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Black Pervert: a documentary I'm in.     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J
Byrdie
Female Dominant, 48,  Seattle, Washington US

Link to this profile: https://www.collarspace.com/Byrdie

 

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Age: 38, Height: 5ft 5in (165 cm)
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 Byrdie

 Dominant Female

 Seattle 

 Washington

 5' 6"

 48

 African Descent

 07/14/08

 06/25/17

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Male

Friends Only

Black Pervert: a documentary I'm in.  
  
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpvsSZ19lHQ  
  
(My segment was recorded at the O'Kink Family Reunion in August 2014, the Sunday after the Black Beat Conference in Baltimore, Maryland.)




They're still interviewing!


 


If you want to be part of the project, contact the filmmakers through their website:


 


http://truestoriesproductions.com/frames_home.html


 




Short Form


 


I'm looking for submissive men within 7 years of my own age (41 - 55) who are Greater SeattlePuget Sound residentsopenly and honestly non-monogamous or poly-friendly, and are Center for Sex Positive Culture members.  




Long Form 


 


What I want in a general partner is a social type of geek: someone who attends conferences, enjoys one on one or group conversations, and who strikes a healthy balance between introversion and extroversion no matter what their Meyer-Briggs test results are. What I want is someone with whom I can geek out about my interests and perhaps develop some new ones. What I want is someone who is polyamorous, either in that they recognize that they naturally form multiple intimate relationships with people, or simply that they enjoy having a partner who does so. What I want is someone with manners who can and will adjust them for the situation, and who can strike a balance between chivalry and feminism. What I want it someone who recognizes that they have mental or emotional issues, and who proactively addresses them through lifestyle changes and professional assistance.


What I want is someone who reads both for pleasure and for knowledge. What I want is someone who will whisk me away on either all-day road trips, or just a 100-meter mosey around a local but otherwise unexplored park, or a movie, or exploring a neighborhood just because it’s there and one of us hasn’t yet, or going on some cheesy local tour because we might learn something new about the city or see it from a different point of view. What I want is someone who is wiling to mindwalk, to have long, winding discussions about whatever comes to mind. What I want is someone who does not shy away from negotiation or compromise, someone who can approach it as calmly as possible, and someone who is interested in a mutually satisfactory conflict resolution. I want someone who is able to be flexible with their soft limits and up front about their hard limits - both inside and outside of play.


What I want is someone who into playing at the Center for Sex Positive Culture (the CSPC) until I initiate the occasional exception to that schedule. What I want is a fun, hard fuck that will do what I tell them when I tell them to do it and understand that I am the expert on my own body. What I want is someone who likes being bitten, punched, slapped, sat upon, queened, tickled, pissed in and upon, spontaneously and randomly groped, grappled, and otherwise treated as though I am entitled to do with their body as and when I please ... within pre-negotiated limits.


What I want is someone who likes biting, punching, tickling, groping, grappling, and other such activities as a service top, either applying stimulation as instructed or crafting scenes so that I can feel the way I want during and afterwards. What I want is someone who will respond to a summons for a booty call, movie, or company; come and whisk me away to the Center or wherever I want to play, and then drop me off back home feeing more pampered than when they picked me up. That pretty much sums it up for me play-wise.

Journal Entries:
5/2/2017 4:05:23 PM
I scared away another online suitor. I think I know what happened.
 
A stranger presents me with some unsolicited, bizarre scenario that he's been fantasizing about and wants agreement on. I view it as a fiction idea that someone is pitching, and engage in dialog that involves tweaking it - or, if you like, loudly marveling at the gaping logic holes - as people tend to do in online forums. 
 
This does not seem to be what is wanted, but pretending that these are hot ideas sounds boring and irritating. I engage in fantasy play with my partners, not with strangers. And those people who are my partners appreciate the thought I put into geeking out enough to turn a concept into an actionable plan.
 
With a random stranger online, stating "Well, this fantasy you've had for months or years isn't workable because X, Y, & Z; but if you settle you can have 2/3rds of it as a real-world application" is presumably just not as sexy as saying "And that is how I shall have you, worm.” Who knew?

