annajewel

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Do you remember back to the first time you flew through the air off the high board at the pool, that "oh my god" breath catching in your throat combine with that knowing you would land safetly cutting through the water, it catching you and bringing you back to the surface safe and sound?

I need that feeling again, I need the feeling of breath on my skin and the feel of a voice resonating through me, I need to be able to fly through the air and know I am going to have a safe landing with someone to catch me.

It just hit me, I will never experience real life again. Time cannot be rolled back and forward does not look very promising.  The last few years took to much of a toll and left me drained and spent, old and broken both mentally and physically. I am "muture" now, and it shows.

If I could give one piece of advice to someone else in the lifestyle it would be," be giving of yourself but don't give to the point of nothing but a "lean to" to protect your soul. No one will want a soul less slave.

I am beginning to think the 50+ females on here might as well hang it up, all the men want is the younger perky females. What a shame that knowledge and experience don't count when one reaches a certain age. And it really doesn't have to do with looks, its all about the number and something about 50 seems to shut down any interest.

anna