one of things that makes the BDSM different from the mainstream is the fact that those who are involved in BDSM consciously made a decision to pursue this path.  Few are raised in this lifestyle.  Instead, the average person follows the path of "normalcy" until he or she realizes it is not something that works.  It is only after one experiences an emptiness in the traditional model that he or she begins to seek something different. 

This might seem like an obvious statement but it is worth repeating:  It is your life.  Most accept this idea at an intellectual level yet operate from a completely different perspective when we witness their actions.  The conclusion I draw is that the majority of the population is enslaved by others.  This is true whether we look at the work environment where people are toiling away at jobs they hate.  We also notice this when one is consumed by his or her children and continually running around to appease them.  Another way this manifests is in the way people structure their relationships.  The overriding concept is what is considered normal with those who fall outside those bounds being ostracized.  Of course,  around the world, we see the effect religion has on different cultural norms and the influence over people's lives.

Embracing that your life is your own to do with as you see fit is a difficult concept.  At the core of this idea is responsibility.  If your life is your own, then you are the one who is responsible for choosing the direction in which you travel.  Naturally, when we look around society we see that responsibility is something most avoid.  The "blame" game is the common practice.  As opposed to standing up and claiming what is ours, most prefer to push the blame for their troubles on others.  It is far easier to attack one's parents for the results one got in life.  This is the "if they only ________" syndrome.  Adopting this approach allows one to shun the onus of the consequences he or she created.