3/24/2017 4:42:32 PM

Thoughts on anal sphincter relaxation

 

Early on, I discovered something interesting: one partner startled me in bed by suddenly play-acting and shaking me roughly while scolding me. I was so taken aback by the sudden action that my sphincter opened up and anal play happened very smoothly.  My understanding is that there's Fight, Flight, and Submit reactions in the body - either my sphincter opened in reparation for me to empty my bowels and run, or my body relaxed itself in preparation for violation with minimal trauma. I'm not sure of which, but it worked.

 


 

Oddly, the best book I found on anal experimentation is Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin, Phd. There's something about reading the book that actually will relax my outer sphincter.  Not something I can take to bed with a partner unless we're in a very peculiar scene, but just knowing that it could happen was intriguing.

 


 

For years I could not understand what people meant by "relax". I could bathe, lay around, read, get a massage, listen to gentle music, etc. and it wouldn't matter: my sphincter would still be locked shut.  During a discussion circle at a local sacred sexuality center, someone voiced some advice: 

"You know how when you're watching a very small human asleep in its cradle, and when it breathes it sort of stretches? It's like watching one of those 'plump when you cook 'em' hot dog commercials, right? If you breathe like that while relaxing, elongate your spine and stretch out, your part of the way there. The other part, and I know this sounds weird, is to picture yourself breathing through your asshole.  Seriously! Give it a try, and picture the air passing through your body."

 

We tried it.

 

"You can feel it, right?"

 

Some of us could, and I was one of them.  I've used this since, and it helps a lot.

 


 

I've never liked heating or cooling lubes on my vulva. They give me an unpleasant burning sensation. I don't want to fuck when I use them, I just want them off. However, one day I was playing around with a sample of Blossom Organics "Warm Sensation Moisturizing Lubricant" I'd gotten from favorite sex toy store, and it occurred to me to try it on my ass.  

 

This was an excellent idea. The warmth was gentle enough to be (supposedly) safe to use on mucus membranes, so I wasn't in agony. However, it was warm enough to help relax my outer sphincter. It was NOT a numbing lube, just a warming one.  YMMV, but it might worth investigating.

 


 

In my particular experience, after forcing or being forced to deal with anal pain, it takes a months of gentling to convince my sphincter muscles that it's safe and that I won't allow them to be harmed again. There's no rushing this, and I no longer stay in relationships where I feel the need to do so. 


1/1/2017 6:42:23 PM

A few years back I contacted a dominant woman about borrowing her submissive husband for an evening, if they both were agreeable and interested. They were. :) He and I met up at a local coffee house to confirm that we clicked, and we did. He and his dominant were former members of the CSPC, so he was fine with going there to play. Once safely enclosed in his car, we began to negotiate in ernest. I warned him that I as much as I love being gone down upon, I rarely orgasm from it. He let me know that he was perfectly happy to have intercourse with me, but he wouldn’t come from it; he tended to orgasm by masturbating while being facesat. It sounded good to me.

We talked about the specifics of facesitting. I hadn’t had the best luck with the activity in the past. It was either uncomfortably bony-feeling to sit on an angular face, especially one with a big nose; or my knees ached from trying to keep my weight off the face. He assured me that he’d played with women much larger than me and that he’d taken their weight on his face, and offered to give me some positioning pointers for the sake of my comfort.

Despite his previous membership to the Center, he’d never been to a just-sex party before and he was unsure of how it all worked. However, since neither of us were exhibitionists I reassured him that we’d be playing in the back rooms where voyeurs could only go if invited to watch a specific scene. His main kink is facesitting combined with - as he put it in his profile - “free booty cleanings for women age 40+ and 200lbs+”. ahem. I’d contacted his wife just as soon as I stopped giggling over that phrase.

As I stripped, I specifically posed so he could get a look at my ass. His eyes widened with appreciation. “Wow. I couldn’t tell by looking at you from the front.”

“Yeah, I suppose what little hips I have don’t cue people off. It’s more of an out-the-back shape than a side-to-side one.”

He started grasping my ass with his startlingly cold hands. I squeaked.

“It’s really nice.”

I tried not to snort as I said, “Thank you.” I think a giggle escaped, though. “Wanna see a trick?”

He grinned. “Are you gonna booty clap?”

“No, this is something I did for a few friends of mine once. Okay, feel me up again.”

He did, then let go. I then tensed up the muscles. “Now try again.”

“Huh. No. I mean, yeah - I can feel the muscles, but you still got some nice jiggle there.”

“Ah, well. Once I surprised a physical therapist with that one. I guess you’ll just have to settle for what I have now.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Poor me.”

