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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Dominant, 69,  Seattle, Washington
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This is a new updated profile, my old name was ADomme4you. If you contacteed me there then you can say hi here now.

I am a strong-willed opinionated woman. I am a liberal feminist, and you need to be as well. This is not negotiable.

I like a man who can discuss politics, economic policy and global warming and I expect a knowledgeable lively discussion. I have been in the lifestyle long enough to know that I enjoy most everything kinky.

For me, being dominant is not about being harsh or abusive. Rather, it is about understanding the pleasure a submissive man derives from giving up control. And I am well aware that just because you might be interested in submitting in the bedroom, it does not make you submissive in any other sphere of your life. I am passionate, sensuous, patient and kind.

Who I am and who I am not.

I am the girl next door.

I am the woman walking down the street lost in daydreams.

I love laughter and red roses.

I am straight.

I adore male submissives.

I am 69 with a lifetime of experience in FLR.

I am presently single.

I live in Washington, USA.

I am not a porn Mistress and do not cater to fantasies unless they vibe with my own.

I am not going to dress in leather and lace 24/7. (actually very rarely)

I am barefoot more than I wear heels.

I am not here for your entertainment; I am here for mine.

I believe in love, lust, and romance.

I only enjoy cis male submissives and have zero use for the sissy male or “gurls” beyond friendship. Sorry gurls, I just love men.

I don’t smoke (you cannot smoke) and drink rarely, but I don’t mind if you drink some. I am a BBW, and have a great lifestyle.

Here is a test, (Don’t worry there is no wrong answer….)

If I stuck a dildo in your ass what position would you rather be in

A. doggie style

B. face down on your stomach

C. flat on your back

D. bent over the side of a chair or

E. something like picking up soap in the shower?

I know my perfect sub guy is out there, I hope to hear from you soon……












 Dominant Female



 Willing to Relocate

 5' 5"






Actively Seeking:

Sub / Slave Male

 Lives For:

 Liberal Politics (Expert)

 Female Led Relationships (Expert)

 Female Sovereignty (Expert)

 Lifestyle BDSM (Expert)


 Art Galleries


 Coffee Shops

 Fine Dining





 You massaging me for hours (Expert)

 You being my domestic servant

 You kissing and worshiping my feet

 You doing all of the housework

 You at the end of my leash

 Mental Bondage

 Training you to be completely
obedient to me and only me

 Total control of your orgasms (Expert)

 You never being allowed to have pleasurable orgasms

 Sensation Play

 Vibrators (Expert)

 Cooking (Expert)


 Intellectual Discourse


 Amusement Parks

 Antique Shows

 Musical Theater


 Violating your rear

 You begging

 Erotic touch


 Placing you in masks

 Wax Play (Expert)


 Erotic Hypnosis



 Hard Limits:

 Conservative Politics

 Cuck Options


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Journal Entries:
9/3/2022 10:28:55 AM

Ending a D/s relationship 

Bullshit. It is not always the sub who is left feeling lonely, and ending things is the sub’s choice every bit as often as it is the Domme’s choice. And the pain of the loss is the same. Let’s knock off the toxic cliche that the Domme walks off whistling a jaunty tune with nary a look back and the sub is left a bawling mess curled up in a fetal ball on the bathroom floor. Dommes bleed the same blood as subs.

Of course there are endless numbers of subs that have been hurt by Dommes, good and bad ones alike. People are hurt when relationships end, any kind of relationship…but when a Domme is hurt by the end of a relationship, she/he has the added burden of knowing THEY were supposed to be the one in control, the one who was supposed to know what they were doing and make things better….and they failed.

8/30/2022 6:38:42 PM

 One of the hardest things to learn as a Domme type because it goes against a lot of societal programing, is extracting obedience when there is resistance and things are going wrong.

These rules from a military prospective should be kept in mind to help us.

-You can’t expect obedience because someone owes you.
-You can’t expect obedience because you have won a popularity contest.
-You can’t expect obedience because it makes sense to them.
-You can’t request obedience.
-You can’t bargain for obedience.

It is something you must command.

8/25/2022 8:52:55 PM

Thought for the day


"Everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, then it's not the end."

The best exotic marigold hotel. 

8/15/2022 6:27:51 PM

I want to be are my hard limits...






Swinger type events. I am into the power exchange not group sex



Serious Public Humiliation/ Sarcasm/ Degradation/ and/or blackmail




Dont ever call me mom or mommy

Age Play

Animal Play, no pony or puppy role play either ( can be done at very infrequent times but not for all the time)

Sissy play (some femme is ok)

Needle Play

Tattoos /brands, unless you are collared I won’t tattoo you ... and even then I probably won't. 

Blood Play

Illegal Drugs and many legal ones



Ass to mouth. I will not take things from your ass and expect you to put them in your mouth

Death play



Paranormal things


Poppers or drugs

8/14/2022 9:12:38 AM

Many folks talk about the importance of watching for red flags when searching for a Domme. In truth there are red flags a Domme must watch out for when interacting with a sub. See some below:

-Claims they have no limits

-Pressures the Dominant into playing in ways that violate their personal limits.

-Shows no care or concern for the dominants wants/needs

-Insists on playing with no safe word

-Only talking to the Dominant when they are horny

-Making threats of doing something drastic if the Dominant leaves or does not talk to them

-Calling the dominant names or honorifics without their consent 

-Insists on playing with you when they barely know anything about you

-Demanding money or gifts.

If you think of other red flags to add, please let me know. 

8/1/2022 11:49:13 PM

The below is a great place to start..


