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I ran smack into a disturbing attitude last night.......I was informed that a switch can not be a sub. That being a domme ,part of the time, teaches me bad habits for a sub to have. What bad habits you might ask.....the ability to be a free thinking individual who owns and enjoys her sexuality? The desire to follow a master whom has made me want and desire to submit rather than submissiveness being a given?
Why do so many equate being a sub with the idea one is to be a sex- crazed zombie who goes into stasis between the snippets of his affection. A mindless toy to be pulled out of the closet when it is convenient for them. Existing only for his pleasure and supposed to be thrilled with whatever I get. If this is what you desire, there are sex shops that sell blow up dolls. They have no mind and would exist for only your pleasure. They certainly would not be hurt if you ignored them for several days.....
But you see, I can not be a mindless slut. I have very strong feelings running under the surface. Do I love to submit? You bet your butt I do. Being controlled, dominated gets me running on all cylinders. All systems go. I single-mindedly sink into that zone where I simply obey the voice in my ear. All other thoughts fly out the window. I am not running domme-ly thoughts through my head, plotting on how to turn the tables and get the upper-hand....simply because in that space..thoughts do not exist. I'm simply feeling the joy of pleasing someone. Oh what a subby thought that is.....but wait! I cant have those thoughts because I'm not a true sub.
I love to help people. I love for people to see their full potential...for them to realize that they are worthy and important in their corner of the universe. I love to set rules for their own betterment and know that they will be followed because I have control. Seeing the joy in their faces as their chaotic world calms around them because they feel centered. I love feeling that I have made a difference in someone, some where's life. I get off on the devotion that is displayed to me. But wait.....I can't enjoy that because I'm not a true domme.
I have the ability to thoroughly enjoy and love both sides. What is not understood, is my single minded focus. The ability to give all and immerse myself in whatever role I'm in. When i'm a sub...I'm a sub all the way, the same with being a domme. I'm not conflicted and I'm not confused. I am me. Able to enjoy a wide range of activities with gusto. I am not less at either role I am more.
not a twue anything....rose
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