Indeed, he really liked my ass - he was impressed with how muscular and soft it was all at the same time. He kept reaching over to feel it, which occasionally prompted more squeaks because his hands stayed cold.

As part of instruction we tried a position that involved him sitting on the floor (on a pillow covered by a pillow case, as he was naked) and me sitting upon his head while my legs were over the ledge of the bed. It was … okay, though it took a minute to get into a good position. After a bit more fussing over the instructional part, he noticed that I wasn’t particularly aroused. I admitted that I was more in student-geek mode than anything else. He suggested pleasuring me first so that I’d be aroused for the facesitting. He’d bragged about his prowess on the ride over, assuring me that he’d had no trouble getting women off and that I’d come just fine; and he was stunned to realize that I’d been right about the challenge. After a pleasant while he asked if he could slip a finger into my vagina and I agreed, then - to his surprise - asked him to add another. That’s when I started getting loud. I adore g-spot stimulation. It’s not the same as a clitoral orgasm, but I have no complaints on that score.

His face was covered with my juices and his back with sweat by the time we stopped to rest, and then agreed to try penetration. He’d warned me that he might bottom out, given that he had an 8 - 9 inch cock, so we negotiated what we’d do in that eventuality. He got one of the larger-size condoms I’d brought on, I got into what the Romans used to call the Lioness position. The Center provides average size condoms, but I was taking no chances and brought some larger ones. He told me that the one he selected fit him perfectly.

He slid in, and I was braced to yelp for lube. Thankfully wonderful foreplay and a pre-lubricated condom worked wonders and we were off. Have you ever seen Red Dwarf? To quote Cat:

"Put a Black 'n' Decker on it and I can go through walls, baby!"

Goddamn, that boy was energetic. Oh, my. There’s something to be said for virility combined with talent. Pardon me. I’m just going to go to my Happy Place for a moment. Mmmmm. Ah. Much better. Thank you. Back to the story.

He was shocked that he didn’t bottom out, especially as we were in the perfect position for it. As it turns out, my glutes are a sort of fleshy armor that help to protect my cervix. He was so unused to this result that the little sneak started trying to bang my cervix by fucking me even harder and deeper, and even grabbing my shoulders to press as far in as he could. Nope. EpicBooty to the rescue! Granted, I was still yowling from all the love my g-spot was getting, but there was no pain. (And *neener* to him for trying. hmph.)

Once done and disentangled, he pulled on his jeans and asked if people would mind if he walked out front to the bathrooms without a shirt on.

“Hon, you could walk out there naked and the worst that would happen is that people would check out your dick. You’re fine.”

Off he went while I curled up and reaffirmed my belief in Santa Claus, who’d arrived early this year.

When he came back and dropped trou, he suddenly got very, very cold. I got up in search of a blanket as he went fetal, and he got him covered. I curled up into the flat sheet and lay with him for a while. I kept offering to share body heat, but he wasn’t used to cuddling with people he barely knew. I thought that was a little odd given what all we’d already done and were planning to do, but he was responsive and his teeth weren’t audibly chattering, so I didn’t think he was in so much distress that I needed to force myself upon him. (And if he’d kept refusing by that point, I’d like to think that I would have found a Dungeon Monitor to help rather than traumatize him with unwanted touch while he was already in a bad way.) He warmed up and marveled that I had gotten up, bold as brass, and walked around the back room looking for a blanket while stark naked. Well, there was one other couple in the back room, and they were preoccupied happily with each other. Also, this was the Center. If I couldn’t walk around naked in from of people *there* I might as well just give up on any sort of public nudity. The Center is very welcoming and forgiving. Hell, they even used to run an an off-site clothing optional swim.

But I digress.

We decided to try me kneeling over him. I was nervous about it, but willing try. He asked if I was okay with him ejaculating on me. My usual rule is, “you splash me, you lick it up”. Hey, I’ll lick, kiss, and suck my juices from my partner’s mouth if they’ll let me. Like many men I’ve been with, he was disturbed by the idea, but let me know that he generally didn’t splash more than few drops that far. I figured that since I hadn’t negotiated this possibility with his dominant, that I’d allow him some slack this time.

