Well, here I am…
First, I am owned. That means I’m NOT LOOKING. So if Y/you mail me implying more than friendship, I’ll simply ignore Y/you. On top of that, I will not tolerate disrespect. So if Y/you think just because Y/you call Y/yourself a Dom/me that I’ll obey, Y/you’re mistaken. I’m not a doormat, and I’m NOT Y/yours. If Y/you can’t respect that I’m in a relationship, then Y/you’re not worth my time.
My journey here began in ’07. I had two other accounts, but I ended up deleting them. Obviously this is the one I use now. The other two proved useless—boys and girls trying to be men and women. I’m sure many have the same frustrations. There are too many fakes/posers on here, and like the rest of the “real” people, I wish they’d find something better to do with their lives than sit here and pretend to be something they’re not.
On the bright side, I’ve met (online) many wonderful people here, and have grown quite fond of them. The reason I’m here is for just that; I want to meet (not necessarily in person) different people who share an interest in this life that has been deemed “taboo”.
I will not claim to know everything, or have done/experienced everything, but I can say that I have been through a lot—more than a great deal of people. I’m not perfect, and I’m not an expert. I strive to please, but the way I please obviously depends on my relationship with the person. Clearly I’m not going to get intimate with someone other than my partner; I don’t believe in sharing. That doesn’t mean I’ll preach to someone who lives a more “open” relationship, just means that it’s not for me.
I will answer most questions, but if I feel that I’m asked something irrelevant, I’ll simply disregard it. I’ll do my best to respond when I can, but I do have a busy life, so don’t expect a reply right away.
As for my beliefs and whatnot, I can say that I’m very opinionated, and I can be stubborn. If I believe it down to the core, then Y/you’ll find that I cannot be persuaded to think differently. This is who I am, and if Y/you think I should change then don’t even bother with me. I have every right to believe what I want—this doesn’t make me right or wrong, it’s a matter of my own views on things. On that note, there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to live in this lifestyle. If Y/you think Y/your way is “correct”, and that there’s no other ways to live like this, then I suppose I can speak for many and say that Y/you’re an idiot.
Just for fun, here’s a brief outlook on MY beliefs and practises…
B/D- Bondage & Discipline
D/s- Dominance & submission
S/M- Sadism & Masochism
Top- Owner, Master/Mistress, Dom/me, Sir/Ma’am
Bottom- Slave, Sub (sometimes pet names- girl, slut, b*tch, etc.)
Bondage- a means of restraint—handcuffs, ropes, etc. done to the bottom by the top
Discipline- a means of keeping the bottom in line; making sure she/he understands her/his place (done by various “punishments” and/or corrections
Punishment- pretty obvious, though different than discipline
D/s- one partner having control over the other partner (though there can be numerous partners on both levels)
Sadism- someone enjoying causing pain to another—a sadist
Masochism- someone enjoying receiving pain from another—a masochist
A top and bottom have an understanding; The top will teach the bottom and help them grow, protect them, and discipline them when necessary. The bottom will do all they can to please their Owner, not because they want to, but because they need to. What I mean by need is that the bottom, such as myself, doesn’t feel complete. They are displeased with life unless they are pleasing someone else. A bottom will strive for perfection, and is unhappy unless their Owner is happy. On top of this, it is the top’s job to make sure the bottom is safe, and their best interests must be kept in mind. For example: If I have received a punishment, it’s not because my Owner wants to hurt me, nor would/did He enjoy it; I needed correction. In order for me to find release, forgive myself, and be forgiven for my mistake, I needed to be hurt/broken (not in the literal sense of breaking bones or something irrational like that). Once it was over, both parties can forgive.
Punishment and discipline are very different. Punishment is obviously for something done wrong, whereas discipline is to keep the bottom in their place. On that note, is it trusted that the top will never set up the bottom for failure. That would be counterproductive. Limits and boundaries should be discussed between both parties before any relationship set off.
Some are strict on protocol and specific responses, where others aren’t. I don’t mind either way. To me, it’s a sign of respect. Answering “yes/no Master/Mistress (etc.)” is another way to assert who is the top and who is the bottom. Obviously this would be discussed early on, and it is completely based on what the top desires. This goes the same for addressing a bottom—a top may choose to address the bottom as “slut”, “bitch”, “girl”, etc. I’ve gotten used to hearing such terms, so they’re no longer offensive to me. If I were called a slut previous to falling into this life, then I probably would have gone ballistic. I’ve also gotten accustomed to punctuating my words a certain way when addressing others, such as saying “How are You?” when speaking to a top, rather than “How are you?”. This is purely habit, so don’t get all excited—I’m simply being respectful.
There are other kinds of expectations that I’ve experienced with others, such as temperament/strictness. Some have required that permission must be granted for everything, and some don’t care at all. For example: I’ve known some who require that their bottom must give their top complete control of their life—telling them what they can\can’t wear, who they can/can’t associate with, etc. Others aren’t so involved. Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s whatever both partners agree on, and it’s expected that social norms be considered (It wouldn’t be right to tell a bottom to walk around the house naked if they live with their parents…).
As for the fun stuff… there are a vast amount of “toys”!! I can happily say I’ve tried my share of them, and I enjoyed every one. Things like whips or floggers for discipline or punishment, and handcuffs or ropes for bondage. I’ve also had the satisfaction of wearing a collar. For those unaware of the purpose of the collar, it’s for both play and recognition of the relationship. When it’s for play, it’s used at that time, and is typically removed after, but if it’s used for signifying the relationship, it’ll probably stay on longer (unless there are more than one; different ones for different uses). I love collars. I think they’re attractive; visually appealing. I believe that the bottom must earn the right to be collared, just as they must earn everything else. If the top decides to collar the bottom, they (top) are the ones who decide when/where it will/can be worn.
On top of everything else, I’ve also experienced and performed “body positions”. Some common ones (thought this may be a Gorean thing, I’m not sure) were facing a bed/table/desk with my Owner behind me. I had to stand with my hands on the surface, legs apart, facing forward and standing tall. There’s also when I was on my knees facing my Owner. I would be kneeling, knees apart, leaning back on my ankles, with my hands either palms facing up placed on my thighs, or behind my back, crossed. My eyes would typically be down, but sometimes I would be permitted to look. Overall, the purpose is to present oneself, and I found it quite affective.
Overall, I enjoy this life greatly, and I don’t know where’d I’d be without it.
Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
Oh, just for the record… I will not be posting pictures of myself. Due to experiences with my other accounts, I’ve found that most view profiles based on the attractiveness of the person. I’m more than just a pretty face. Get to know me for who I am, not what I look like. On another note, don’t give me Y/your email. I don’t want it—there’s a reason for the little mail button, USE IT.
