Quotes from Employee Performance Evaluations

�Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig�.

�His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity�.

�This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won�t be�.

�Works well when under constant supervision when cornered like a rat in a trap�.

�When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet�.

�He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle�

�This young lady has delusions of adequacy�.

�He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them�.

�Somewhere a village is being deprived of an idiot�.

�This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better�.

�Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together�.

�A gross ignoramus � 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus�.

�He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless�.

�He doesn�t have ulcers, but he�s a carrier�.

�I would like to go hunting with him sometime�.

�He�s been working with glue too much�.

�He would argue with a signpost�.

�He has a knack for making strangers immediately�.

�He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room�.

�When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell�.

�If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he�s the other one�.

�A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on�.

�A prime candidate for natural de-selection�.

�Donated his brain to science before he was done using it�.

�Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn�t coming�.

�Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it�.

�If he were any more stupid, he�d have to be watered twice a week�

�If you give him a penny for this thoughts, you�d get change�.

�If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean�.

�It�s hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm�.

�One neuron short of a synapse�.

�Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled�.

�Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes�

�The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead�.