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| Relationships are not pre-defined, orchestrated or choreographed. Rules are established through experience, intuition, insight, exploration and observation.
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There are no lies so vile, so cruel, so heartless, so vicious, as those you tell yourself. |
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The good old Rule
Sufficeth them, the simple plan,
That they should take, who have the power,
And they should keep, who can.
wordsworth |
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The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The narcissist does not cater at all to her/his own needs. Contrary to her/his reputation, the narcissist does not "love" herself/himself in any true sense of this loaded word.
She/he feeds off other people, who hurl back at her/him an image that she/he projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest – in a word, to assure her/him that she/he exists.
Otherwise,others have no right to tax her/his time, energy, or emotions – so she/he feels.
To borrow Freud’s trilateral model, the narcissist's Ego is weak, disorganized and lacks clear boundaries. Many of the Ego functions are projected. The Superego is sadistic and punishing. The Id is unrestrained.
Primary Objects in the narcissist's childhood were badly idealized and internalized.
Her/his object relations are distraught and destroyed.
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