In other words, her sub-conscious, that local within which she truly resides as a being, is sending emotionally driven information that is the result of her past experiences, to her conscious mind, which in turn is interpreting that internal stimuli by way of her conscious mind, resulting in a ?feeling? or ?state of being? that she unwittingly projects through her eyes - to you.
You, in turn, are using your visual cortex to receive and interpret that stimuli by way of your conscious mind, and then transfer that information to your sub-conscious for emotional interpretation, which is then relayed back to your conscious mind in the form of an emotionally perceived response to what you see when you look into her eyes.
Got a headache yet?
Now then, if it is true (and evidence suggests that it is) that the ?soul? does indeed exist in spite of the current socially acceptable thinking that there is no such thing; then clearly the heart of a human soul resides within the complex undulations of that which we call the sub-conscious mind. If it is ever to be ?found? then it will be found in the sub-conscious for it is, as we have stated, the sub-conscious that governs not only the essence of biological and physical life, but also the sub-conscious that houses and governs memory, and emotion. And, emotion is the driving motivational force behind all human action.
Throughout human history man has sought to access his spirit, get in touch with his soul, and access the divine ? to be with God. Even a devout atheist is in fact dedicating a great deal of time and energy towards the concept of ?no God? which is clearly a lot of time and energy actually given to God.
Virtually everything about the entire scope of human culture has always been man?s unquenchable thrust for a relationship with his God. (I can substantiate this claim in exhaustive detail for those who wish to challenge).
To this end, men have created various methods of suppressing the conscious to access the divine. Man has designed things such as extremes of pain, sensory depredation and the utter absence of any stimulation driving the conscious out of itself: sexual stimulation, repeated and successive orgasms tripping the consciousness out of the way; meditation, seeking to willfully seduce the consciousness out of the way: certain psilocybin based drugs, seeking to catapult the sub-consciousness into prominence ? and any other number of complex rituals involving stimuli designed and intended to facilitate what we call an ?altered state of consciousness? or to ?transcend the confines of the conscious mind.? The goal of these enterprises is and has always been to free the soul; to access the divine; to become one with God; to return to Eden.
These spirit quests are so intense and extreme that the conscious mind retreats, thus leaving the door open for the sub-conscious, and letting the spirit soar. Freedom.
The conscious interpretation of God, the conscious ?communion with the divine? is dramatically lessened, reduced, filtered by the limitations and workings of the conscious mind. We try to stuff the vastness of the immaterial into the confines of the material world, and lose the very essence of what we seek. The conscious mind cannot fully comprehend, grasp, bask in, become, or adequately express to others the true nature of man, the spirit or soul, or God, because it is simply an environmental filtration system and nothing more. The conscious mind seeks to identify, isolate and dissect, label and categorize in pretty little pigeon holes, so as to attain some perception of control over. And a feeling of control however false an illusion it may be, illuminates any sense of uncertainty, this, eliminated the fear we feel when facing that over which we have no control or do not understand.
Therefore this ?enemy of the soul? that is the conscious mind, must be removed from the equation, so as to free the sub-conscious and the spirit in order to access God.
Any and all honest efforts to be the spiritual creature that we are, to develop a growing relationship with our God, or to express that relationship with others, demands that we get that ?blasted? filtration system that is so restrictive and limiting ? out of the way, - so as to let free the sub-conscious mind that is who we truly are as beings.
However, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to use the consciousness to remove the conscious mind. Like asking a computer infected with a virus to cure itself ? impossible. To do it, you must introduce additional information or tools, all of which must originate from outside the infected computer, and be introduced into it. Thus, we employ the conscious introduction of extremes of conscious stimuli, so as to cause the conscious to retreat from itself, resulting in an ?altered state of awareness or consciousness.?
To illustrate the point ? some forms of pain do not exceed the capacity of the conscious mind, such as a cut or scrape. However, on occasion the trauma or physical damage becomes so intense, so extreme that the conscious mind retreats from existence, as if to isolate or insulate itself from the stimuli it is receiving, such as an auto accident. We have all experienced, or know someone who has experienced this ?distancing? of ourselves from the pain being experienced ? pain so extreme - that screaming is pointless. However, the injured person is not ?un-conscious? either. And that is the point.
Still with me??
In other words, this girl, this masochist, this pain slut, in possession of a soul and therefore driven by the sub-conscious emotional desire to commune with the divine, weather she realizes it or not, is seeking to receive physical stimuli so extreme and intense, that it begins to assist her conscious mind in actually suppressing her consciousness through this extreme stimuli, and thus grant her access to her own sub-conscious, or the logos, or her soul.
