adriang5

Male Dominant, 42, West Midlands

Male Submissive, 43, redmond, Washington

Male Submissive, 20, Cambridge

Picked this up from someone who instantly won my repsect: "A true dominant figures out what a sub already wants and 'forces' her to do it" Alas the author will remain anonymous even to me...

Slaves are won with respect, honesty, trust and a Master with honor.

A slave knows that nowhere is she safe with her master, yet nowhere is she safer.

Sanity. Do we have it, or does it escape us? - as the 'nilla critics would have us believe. The other day I casually sit down with a 'professional'. In other words a shrink. Her verdict is that if one has a passion that feeds your emotional needs then it is an obsession and it is wrong. Now, I venture to say that it is her that is wrong, and on so many levels I wouldn't know where to begin. Moral of the story (for me at least) is that if I ever thought a shrink (by the sole virtue of it being one) can ever help, I was dead wrong. (Maybe I'm wrong on this too - like all generalizations, you know?) So finally I come back and ask, are we sane? After some research and pondering I've reached a conclusion. That is, it is most probably insane to ride on high at all times. But if you go up and down, if you bite from the sweet fruit and then allow it to settle, that is not just normal, it is courageously, truthfully and blissfully normal. Took me so many years to understand what they meant when they said: 'Life is like a box of chocolates'.? (Of course, this is not what they meant, but I choose to understand it this way, anyway!) Some of you may have read Isaac Asimov's 'End of Eternity'. In there, time travel is used to eliminate all bad things from the timeline. Turns out that as a byproduct, they also eliminated the good things and overall this was just as bad. Of course it is science fiction afterall, but the message is clear: to live your life as a flatline is not only boring and wasteful, but bad as well. So keep it sane: have some spikes in your life, have a heartbeat! Without loosing sight of the normal level, do go after what you like. For us here it means: be kinky and be sane, be happy, be yourself! Nothing wrong with that. If we denied it, then well, we'd just be living in denial - a favorite term for our beloved 'nilla fellows.

Today, few of my thoughts on 'trust' as it is seen from the master/dom perspective. More often then not, everybody is focusing on the amount of trust that the sub/slave must have in her dom/master. I'm for dispelling this one way notion and promoting the fact that trust must be a two way highway. You see, a dom ties up a sub and can do whatever he wants with her afterwards. He can hurt her, right. Right! (BTW, he shouldn't!) Then she is untied, and life goes on as if nothing hapend, right? Wrong! A master/dom invested part of his soul in the whole thing. He opened up and gave and received something during the whole process. (Contrary to popular belief, not all men are sensless brutes!) If the sub turns around and claims afterward that she didn't enjoy it, that he forced her, or whatever, him, the master/dom himself is hurt. Well, once it may happen. A few times even. And this may even be a serious problem that the master should recognize and address. However I'm not talking about those cases. I'm talking about a sub not realizing what the master is investing in the relationship and later on disconsidering it. Will the master/dom ever want to engage with that sub/slave again? In his right mind he wouldn't. Because he cannot trust her to keep her end of the bargain. So next time you sub out there wish to be tied/spanked/wipped/humiliated (or whatever you fancy is) think his perspective too: Can he trust you enough to do it to you?

Dear reader, been meaning to write to you for some time now. The thing is, one can't cram down into a short profile all about oneself, and as such should not - in their right mind - choose friends based on 2-3 paragraphs. Come to think of it, I don't even want to tell you everything about me in a profile/journal. If I did it, it'd be so boring if we ever met, would't it? But I'd like to have an imaginary dialog with you - the reader - on may topics, some kinky and some not. If you laugh and ask "What's the point?" I'd have to partly agree with you. This is afterall an entry in a journal and is thus a monologue. Yet my answer (and really my reason) is two fold. Firstly, you - the reader - can turn this into a true dialog? if you were to write to me. And secondly, one is known for his actions and accomplishments, not for just being there. So I take action and do something: I share my thoughts with you. Not because I am vain and want to be known, but because I am alive and life deserves a fair chance. And such, my journal begins. I hope you'll find it entertaining and - at least at times - intellectually intriguing.

Male Switch, 51, Central NJ, New Jersey

Female Dominant, 38, Berlin

Male Switch, 40, Scottsdale, Arizona

Male Dominant, 32

Male Dominant, 21, Buffalo, New York

Female Switch, 21, Cranston, Rhode Island

Male Submissive, 45, paris

Male Switch, 23, San Francisco, California

Male Submissive, 36, Gdańsk

Male Dominant, 20, Gainesville, Florida

Male Submissive, 23, Andrews AFB, Washington D.C.

Male Dominant, 22, Alberta, Edmonton