1. The male must always practice respect, whether in private or public. Stand when she enters the room. Sit (or kneel) as soon as She is seated.

2. Be totally attentive: open doors, offer her your coat, she sits first, begins to eat first, and always ask permission to leave her presence.

3. The male should never speak unless spoken to, or unless anticipating the needs of his Mistress.

4. The submissive will never sit with legs spread or slouch in a way typical of untrained males. Good posture and decorum is a sign of respect.

5. The male will never stare at a woman without her permission. Unless the woman seeks eye-contact, the submissive will keep his eyes lowered at all times.

6. When walking with his Mistress, or any woman, the submissive will keep his gait in step with hers, which usually means taking smaller steps. The male should always be at least 1-2 steps behind, but not too far because he must open all doors.

7. The submissive must always be pleasant, never argue and never pout.

8. The male surrenders control of how he spends his time, how he dresses, what he eats, where he sleeps, the friends or acquaintances he is allowed to keep.

9. The submissive must remember that his orgasm does not belong to him but to his Mistress. It is Hers to use or deny... however she sees fit.

10. The submissive may never touch his own genitals without the permission of his Mistress. When washing, he must use a wash cloth or brush, never his hands.

11. The submissive should never buy his own clothing without the guidance of his Mistress. He should buy what pleases her, not what he likes.

12. When urinating, the submissive will always sit on the toilet... no exceptions.

13. The submissive must submit to eating only “submissive food” selected by his Mistress whenever she requires it.

14. When a meal is over the submissive must be quick to clear the table and wash the dishes.

15. The submissive must always give his Mistress the first choice of everything — She picks the channel on TV to watch, the restaurant to go to, the movie to see, the friends to entertain, etc.

16. The submissive will perform all household chores for his Mistress , to include(but not limited to): sweep and vacuum all floors and carpets mop all floors dust and polish all furniture make the beds every day wash and fold all clothing linen scrub bathrooms clean kitchen Cook meals wash dishes set the table shop for groceries take out trash and sort recycled items run all errands. Keep the lawn and grounds in great shape. Fix broken things around the house. Keep things maintained ie change the furnace filter every 3 months. Wash all cars inside and out. 

7/24/2022 9:46:55 AM

To be a Domme


This ideology (that you have to peg someone to dominate them) is everything that is wrong with femdom porn.


I don’t need to penetrate anything other than your mind to dominate you.


Dominance is not about penetration.


Exchanging power is not about penetration.


I assert my dominance by being dominant.


I can lay back, have you penetrate me, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.


I can suck your cock, have your cock penetrate my mouth, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.


I can go on all fours, have your cock penetrate my ass, and I am still in control simply because I am dominant.


No act is inherently dominant or submissive.  Most especially penetration.


BDSM and D/s is not about the things that you can do - it is how you love.

7/22/2022 7:44:23 PM

Many folks have a difficult time trying to figure out if they are submissive and so I thought some definitions maybe helpful. 

Submissive definition 

A submissive:


“one who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift” (Urban Dictionary);


“willing to obey someone else” (Merriam Webster).



7/20/2022 8:09:01 AM

Some things to think about written by Ms Rika (she writes books about femdom and the power dynamics). I don't always agree with her 100% but I enjoy her thought provoking article.

Rika thoughts



SOOO many conflated, fantasy-driven thoughts in one place!

  • FLR does not mean femdom. They are different things. They MAY coincide...often times they do...but they do not necessarily have to go together. If you mean Femdom, say Femdom.
  • Marriage is an institution that is legal, often religious, and personal - and completely independent of power dynamics. You can layer a power dynamic on ANY type of relationship, "Spouse" is just one of them. The reason to marry someone is the same whether there is a power dynamic or not and it's not a power dynamic decision. Therefore, the reasons a marriage with a power dynamic dissolves are the same as the reasons one without a power dynamic dissolves.
  • Femdom (and FLR) does not equate to cuckolding. Cuckolding relates to cuckolding. You can be a cuckold and NOT be a Femdom relationship (or an FLR, for that matter). Sometimes cuckolding is done within a relationship - sometimes it's not. Often the man doesn't know (technically, the man doesn't know).
  • While it is possible that some power dynamics limit sexual interaction between the couple, not all do - and power dynamics certainly DO NOT imply a reduction in sexual activity.
  • Sexless marriages are due to people whose libidos drift - or who no longer are interested in their spouse sexually. It has nothing to do with power dynamics

7/18/2022 10:44:06 PM

Thought for today....

A mediocre Dominant tells,

 a good Dominant teaches, 

a excellent Dominant explains ... 

but a true Dominant Inspires.

7/17/2022 12:53:35 PM

What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me). 

I want flowers.

I want to whip you.

I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes.

I want respect and awe and understanding and love.

I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs.

I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait.

I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly.

I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses.

I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me.

I want affection and cuddling.

I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk.

I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart.

I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you.

I want humor and debate and dialog.

I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back.

I want to see you crawl – just for me.

I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come.

I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you.

I want....


7/16/2022 3:05:18 PM

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to.



Thoughts on submission....

Submission is not about being used,

submission is about being of use.

Submission is not thinking less of yourself,

Submission is thinking of yourself less.

Submission is not about what is done to you

Submission is what you can do for her.


7/15/2022 5:31:39 PM

At Her feet…

…a place to kneel in devotion

…a place to listen attentively

…a place to adore Her mind

…a place to worship Her body

…a place to understand a lesson

…a place to feel home

…a place for so much more…

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