She is seeking to consciously drive away her conscious so as to free her true self ? free her sub-conscious, and thus, free her spirit or her soul; and, like so many millions before her, she is introducing the extremes of conscious stimulation of pain (in this instance) to achieve the suppression of consciousness and set herself free.
Pain = suppression of conscious mind.
Suppression of Conscious mind = liberation of sub-consciousness and soul
Liberation of sub-conscious or soul = communion with God
Therefore pain = Freedom
Freedom = access to God
The guy with the whip is for all intents and purposes - incidental. On a sub-conscious level, she is trying to be free, and she needs this extreme of physical stimuli to achieve this spiritual freedom. The whip is just a tool used to administer that pain, and the man who wields this whip ? to her ? on a sub-conscious level is also simply a tool ? she needs him to wield the whip.
In the D/s BDSM community, this is called ?sub-space? although pain is by no means the only way to access this state of mind.
And it is this need to achieve sub-space to transcend consciousness and achieve access to the divine, even if the practitioners are not consciously or willfully aware of it that lucks behind and drives virtually every action taken by every individual within the entire planetary BDSM community. It is this same compelling need within the human being that has given rise to every other aspect of civilization, including civilization itself.
What our wood-be ?pain-slut? is truly seeking is spiritual freedom and communion with the divine, weather she is aware of it or not. She wishes to pierce the akoshik (I have no idea how to spell that word) record and transcend the confines of mind and body to become the free spirit she is, and be with God.
Her problem is, that more often than not, she has no clearly defined conscious goal, or objective. She is trying to do this, but does not know intellectually that ?this? is what she is trying to do. Because she does not know what she is seeking or questing after, because she has no established goal, she cannot successfully attain the desperate desire for freedom that is sub-consciously driving her actions. Like trying to hit a target you cannot see and do not know is there.
Compounding the problem still further, is that 98% of the men she encounters either themselves have no clue what-so-ever, or are so preoccupied with their own desires that they do not care to serve her need. So ? she flounders. Like everyone, she gets in her own way, reserving some part of self-preservation and demonstrating a lack of trust or faith in her partner, she insulates herself from her own efforts to insulate her consciousness. Self-consciousness is a block to the suppression of consciousness.
In addition, piercing the akoschik record, transcending the conscious mind and achieving this altered state of awareness is no child?s game either. It can in fact, be outright dangerous.
Sidebar to lay a foundation:
The universe can for illustration purposes, be described as a book; each page in that book representing a different plane of existence, or alternate universe. The material world in which mankind resides, which also includes everything from mountains and oceans to dolphins and birds to the coffee table and computer to you and I - - all exist on the material plane ? or ? exist on one single page of that book. The material world around us is only one page, and there are other pages in the book.
You and I are literally surrounded by entities or creatures or things every moment of our lives. It just so happens, that most of these things exist on a different page of the book, or in another plane of existence or in an alternate universe within the same time/space continuum that we exist within. We do not see them, perceive them, interact with them, and for the most part, they are equally unaware of us. But these things exist and are there none-the-less.
(Disconcerting thought isn?t it? Now you know why this is such a heated topic of discussion for so many people)
When you transcend the conscious mind - (remember; it is material, owing to the bio-chemical, neurological and chemical configurations of the human brain, and designed to facilitate our personal interaction with that which is also material) - you literally step onto another page of that universe. You move from one set of rules into another from one world into another, from one form of existence, to another. In other words, you just stepped into somebody else?s back yard, and the moment you do that, you introduce yourself to it. The creature, entity, being or thing that naturally exists on that plane of existence is now fully aware of your presence, because you have stepped into his world and his method of environmental perception and interaction.
Remember also, because you exist as an entity in your own right, and because you also possess ?physical life? you glow or radiate from you a light or emanate a presence that is perceivable and recognizable to the things that naturally exist on that plane, and many of these entities or things will naturally gravitate towards that light.
Most of the things that exist in these alternate states of being, or alternate universes or different pages of the book, are benevolent. They might be curious, but generally speaking, they could not care less weather you are there or not.
Some will run from you because of the danger you represent to them. (and you do)
Some of these things may very well turn out to be beneficial to you in some form or another, offering (consciously or un-consciously) energy, paths to different planes or other bodies, or whatever.
But as is also the case in our plane of existence ? some of them are predatory in nature, and can be out right aggressive or hostile; in fact, down-right fucking dangerous.
So, clearly, transcending your conscious mind and wondering around in the ackoschik record is serious business and not to be taken lightly.
In addition to all of this, is the fact that you do still exist in our own good ol material plane of existence, (remember your body, back there twitching in a puddle of cum??) and you must eventually return to that physical form, however much you might not want to at the time.
