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My sexuality is something that's been quite difficult for me to figure out. I've always identified as straight, being as that I'm not attracted to men. However, I've always felt more feminine than other boys. As early as 6 I can remember letting my shirt hang off my shoulders, and enjoying the way it felt girly. In a society that expects dominance out of men, I've hidden that emotional and soft side of my sexuality. I've always been more compassionate, empathetic and softer than most guys. A lot of women are drawn to me because of it, but often times I find that I feel inadequate in filling their other expectations of what a man should be. I'm a tall, strong guy, and being dominant in the bedroom is not beyond me. There's this very soft, submissive core to me, though, that I feel most women just don't know how to appreciate. I'm not all about forced control, or pain. I'm turned on by sensuality, domination, mental teasing and intelligence in those areas. I do open up to, and I'm very turned on by the thought of being dominated, though. To being humiliated. Demeaned. I don't really know all of my wants, as I'm very new to all of this. I like that there is a community, because I feel like people need this outlet in a society so conformed, but I don't necessarily want to be a part of the community. I just want to use it as a means to find someone who understands me, and who I can satisfy. I'm not searching for love, or a serious relationship, but I'm not hiding from them either. I've always been a pleaser. I get sexually aroused by a pat on the head. By being bent over and told that I'm attractive. I feel that I'm inherently submissive, but that it's never been appreciated or tapped into by anyone.
One reason why I've always hesitated in making a profile like this. Seems the act of doing so lends you to some sort of stereotype, or some kind of expectation. I'm not typical in any sense, but I feel that being a-typical is actually quite typical, it's just that most people seem to judge too quickly and too broadly. I think sex feeds off of everything else in a relationship, and that everything else feeds the sexuality of a couple. I want to be myself, with a person who is being themselves, not a role. But I also want for that sex to be the kind that I'm interested in. For that kind of sex to influence the relationship.
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