I discovered that his willingness to have my entire weight resting on his face meant that a great deal of strain was taken off of my knees. It took a while to get the ideal positioning right, and he eventually asked me to spread my ass cheeks to allow him better access. Once I did that, his tongue went straight up my ass and started researching quite thoroughly. I was gasping and rocking and groaning, which isn’t something I often get from anal play.

I’m not sure of how I knew when to raise off of him. He was jerking off, and rarely took his hands off his cock. I think I was watching the shifts in his legs. When he was fine, he’d lay still. When it started to get difficult, one leg would start to rise a little. I’d move forward onto my arms to keep my knees from taking it. He’d gasp, get some air, and then kiss one of my buttocks. I’d flail a little on getting back on my knees (hey! Remember, I’m still a novice at this, thank you very much!) but once up I got much smoother at settling down onto his mouth. This went on for a while until he started making odd noises. I wondered if I was hurting him, then looked down. He was still jacking off, so I leaned forward a bit. His noises got louder and he came. Even with me leaning forward, he was right - I maybe got an eighth of a drop on my breast and the same on my belly. No worries, easy to wipe off.

I was in no pain at all when we were done. Putting as much weight as I could on his face saved my knees. Once I’d scooted over to let him up and he caught his breath, he said, “Wow, I came *really fast*. I never come that fast.” I guess all of the stopping and starting and adjusting didn’t take away from the experience for him.

He turned cold again and we got the blanket out for him again. As we lay there, he commented, “Your ass is really clean. Like, that’s the cleanest ass I’ve had my faces in.”

“Well, I promise: I did not do any special cleaning for you.”

He blinked at me. “You didn’t?!?”

“Nope. No enemas or nothin’.”

“WOW. I didn’t taste anything. That never happens.”

Best. Pillow talk. EVAR.

Unfortunately, I discovered today that I didn't clearly read the fine print on the dominant's profile. While the couple plays with other people together and separately, it's a one time deal each time with no repeats. So, while I finally had a good experience with facesitting, I don't get to repeat it with the guy who made it so amazing. I've only kicked myself a little for not fully reading the dominant's profile - that could have ended badly, and I was very lucky that it didn't. But still, drat.

Now, at least, if someone offers me their face as a seat, I know that I can not only facesit them but enjoy it. Good memories and education: it's hard to feel all that let down. I hope that both of them continue to have a wonderful time together and with others. They're generous, smart, beautiful and gave me something wonderful.


6/19/2016 6:49:43 PM
Before you message me, you should know something.

If you don't live near me, and are not as close to my age as I'm looking for - that is, if you don't fit the criteria I list in my profile - I'm likely not going to keep up a correspondence with you.  I may respond to a message or two, but that'll be about it.

I understand that there are people who cast a wider net than I do, and that's fine.  However, I'm not interested in being in that net.  I know that there are people here who are looking for sexy chat, or outright online play.  Again, that's fine; and again, I'm not. 

"You want what you want, and there's nothing wrong with that.  It's how you go about getting it that's the issue." - a former partner of mine

I agree with that statement.  I try to find people with whom I'm compatible, and I try to watch for statements or criteria that rule me out.  There are billions of people in the world, so for me this just helps me narrow my field more efficiently.  Other people don't see it that way.

That's fine.  I'm just not interested in conversing with those people.



5/19/2016 12:25:30 PM
CFNM gaming party.

Heh.  I went to a Clothed Female / Naked Male gaming party last Tuesday.  It was darling.  At one point, we actually had an even gender distribution of participants, even with wonky arrival times.  However, the host managed to create an atmosphere that was safe for the masculine-of-center and feminine-of-center folks.  The rules:

  1. There was a brief, clothed social hour.
  2. At the end of the social hour, any men who would be staying clothed had to leave. (Some naked men freak out in the company of clothed men.)
  3. The doors would lock before the party started. Anyone could leave, but nobody new could enter.
  4. It wasn't a sex or BDSM play party.  However, service like shoulder massage over clothes, or foot massages, or fetch-and-carry, was encouraged for those who consented.
  5. The focus of the party was for the benefit of the feminine gaze, so being presentable was important.
  6. The games involve board and card games the would last under a certain amount of time (no longer than 40 - 60 minutes).
  7. Negotiations and clear consent were mandatory.

I only got to play two games, and my favorite was Coup ... possibly because I won.  :)  I did, however, not only game in a group of lovely naked men; but I proved a small amount of geekiness by introducing one of the men to Will Wheton's Tabletop web series.


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