So, for your sub-conscious driving motivational need to free your spirit from the fetters of the conscious, to transcend the mind and liberate the soul, to soar and be with God, you need first to have all your ducks in a neat row. Because one of the consequences to setting aside that filtration system, suppressing the conscious mask that we all fabricate and present to the world around us, is the sudden opening of the flood gates within your sub-conscious mind.
In other words, now that you are free to explore, you are also exposed to yourself - - and to those other entities on that other plane, and to your probably bewildered partner. Virtually all of the deep hidden insecurities, traumas and childhood tragedies, crushed hopes and dreams, fears and ?issues? that you deliberately repress and deny from both yourself and the world around you - will suddenly come pouring out of you; unrestricted and unencumbered by that conscious self-preservation and security system that you have just suppressed.
Believe me sweetheart - you have no idea what naked, vulnerable and exposed is, until you repress the conscious filter you hide behind and trip into the ackoschik record. You are suddenly truly naked ? naked in a way you have never been before - naked in a way that has nothing to do with your body.
You got exactly what you were asking for - your soul is now free, and free means your soul is now exposed. Remember, your conscious mind is a wall between you, and the world around you, and that world includes both you, and your partner. That conscious mind you sought to rid yourself of so as to finally be free ? has reasons for its existence and therefore has its uses. It is a shield between you, and your sub-conscious. A shield between you, and the world around you.
Be warned.
You need to be aware of all these idiosyncrasies before you begin.
First, you need to accept and admit to yourself, that this is ultimately what you are trying to do. This is your objective, your goal. Your most important goal is ?why? you need to do this. You need to have a clearly defined goal, establish an objective for that event, because once there, something inside you is going to burst out and flop itself in your partners lap. And when you return to your consciousness, that ?special little something? that your soul vomited up while your conscious mind was not on guard, is going to be sitting there waiting for you. Like a kid with a diaper full of crap, you are going to have to clean up the mess weather you like it or not ? and having pulled this thing out of yourself and exposed it to you and all the world means that reintroducing your customary conscious denial will no longer be effective.
You need to be prepared to retreat if things get harry ? and know how to do so. You need someone ?on the ground? to tether you, guide you and help not only to keep you safe, but also to bring you home again. You need someone who has a clue what is going on, understands what the two of you are trying to achieve, and has some shred of comprehension as to what he can expect and how to deal with it. This partner has to have you, and your best interests at heart ? there cannot be any selfish gain or satisfaction lurking in the back of his mind. If your partner is not ?there for you? and completely attentive to you during your trip outside yourself, the potential for trouble escalates accordingly.
Furthermore, your partner, witnessing and attentive to your transcendent trip into the realm of spirit, unfettered by the restrictions of the conscious mind, has the power and ability to be of profound help not only in guiding you but also in helping you release those hidden issues deep within you. He can coax them out of you; draw you out and into the world during this situation.
Wherein lies one of the benefit to her.
Healing.
The result, if this is all done with caring and proper attitude towards it, is a profound leap forward in your growth and development as a spiritual human being, and as a emotional and psychological creature. By pulling from your sub-conscious mind those horrible and traumatic events of your past, (now easily accessible by way of your suppression of the conscious filtration system) these issues can now be faced, examined for what they are, reduced in emotional and psychological magnitude to proper perspective and addressed in proper fashion so as to allow you a healing from them.
Healing is, by definition, moving past or beyond the painful event in such a way as to act or live as though the event never happened in the first place, or to reduce to a minimum the effects of that past event in the rest of your life.
You cut your hand and cannot hold a glass of water ? healing from that means that your body has gone through the process of repair to effect new tissue growth, and so now you can grasp a glass of water at any time without further hindrance from the damage that occurred when you cut yourself. You have healed and moved on.
In our topic here, (?sub-space? if you will), you literally vomit forth the psychological or emotional illness that hampers your growth as a human being, and in so doing, literally cut the spiritual chains that have been holding you back for so long, thus, allowing you unrestricted movement in the future.
This then becomes the goal and objective, duty, responsibility and obligation of your partner. Having surrendered to him enough trust to let him take you there, also means he must seek to help you achieve that goal of spiritual healing, and his show of trust in you, is in taking that obligation seriously, and with reverence.
Let me paint a picture to illustrate this.
Consider a girl who was molested as a child by someone who was at the time, a trusted member of the family (happens all too frequently). Not only has this child, not of sexual age or consent been physically violated and subsequently traumatized to such an extent that most men will never fathom its depth, but she was also betrayed by someone she thought she could and should have been able to trust.
