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Gentle but firm Dom from Winnipeg Canada seeking a fellow-explorer to join Him on His journey.
Appreciates the beauty that is woman in all its forms...but admits to having a thing for tall women. Likes a well developed sense of humour (if you enjoy British humour, you'll get along fine) and is looking for another adventurer who is creative and articulate.
Seeks a deep (dare we say spiritual) connection that will stand up to the challenges of pursuing a D/s lifestyle in a Vanilla world. The central truth is that once the mental connection is made, all the rest falls into place.
Wants a partner who is self-assured...a strong woman with opinions, wants and needs who isn't afraid to express them...but who is willing to leave them in her Dom's hands and trust Him to take care of her. A woman whose submission is a state of nature - but also an act of will.
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Pet Peeves - Part the Second - Isn't there enough intolerance against the Lifestyle community without more within it?
Maybe I just need to grow a thicker skin here. Maybe intolerance and bigotry is found everywhere. But jeez. You'd think that in a community as badly misunderstood as this, other intolerance could be laid aside.
Case in point:
I have encountered a local woman here with whom I seem to make some connection. Clearly that's a good thing. So we correspond and begin to exchange information about past experience. I reveal that I had a Ds relationship I broke off some time ago.
"Why did you break it off?"
"I was entering an episode of clinical depression which has since been treated and I'm now stable and off meds with my doc's approval"
The reaction?
"Sorry, it's just my hangup, but I'll never be with someone who's had mental health issues."
So much for honesty being the best policy.
Given that more than half the population is likely to suffer from a mood disorder or other mental illness sometime in life, my correspondent's chances aren't really good to find a partner who meets her criteria. Or maybe she will - assuming he's being honest.
That begs the question:
Which is more dangerous or more reason for concern:
A person who has gone through mental illness, received treatment, has come through the ordeal well and is honest about the experience, or;
A person who is going through mental illness, has not received treatment and is not well - but in denial and not about to admit there's a problem?
Back to the subject of intolerance.
If I had gone through a physical trauma - a serious disease, a car wreck or something similar - and had survived, gone through treatment and therapy and was now well and looking to pursue a relationship...
...and someone had made a similar remark...
...wouldn't most think that person an intolerant, unfeeling fool?
Ahh...the joys of being a kinky single in the first decade of the twenty-first century.
Laterz!
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Pet peeves...Part The First: "Magic" Submissives.
Now...don't take this post the wrong way, the fact of the matter is there are likely a lot of 'magic' Dom(mes) too.
My definition...the person who has developed the vanishing act to an artform. I'm a realist...I may not, in fact, be God's gift to the submissive world. From time to time, we all meet someone here or in another online forum...Hell...in rl, too...and the chemistry just isn't there. Or maybe there's some chemistry there but then we run into someone else and the fireworks go off and we know that there's more potential, more energy, more synchronicity with person two than with person one.
...Which presents a person...Dominant or submissive...with a choice. At issue...what to do about the first person they met now that there's an evidently better fit with person two?
Enter...the magic act...and the highlight of the night...the vanishing trick. You know what I mean...the obvious disappearance of a person when in past you've chatted or maybe even talked on the phone daily or more than once a day. My experience leads me to give a person the benefit of the doubt. There are illnesses, accidents...computer issues and ISP problems...that can keep someone away from an online community for a period of time. That's fair ball. And sometimes public access computers have blocks on sites like CM, so that isn't an option, either.
My comments, therefore, are not blanket ones applicable to all situations. But here's the 'pisses me RIGHT off' situation that's led me to write this.
I encounter a sub - by her statement, a lifetime submissive - and we begin a productive series of chats. We then move to phone exchanges, and, in time, start talking about a rl meeting.
Then abracadabra, alakazam - POOF - she vanishes.
I fire off an email or two here...keep looking for her in chat...all to no avail. I have her number, but am cautious about using it...I've no desire to be labelled a stalker.
Then lo and behold...just a few weeks since last contact, she appears back here. Surprise, surprise...she is telling the whole world about her Master and how the falling out between them is all patched up. In this case, the only Master I knew of in her life is the one who released her about a year ago.
Maybe I'm off base here...correct me if you think otherwise...but I feel a bit pissed about this. Would common courtesy if nothing else, not dictate that such a change should be communicated to a serious suitor privately and directly? Or is it right that I should learn of the change 'on the front page of the paper' as it were.
Well...glad to get that off my chest. I feel much better now.
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There are some truly amazing people on this site...and some world class idiots, too. What else is new? We're part of the larger population...and unfortunately don't get to choose our neighbors.
Some of what I find most amazing is the way so many subs, especially new ones, are ridiculed for not being sub enough. They dare to ask questions, dare to stand up to obvious bullshit and dare to have their own personalities.
I guess it says a lot about some of the Dom(me)s here that they have to endure that. How many beautifully submissive souls have been turned away from this lifestyle because they encountered a wannabe dominant with self-esteem issues who completely wierded them out (or maybe they encountered a 'no limits' sub...an equally frightening creature).
To new submissives reading this...there are many dominants and submissives who will happily answer your questions and help you work through doubts or concerns. They would love to help introduce you to a lifestyle of incredible possibilities. Give the 'good neighbors' a chance...but be aware there are a few 'bad' ones out there, too.
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