ArcaneNightshade


Arcanum Male Dominant, 57	ArcAngel Male Switch, 38	ARCANIST Male Dominant, 42, Schenectady, New York

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	Masterobeyme



	About ArcaneNightshade Searching.....

so confused/hurt/hopeless

Now I'll take the blame
So forget my name
Just close the blinds
So I can come down

I'm naked and shamed
Moth to the flame
Just take my hand
So we can both drown

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only relief is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again

The same sweet game
Your halo is a flame
Feel my heart race
And breathe a sad sigh

Let me wash away
And let go of the pain
Just look away
And turn a blind eye

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only relief is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/seether/#share

Just when I think I find someone they go MIA and find someone else. What is it about me that pushes men into other's arms?

slowly opening my eyes - slowly my eyes focus - I can feel the cloth under my body - i can feel the leather wrapped around my ankles, wrists, and neck - i slowly move my arms and legs hearing the chains clank - i remember........a smile crosses my lips - i look around the room for Master - I did not see Him, but then i felt His fingers slide though my hair and His warm breath on my ear - then i heard His amazing voice whisper -- very good my slave amber - good girl.

My fingers slide down my neck, Feeling no collar locked around my neck, i start to feel so many emotions, failure, hope, despair, understanding, wonderment, Clsoing my dark brown eyes - i remember how wonderful the leather felt on my neck, A sadden smile spreading on my lucious lips, hoping to one day feel what it is to be home again

Tears are for the soul - As soap is for the body

i know that i want to believe in happy endings - i know that the only things worth having are those you work for - i believe there is a soul mater out there for everyone - i believe that differences and diversity should be celebrated and accepted - i believe there is more to life then work and seeing things as only black and white - i believe that everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt at least once - i believe you should always stop and admire beauty, whether its a rose, an old maple tree that has decades of lovers initals carved into it or a white tail deer walking through a meadow - i believe you should never go to bed upset with your lover, it is never good to sleep when things are not finished - i believe trust, respect, and love should be earned and loyality, devotion, and acceptence should be given in return - i believe we are lucky to have a handful of true friends in a lifetime - i believe adding brightness to a dark day can always help

What I miss about being in a D/s relationship....: 1. Hearing the two words "good girl" and feeling so proud.

2. Feeling the comfort of a collar around my next and being worthy to wear it

3. Saying two words "yes Master" and feeling overjoyed

4. Giving personal attentions - shaving, grooming, manicures, pedicures, etc.

5. How complete i felt at His feet - as His fingers played with my hair

6. Knowing that i pleased Him

7. Serving Him

8. Able to know Him as both a Man and Master

9. Seeing His smile and knowing everything will be OK - something i am missing right now

10. Feeling as if i belonged somewhere

11. Learning/understanding so much about myself.

And this list could continue and continue. However, i am not sad that these things are missed. i am thankful that i have been fortune enough to feel these feelings and understand what it is to give yourself to Someone completely. I am thankful for the experiences i have encounter, and if i encounter them again - it will be a glorious day and if i don't i will be thankful for my memories.

As i walk through the valley of confusion - i search for what i seek for completion - Explainations, understanding, for me to be seen and cherished for exactly whqat i am - avoiding the domons of the past - breaking their hold on my self esteem - i continue through the valley of confusion - Feeling lost and alone, but knowing i could never give up seeking - for if did give up i allow all my past demons win me over - i beg of You to find the time to react a hand out into the darkness to help me and guide me.? As i have been told i am "damaged goods" but bplease do not assume because of that that i am incapitable of becoming undamaged? - still walking through the valley of confusion

Submissive

is not weak

is not mindless

is not a doormat

is not looking for an abuser

is not strange

is not a freak

is not afriad of an independent life

i am a very strong willed person

i am a very intelligent woman

i am capable and i do have my own ideals

i am looking for a Master who understands my desires and wants and who cherishes them

i am lucky enough to know my comfortable spot in life - serving

i am an open minded person who uses the correct term fetishes and have several of them.

i have my independent life - just because i serve someone or am owned doesn't mean i lost myself.? It means i found someone who loves all my "quirks" and most importantly..... they understand ME!!!

Stars Twinkle.? A mild breeze blows.? The moon shines brightly.? Letting the bare skin sparkle from the droplets of sweat.? Two bodies melting together.? Two souls combining sharing love and desire.? Her back arching, legs spread swallowing his pleasure.? Fingernails scratching His skin in a teasing, yet exotic way.? Moans of joy, excitement, and lust fill the warm night air.? His grip tightens around her waist thursting together harder and so close....? Muscles tighten, moans turns into screams of a pleasureable "THANK YOU."

Some of my poetry...

Reaching into the darkness

Not sure what to expect

Not sure what to feel

Searching for something...

Hands outstretched

Fingers grasping at air

Feeling the darkness surround me

Feeling the comfort and security

Not fearing the unknown

Desiring to discover and learn more

Accepting the emotions

Learning to accept the emotions

Feeling comfort in the unknown

Feeling secure in my path

Knowing that is what i need to be complete

i accept it all with open arms

i am continuing my search... for now though i am basically looking for friends to chat.? Making friends in this lifestyle i am realizing can be hard, but that still doesn't slow my search. ??

i have decided that i will start using my journal to share my poetry and writings...? i need some way to let my creative side be seen.

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ArcaneNightshade

About ArcaneNightshade