Obviously there are serious emotional and psychological scars. And this is not a situation that can be ?healed? in an instant ? time is a principle component in the healing process.
Assuming she can find within her sufficient trust to allow her partner to take her to this domain of sub-consciousness or altered state of consciousness, assuming she can find it within herself to wonder willingly within the pages of a book that is the alternate universe (and that is a bigger leap of faith than most can grasp), eventually she is bound by the suppression of the conscious filtration system of the conscious mind to suddenly let loose the flood gates of this childhood trauma. It will pour from her like rivers of water long trapped behind the confines of a suddenly shattered damn weather she wants it to or not, spilling out all over everything.
When she returns from her trip and is restored to full consciousness, there she is. There her partner is. Both of them sitting there staring at the brand new naked baby she just gave birth too ? her past - and all of the emotions associated with that experience. And this thing that is no longer hidden, camouflaged by the dressings of ego or the mask of consciousness, demands your attention.
She may sub-consciously feel that somehow she brought that experience onto herself, that she is responsible. She may feel that she was also betrayed by the rest of her family who swept the issue under the rug and effectively hung her out to dry in the process, because they were unable to deal with it. She may feel a strong desire for revenge or justice. She may express these issues with self-destructiveness or show a profound fear of everything around her, including mundane things we all take for granted.
She may have many conflicting emotions associated with that trauma, all of which are acting now, (sub-consciously) as chains around her neck, repressing her growth and evolution as a human being, and affecting her entire life, including her loving relationships and immediate family and ability to be happy.
Obviously healing from an issue that cannot be altered owing to the fact that it is in the past, is essential if she is to move forward with the rest of her life and achieve any level of success or real and lasting happiness. (this is not to say deny or further repress the issue ? this is to say make the necessary sub-conscious emotional and psychological adjustments to memories of that event, so as to put the event in a perspective that will allow her to move on with the rest of her life according to her potential as a human being and an individual. As opposed to continuing to allow those events of the past to haunt her, and thus, direct her thoughts and actions today, which in turn determine her life and circumstance tomorrow).
In other words, your thoughts and feelings determine your actions; your actions determine your environment, your circumstance and your life. If your thoughts are guided by events of the past, (always looking back ? or ? looking forward through the tainted glasses of the past) then they are not guided by visions of the future, or dreams and goals for your life and your future ? i.e. no healing, no growth. So, the glasses must be wiped clean of distortions so she can see clearly, and make accurate choices and decisions with respect to the rest of her life.
Now then ? let us for sake of further illustration assume that you (the Dom) and your girl discovered this issue when she ?tripped out? in sub-space or successfully suppressed her conscious mind to such an extent, that suddenly this issue came bursting forth from her in a river of tears.
She thought she had long ago healed from it, put it behind her and moved on. But obviously she did not, because now there it is.
Remember, being in that altered state of consciousness, having suppressed her conscious filtration system, and literally removed from her that self-preservation security system that would otherwise result in fight or flight if she were ever confronted with this issue also means that you have an unusually well exposed target in which to help her heal.
Wondering in the ackoschik record not only renders her totally naked ? but also affords you the opportunity to ?speak directly to her sub-conscious mind,? without hindrances from the conscious filtration system that us usually in place, and in doing so plant new seeds of thought within her. Seeds that if cared for regularly will grow to fruition in short order. Seeds such as ?you are not responsible,? ?you have a right to confront your family in your anger, they betrayed you ? but remember they also are human and the event effected them because of their love for you, so if you do confront them do so with love for them,? or ?perhaps it is time to forgive him and let go so that you can move on.? Or any number of appropriate suggestions that will help her address the issue and come to a place of healing from it.
Obviously the potential dangers are every bit as real as the potential help. If you do not know what you are doing, wondering around and playing with the .exe files in your computer could really screw up your operating system. Furthermore, if she is not ready for this, you could easily push her too far too soon. And equally obvious, is the profound level of trust she has to have already placed in you before any of this ever happens.
Another of the benefits to her that exists if she is willing to ?go there? with her partner is a level of connection and understanding and ?melding of souls? between the two of you that is indescribable and unparalleled. The two of you have come to know one another on a level so deep so utterly complete and accurate with respect to the real and true you, that nothing on earth could ever destroy your relationship ? save the two of you.
In other words ? the one and only way to really achieve the level of love and trust and commitment that you want in your relationship with your partner, is ? sub-conscious or no sub-conscious, sub-space or no sub-space, consciousness or no consciousness ? is to open yourself up completely and willingly, and let your partner inside. No restrictions, no secrets, no withholdings. Expose yourself for who and what you are.
Take the risk.
