Met a woman that is good to me.  i feel akward and unsure of myself :)  i fantasize of kneeling at her feet and serving her, belonging to her, obeying her, pleasing her, and being used by her to satisfy her whims and desires :)  i don't know if she will, i am hesitant to speak much around her for fear that if i say something i am not learning what she wants and desires, and will miss learning to be what she desires :)

i guess in many ways i am nieve and a simpleton, much of the stuff on here is way beyond my comprehension, but the more simple stuff of control and obedience i so crave and desire from a good woman :) and so i fumble through my life and dream on :) Maybe this time i won't fumble too much and she will see i am putty in her hands and choose to own me and use me for her wishes :)

Someone started to train me tonight online :) i hope i am acceptable to her :)  She seemed confident in my potential, i'm still a little unsure of myself.  i think i learned something from her tonight though: i want to submit to a good woman so in pleasing her desires i can justify my pleasures as simply a side effect of her pleasures :)  Maybe it is a character flaw in me that i feel guilty getting pleasures, but i do know i sure do enjoy serving her to see her get pleasures :)

A kind Lady emailed me here on Collarme and advised me to go to munchies and mingles to meet other like minded individuals.  :) It is a great idea, i just need to get up the courage to go.

With my fear of admitting who i am i was lucky enough that another kind Lady recently emailed me as well.  She is from the same state as me.  In her profile she seems confident and sure of herself, and she said she is interested in training me :)  i like the idea :)  i'm still a little scared.  Ok, a whole lot scared, but eager and interested as well :)  i guess my biggest fear is being a disappointment to her.  i hope i am appreciative of her training and respond quickly to her quidance :)  i have no idea what she may have in mind or how she will mold me to be what she wants :)  i will do my best to keep an open and responsive mind to her training :)  She asked for my Yahoo IM, so i assume my training and communication with her will be online initially :), which is good.  She will be able to learn about me, decide how to control me, and determine how to develop me past my fears, shortcomings, and inexperience :)  i look forward to the experience :)

i'm a fool, i'm guessing it was a scam after all.  Yea i feel stupid.  She demanded money right off the bat.    Too good to be true.  But i guess it makes sense when i admitted i wasn't sure how to make the leap from fantasy to reality and she never even addressed that failure in me :)  Oh well, hoping wishing and wanting, but shy and not sure how to safely get past my insecurity of moving from fantasy to reality.  Maybe i'll never make it :)  Oh well life is full of dreams we never realize :), but i'll keep dreaming for now :)

The Goddess wrote to me again :)  i like her :)  Even though i have mentioned my past inability to make the leap from fantasy to reality, she still seems interested in me and willing to give me a chance.  i feel honored that she would consider me potential material :)  i am not quite sure how things will progress from here, but i like the idea that she does and she knows how she is going to get me where i need to be as well as develop me into something she enjoys :)  i like the thought of being something she enjoys using a playing with :)  Not sure what all that may include, but i like the idea of being useful to her.  The thought of her smiling and enjoying her use of me makes me happy.  To be useful and to see her happy would be the ultimate pleasure.

i finally got the curage and emailed her back (the Goddess who invited me to be her real time slave).  i wrote and rewrote her many times, but was always scared or unsure of myself to email her.  i finally got the courage and emailed her admitting the truth that i was scared and not sure i was ready for real time.  i admitted i probably wasn't what she was looking for because of my weakness moving into real time.  She responded back to me, i was shocked.  i am not sure what to think, actually i've stopped being able to think many times - i just sit there like a helpless mindless fool.  i finally responded back to her the second time and told here more about myself.  i am honored that she still gives me the time of day knowing i am limited in my courage.  my biggest fear is that i will not be able to make the leap she desires and i will only prove to be a disapointment to her...

Back here again :)  Too shy to venture into the realm of submitting to a good woman :) but too aroused by the thought to be able to stay away from looking and dreaming :)  Yes, a fool :) i am what i am and i guess that's what i'll always be :)  Maybe someday dreams do come true :)  Wishing, wanting, and fantasizing maybe dreams do come true, at least i would like to believe they do :)  So for now i will continue to dream of the wonderful woman who will someday fill my life up with her commanding, guiding, and controlling word :)