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About alvonina
Where to begin... I have been in the lifestyle for approximately twelve years and I do believe that I will never consider myself something other than a newbie for every day, every action in play or in the vanilla atmosphere, opens up new ideas that offer so many possibilities in play.
Thus far I have dabbled in a few things and have found what I like and what I dislike. As a Service Top I know that I am open to pretty much anything within negotiation and prefer to push the bottom's limits within reason
So far I have never done anything to a bottom that has not been done to myself. I feel that the best Tops/Doms are those that really 'know' themselves and are able to control their actions because they have felt that pain, that pleasure, that sensation that they are currently performing. They are better able to learn their submissives considering that they are not only willing but are eager to try new things for the sub's benefit. After all what is good play without pleasure or satisfaction on both sides? We are not abusers, we are sensation bringers no matter if it be pain or pleasure.
As a submissive I have found that pain has to be a specific thing else it only becomes a non-masochistic distraction. I prefer the fist over the flogger and a slam to the ground over a basic spanking. At my current stage of life I have focused on mainly the mental D/s instead of simple play and am attempting to learn what service truly means.
I admit that I have only truly submitted to few persons, their persona needs to possess a bit of just something that has to be obeyed and I am thankful to have recently found someone that I can submit to. I consider myself a submissive who is also a service-oriented Top. Yes, this concept does make sense.
I am a complicated woman who knows what she wants and will wait patiently for it to happen and I have embraced and followed my own rules. If I wish to learn how to do something in a dominate role, I will first have it done to me.. several times and several different ways just so that I can feel it, experience it and finally understand it.
I am not looking for a master/mistress nor am I looking for a slave/pet. I am here to find people to chat with, become friends with and learn from. I am here to help those that are less familiar with certain topics than I am and to offer that knowledge to them. Please do not message me with a simple a/s/l hey want to be my slave/mistress thing because I will not reply.
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I am currently in training with someone and am finding that I am finally understanding what exactly is gotten out of service to another human being. To be at bended knee and doing the simple act of holding a drink seems to mean the world to my trainer and in turn is allowing me to express my submissive and service-oriented side.
I am truly enjoying this and am slowly figuring out that I am even more complicated than I had originally thought. This teaching relationship just adds another tier to my bdsm and I will admit that I am very much enjoying confusing the masses with my very public switching. (going from kneeling at my trainer's feet to beating the mess out of a subby at a party and then back at their feet)
All I can say is that I am thankful to have them in my life and I do hope that I continue to learn as the years go by and in turn, use this knowledge to further any future submissives that I will train for my own ownership. Who knows, I may end up owned and owning in the years to come, its allllll good. Learning and knowledge is the point and in my own little universe, it is all that matters. |
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