Collarspace.com

2/15/2006 12:14:03 PM
i am keeping a promise to myself that i would actively search for what my heart needs... and would not give up easily.
 
i appreciate the many e-mails that i have received, as they are helping me tremendously to determine the difference between what i think i want and what i really want.
 
i have met a few people, one in particular, who i feel that i could connect with on many levels. Time will tell!!

A lovely Dom wrote some  poetry to me not long ago encouraging me to be "brave" and seek what it is that i need. Just want to let Him know that i am heeding His advice.. thank You Tom.

I also want to thank the many women who have written to say that my profile struck a cord with them... i appreciate knowing that. I must admit that although i have a history of thinking and acting independently, it gave me warm fuzzies to know that several submissive women on this site identified with me! Just more encouragement for me to be true to myself.

1/24/2006 12:06:21 AM
I love my vanilla  life!

I have family in florida that I am close to. My mother has become one of my closest friends. I have a handful of friends that I have been close to for over twenty years and many fun loving acqaintances to pass the time with.

I have a business I love and am fortunate to have a mentor in a business I will be starting soon.
 
I have hobbies that keep me healthy and that can completely occupy my mind and body, giving me  a respite from daily stressors.

I am grateful for my vanilla life and yet....

My body needs something more. My mind craves perfect union with my hearts desires.

I have dated wonderful men and even married (and divorced) a pretty good guy. When I suggested something out of the realms of vanilla he was horrified, thus I began a journey of self-discovery which has taken many interesting twists. I am a submissive and am in no way a switch.  I would love to seriously consider a realtionship that included my vanilla life as well, meaning I do not wish to have a prolonged on-line relationship.

I believe that we can have it all. If I must live without getting what my mind /body/heart crave I would continue to live a satisfying life but I would grieve the loss of that desire not yet realized. So before I decide to grieve the loss of a relationship that I never actually sought in earnest, I thought I would begin making some journal entries and see what happens.