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alifechoice
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seeksblkdom
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they call me Sin and I am seeking an intelligent, open-minded, obedient, affectionate, willing, and unique submissive i don't want a clone or a mindless drone i want you to be you with all your wonderful flaws i need a partner in crime to get the jokes that use big words i need accomplice in life sex and great but i need a poet of the soul .
I am a performing artist, music is my life if you can understand the Power of chaos put to order, if you can look at a campfire and see the beauty but understand the potential of destruction and the hope of life with in the flames. Then you are what I am looking for
its hard to talk about my self in a little box so ill do it the best way i can
About me:
there's a thin line between genius and insanity,so much pain inside of me, i try my hardest not to stray, but path twist and turns an i lose my way, i scream into a mic and break the silence,music mixed with poetry like sex mixed with violence. so many people think they know the real me, there blinded to the fact i still have yet to find me, in a world so sick and sadistic, i was looking for love but seem to just miss it. all i have is a pen and a pad, i write out my nightmares and dreams no matter how sad. i bleed on a page full of tears and ink stains. but its the only way clear my brain. i take it all and put in my music so hopefully others can use it. so for those of you that asked YOU are the reason i do this the reason i put my self through this I am a ex 82nd airborne paratrooper,stripper,Dj,and much more, i have been a son a brother never a father,music is my life, my heart beats in in 4/4 my veins bleed a harmony what more can i say "about me" just when you think I am gone i jump right back with some sick shit on a new track,starting a mosh pit and given the mainstream a fat limp, i don't to hip hop , our rap, i don't do that emo crap i make music to wake the dead, i make music to split your head i infect your mental state like a plague, when the music stops so does your heart, then i vanish in the dark this is audio chaos and its my art, until we meet again just remember you have been blessed by the mark of sin
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http://youtu.be/t0eQL5R3bw4 |
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time after time I truly wonder if i have lost my mind
in a world full of fake smiles hiding condescending remarks
and where lieing to ones self has become a graceful art
i ponder if maybe these people hate themselves
for conforming and putting there dreams on a self
i exist in a country paved in broken premise's
and built on the backs of the poor and ignorant
who ask not what there country can do for them
i was born in a state not of mind or of hope but of purpose
they needed me to serve to fight and to die
to help push home there goal there greatest lie
i don't know why from day one i was breed to do one task
and like those of around me i never thought to ask
i and now in side my head i ponder the meaning of it all
and pour these thoughts on to a page the ink pouring out
like the blood across the sand that was shed my these hands
so i bleed between these lines and hide my shame with in a rhyme
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Mindless ramblings of a Mad man V.4
United states of apathy
I have a theory In the darkest depths of the human mind we all have a beast lurking , that we all feel that pull of ?who will know? or ?its not my problem?. We see the homeless , bad parents, abandon children the news and media feeds us these images of starving people in 3rd world nations and pulls at our heart strings when the same thing is going place here in the United states of internal apathy. We care when its ?over there? we send millions in aid to ?them? and sink our selves into debt to forgein powers. But what about ?over Here? what about ?us? so I thought today what if just for a second we did the selfish thing what if we gave in to our beast as a nation and took care of our own what if we looked at these 3rd world nations and said ? Its not our problem? Would we be the devils in this game or would it make us better as a nation. I don?t know.
I set listening to ?people? arguing over foreign police one stating ? we need to send more aid to **** the other ranting that ?we need to go to war with **** and get that oil? for 2 hours the went at it and I realized not once did they say anything about helping people here. Is this the beast we hold in our hearts that makes us blind to things in front of us or is it just Apathy. People complain about violence on TV and movies they complain that Harry Potter is evil, there?s movements in the thousands against gay marriage and gay adoption, I wonder if we directed all the energy thrown at these small things in to things like homelessness or job creation maybe even education , maybe we would still have the space program or have reached the moon or colonized the stars hell maybe even we wouldn?t be so far behind these 3rd world country?s yes I mean behind , during my time in the army I watched people looking out for each other, like neighbors should which is a rare sight here at ?home?.
Now this is not a rant against the good old USA or for gay rights or anything like that, I am a simple man looking at the world and realizing somethings very wrong. Iam not christian by far but I do believe there was once a Eden and we have fallen so far from it. I cant be the only one that feels this way.
Sin. |
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is any of this real
i would really like to know
is this truely what a feel
will this feeling ever grow
am i really who i was
or have i begain to evole
it seems iam a simple problem
that no one can solve
in the quest to find myself
ive seem to gotten lost
i tryed to sale my soul
but the devil couldnt pay the cost
and now it seems my freind
that indeed this is were it ends
i found my self in you
cuase my heart never seems to break
it only twists and bends
i guess will see just how much it can take |
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once again i seem to find
some where along this walk called life
that i have lost my mind
some where under the chaos and strife
i know its here somewhere
burried under what i should have done
or maybe its over there
under what i could have said
i checked the box of regrets
and that pile of ex girlfreinds
seems to have wondered off like a pet
i search my room to no end
maybe if i retrace my steps
mother said i had it when i left
teacher said i had most of it last she knew
the Drill Sergent said he took a part of it
but i signed off on that to
so it seem bit my bit over time
i have lost it, so if you see it please
send me peice of mind |
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scar me with your loveless hands
consume me with your shameless want
dig your claws into my flesh
now i know you're having fun
you should have known that i'd bite back
did you think that i forgot?
i don't know how you call that love
i don't think that i can stop
i'm pretty much fucked
your taste, your smell, your love
you had to rub it in my face
twist all that i said
exploit my weaknesses
but now you'll have to pay |
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I have a addiction with out a drug
a affliction with out a cause
can you be my symptom my hallucinogen
staring at a map trying to get lost
running in the sun praying for the rain
so damn hard to step outside the mundane
i cant feel the guilt through the pain
..
