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adesiretosubmit

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I am the antithesis of the submissive male stereotype. I am self-assured, gregarious and tend to find myself taking the lead, in work, in social situations and in relationships. This, frankly, sucks because it tends to put me completely off dominant peoples radar as a potential partnersubmissive.



So I find myself here.. But then what am I looking for?





There are some very rare people who unabashedly, unselfconsciously and unapologetically want you to get down on your knees and please them. They want to take you, use you, and get what they want from you. These people make my head spin. Some part of me feels like they deserve to get what they want just for wanting it, another part feels words like deserve dont even apply.



Ive encountered these dominant essences in the past. People who radiate a calm surety. People who you feel swept along by, who you imagine will always get what they want regardless (And you want to give them what they want, just because its them who want it..). At the time I ran from this, and now deeply regret doing so. I hope to find similar people again, and make it up to them.



Ive been in the kink scene for a while now, and am by no means naive or unknowing, however I cant claim much experience as a submissive. I consider myself knowledgeable, open minded, flexible and very new. I have a strong interest in many different aspects of Ds, and believe my desired and drives are as realistic and grounded as they are deep and strong. My hope is that this will be a benefit to the right person.



Im mostly straight (1, maaaybe 2 on the Kinsey scale), but I wouldnt let my sexuality define my service. My sexual preference is just that, a preference, and as such it can be taken into account or ignored -- along with all my other preferences. I have vanishingly little experience with men though, so I would be very hesitant as wouldnt want to disappoint. But in the right circumstances its possible.



Ive listed my turn ons and interests, but only because I think think is a fun jumping off point. The list changes and is not exhaustive. I also dont expect these desires to be fulfilled, and I wont refuse to serve in ways not listed. This is about you and your desires. I would put forward the topic of chastitydenialorgasm control though. For me at least I think its important. I know I am much more focused, energetic, submissive and eager when I am denied. Plus, of course, the idea of having my orgasms controlled and denied and arousal building up and up, feeding back into itself, and having someone not only enjoy me in constant denied arousal but using that to push me further into submission and please them... Wow.



Outside of kink Im pretty much the opposite. Im very successful in a professional career, Im confident, attractive, smart and happy. People are generally surprised when they find out I have an interest in submiting to and serving the right person. In fact thats part of the reason Im here I attract submissive women constantly, and I dont know how to give off a I think dominant women are the bees knees vibe.



I have pictures, Im happy to share tham. Im an attractive guy, with black hair and black eyes and an average built. I wear a suit during the work day, and lean altpunkgoth in my personal time. I sport a beard at the moment.

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3/24/2014 5:30:56 AM


"The next sub to try and define what a "real domme" is will get his fucking teeth ripped out. You are in no position to EVER judge or determine who a dominant person is/how they should act."

 

I found that on someone else's profile. I understand what she's getting at and it's coming from a good place. "I'm not a service provider here to fulfil your fantasy. So if I don't act according to the  in your head, tough."

 

No argument there.

 

But what she says is "You are in no position to EVER judge or determine who a dominant person is/how they should actand not only is that demonstrably untrue it's a dangerous mentality to perpetuate.

 

Of course you can judge a dominant person. You can create your own personal definitions of what a Dominant is, and judge whether people match up to that. That's fine. You can absolutely create your own standards of acceptable modes of behaviour in the people you keep in your life. Everyone does, everyone can, and being submissive doesn't change that.

 

If you think dommes are seductive, great. If you think dommes are cold and demanding, great. If you think people in general should be kind and patient, great. If you think people should look out for themselves, great. You get to decide what things "are" and what's right and wrong in your own world.

 

Of course what you don't get to do is tell everyone your standards are THE standards, your definitions are THE definitions, and everyone abides by yours or they're wrong. I mean, you can do that if you want but it's a dick move and people probably won't like you. I won't, at least.

 

"You have a right to judge me, but don't get shitty at me when you're disappointed I don't meet your standards and definitions. I was never trying to." 


11/15/2013 7:10:18 PM

God I hate my profile. It feels true but completely inaccurate. But every change I make just seems to make it worse.

 

I don't think of myself as submissive. Certainly not in the greater world, but not even in kink.. I just adore those dominant, forward, aggressive, sort-of selfish people.

 

When a girl says she's going to lock your cock away and decide when you get to orgasm and it may well be never, oh but if you're good she'll let you crawl under the desk and eat her pussy while she works.. how do you not get weak in the knees and feel the need to say "Thank you"?

 

It feels normal and non contradictory to feel like that and yet not feel particularly submissive.. but it's a hard concept to put into words. For me, at least.


10/29/2012 4:33:27 AM

'Fin Domme' appears to be synonymous with 'not very dominant at all'.


3/7/2012 9:00:59 AM

I don't list things I'm 'into' in my profile because my primary drive is to fulfill other peoples desires and fantasies. If you're into it, I'm into it.


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binkyslilah
 
 Age: 32
 Beds, United Kingdom