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i must say iam sorry to everyone i lost contact with
do to my working 4 jobs i have found time to sleep and sometimes eat the madness is almost over
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lol i get this alot "your not the average black guy" and it made me think for about 2 hours i set on my porch and a came to a realization
FUCK AVERAGE!
| 1. | a quantity, rating, or the like that represents or approximates an arithmetic mean: Her golf average is in the 90s. My average in science has gone from B to C this semester. | | 2. | a typical amount, rate, degree, etc.; norm. |
By defention i defie the meaning
i try every day to keep dreaming
from my music to my dress
i have no one to impress
what ever you think of me
trust me i think less...(work in progress) |
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Home is safe? Or so they say
I guess it must be a boring place
Trapped behind this looking glass of mine
There’s face looking back but it’s not mine
I am not like him, I can’t go home
I wish for a cloud to block out the sunshine
Some people like there lives defined,
I am not like them, I can’t go home
I would much rather blur that line
You seem to have the answers
To the questions I left to find
I am not like you, I can’t go home
Ill find them all in my own time
So you go your way ill go mine
So what if I get lost,
Ill find my way no matter the cost
If I don’t make it. Ill fail on my own
Not matter what I can’t go home
With these chains I bind
Something with in her that I can never find
Ill take it and her for my own
Ill keeps her safe mind, body and soul
She’s like me…
We just can’t go home |
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Dj Sin at Columbus Only Swinger's Club
ClubPrinceton.com
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i find it so funny when i get this response
" i am not racist or anything but i am not Looking/into black guys"
or
"my family wouldn't approve, there not racist or anything its just how we were raised"
ok quick review
Racist,Racism -noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that ones own races is superior.
2. a policy, system or belief that removes a person from a postion or status do to there race.
3. haterd or intolerance of another do to there race
don't get me wrong here i am not say every woman that doesn't like me is a racist . no not by far i am saying the few that give that response above maybe need to rethink themselves a bit.
not a sermon just a thought
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will the last show went great rocked the crowd ans i didnt lose my shirt this time ty to every one from CM that showed up , hope to see ya next time
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been in the studio working on the new album
sorry if i havent been around
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every were i look , every thing i see there air that i breath, it
seems your a part of me, though we've never met i see you in the
bottom of every bottle, the spring in every step, in the last bit of
hope that i have left. and thats what gets me
so i wait with open arms and open wounds i wait for you just to remmber who i am,
I d like to share the good times and the bad, its hard to
understand--Laughing in the pouring rain or the art to crying just to
stay sane, though we've never even met i still know your name, my world
melts in those Baby blue eyes all the same, your smiles like the final
scene on the play of my life, id close the curtians if your were my
wife, i know its strange but so is life, and thats what get me
so i wait with open arms and open wounds i wait for you just to remmber who i am,
I see your tears fall down and i envy the ground, ever now and
then you walk right by, and i see that smile from the corner of my
eye,You arent perfect and you wear it well, your not a angel you've
punched your ticket to hell, and thats what gets me
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Broken like a child's toy I lay in the rumble of life less joy Body wrapped in true pain Holding on to reality with nothing to gain Searching for the answers to the same old mistakes Trapped in a cycle of self hate Breathing self loathing in every breath I find my self just living waiting on death My minds warped and so far gone Feeling locked in an old country song I got nothing to lose Rain pours down upon my head The sun doesn't shine on me for I am already long dead Every day I wake up wonder if this is it A life of 9 to 5 and monotony NO DAMNIT there's got to be more for me I make this music some say it's angry But true anger is all I have left in me I used to wear my heart on my sleeve but it got put in a noose These are memory's lost and locked a way Buried deep in my youth Truth be told I know i am a asshole but you would be to I got nothing to lose If you wore my shoes and this shit happen to you Suicides not an option not as a product of a failed abortion And resurrection by adoption. I say I make this music so others can us it But in fact it's a drug and I love to abuse it Call me what you want fuckers but if you please prove it My honors all I have and ill protect it with my last breath Nothing more dangerous then a man with nothing to lose
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iam i blind
have
i been blind to the truth that my moma told me in my youth she said
chase no matter what chase your dreams but beware of others sceems
thell hate you and hold you down but keep your head up and dont show a
frown cry when your alone never let them in never let them win, you are
your own keeper, let them close there eyes my son let them ignore the
sleeper,for when you awake youll darken there shadows,and arise from
behind have i been blind what my father told me sittingout late at night,
he told me no went pick your fights one punchis all it takes to when a
battle but endurance will when the war, so let them swing and runt them
selves down ,then over run them like a flood,remmeber noone can hold
you back, let them take the offense then crush them with a surprise
attack have i been bind to what i told myself, iam strong iam the storm and
nothing shall move me from my path, nothing and no one can survie my
aftermath, iam a act of the goddess iam her will,i well do what i must
to live evenif i have to go thorugh the fire, i may get burn but i shal
stand in the blaze all the stronger, now if i can hold on for just a
bit longer
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The face paint hides the pain the hate the rage It covers my hopes, exposes my dreams I paint my face because it not me on stage It's my inner demon that you hear scream released from its cage I am not hiding who I am, I am just showing you what I am Blue for the hope for tomorrow Black for the pains of the past You asked "why paint your face" Because what's behind the paint is not important It's what I let out that I want you to taste You label me a freak, a weirdo Good that's what I hide inside of me And since you see it, that's what my face is painted for No delusions of greatness, no misconceptions of fame I am a freak a weirdo, but this paint turns me into a monster alltough be it a bit insane, For you to see, and frankly I don't give a fuck what you label me
Sinasta
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